kNDORA 

..... .^  ^^ — * 


SALZSCHEIDEFL 


AT    LOS  ANGELES 


ROBERT  ERNEST  COWAN 


.       o 

i      O  t±* 


PANDORA 


A   NOVEL 


BY 


MRS.    SALZSCHE1DER, 


SAN  FRANCISCO 

THF,  WH1TAKER  &  RAY  COMl'ANY 

(INCORPORATED) 

1901 


CORYRIGHT,   I9OI 
BY 

MRS.  ALBERT  SALZSCHEIDER. 


»***•>  L'  i'J  «   i*  &    *»•        *   j  +,;t  ?  ''  i  '-  /''  1  !'f*J      s,  i  -rj 

«*;!»  >"•  '^v»  "7«'" 

"--.,    •  J  ^     J?tt    t*  v  „          •       "       >   ,*T    ,*1     J  '*     '^  *    '    "    '  •  "    ' 


CONTENTS. 


Chapter.  Page. 

I.     A  Bird's-Eye  View  of  the  World 5 

II.  A  Lesson  in  Love 17 

III.  Debits  and  Credits 27 

IV.  "Without  Orange  Blossoms 33 

V.     With  Orange  Blossoms 53 

VI.     "Stars  and  Stripes" 61 

VII.     An  Affair  of  the  Heart 69 

VIII.     An  Affair  Without  Heart 75 

IX.     More  "Stripes" 87 

X.     Northern  Blasts 93 

XI.     "Love  and  War" 101 

XII.     The  Glass  Eailway 121 

XIII.  Favors  versus  Disfavors 135 

XIV.  Dreams 153 

XV.  Awakenings 171 

XVI.     Kesults 177 

XVII.     The  Dim  Future 193 

(3) 


286107 


PANDORA 


CHAPTER  I. 
A  BIRD'S-EYE  VIEW  OF  THE  WORLD. 

"More  beautiful  than  'Pandora,'  upon  whom  all  the 
gods   bestowed   their  gifts." 

The  above  quotation  uttered,  involuntarily,  by  the 
curate  of  our  parish,  upon  first  viewing  my  infantile 
charms,  impressed  a  classical  few  of  the  congregation 
present  with  a  sense  of  its  incongruous,  adaptability. 

They  had  come  to  see  the  minister's  new  baby,  the 
little  life  which  had  cost  him  that  of  his  wife,  and  to 
tender  congratulatory  sympathy  to  himself.  But  rind 
ing  my  father  totally  absorbed  in  his  new  sorrow  and 
apparently  oblivious  of  my  existence,  which  seemed  al 
so  near  a  termination,  they  took  upon  themselves  the 
responsibility  of  christening  and  calling  me  "PAN- 
DOEA" — a  circumstance  I  lived  to  regret,  as  this 
heathenish  introdudtion  into  the  sanctified  atmosphere 
of  his  manse  may  have  intensified  a  prejudice  already 

(5) 


6  PANDORA. 

formed  of  me,  by  the  fact  of  my  mother's  death  and  my 
birth  being  synonymous,  as  he  never  suffered  himself  to 
call  me,  excepting  to  family  prayers,  making  that  ob 
servance  one  of  moment,  to  me  at  least,  if  not  of  inter 
est.  And  lacking  the  parental  attentions  and  supply 
of  toys  which  fall  to  the  lot  of  more  fortunate  children, 
either  from  force  of  habit  or  want  of  better  amusement, 
I  acquired  the  all  too  early,  but  not  unfeminine,  habit 
of  admiring  my  features  in  a  hand-glass,  which  Nurse 
Fetterly  would  produce  when  duty  called  her  elsewhere. 

For  hours  I  would  lie  upon  my  little  back,  gazing  in 
silent  wonder  and  admiration  at  the  lovely  reflection, 
and  cooing  approval  until  the  mirror  would  fall  from 
my  grasp,  when  my  only  recourse  would  be  an  exami 
nation  of  each  dimpled  finger  and  toe.  This  weakness 
she  soon  discovered,  and  used  as  a  sedative  upon  all  oc 
casions,  fostering  it  as  I  grew  older,  and,  for  the  lack  of 
interest  others  displayed,endeavored  to  compensate  me 
by  a  generous  administration  of  flattery,  seasoned 
with  bitter  reflections. 

But  I  was  not  satisfied  with  being  lovely.  I  wanted 
to  be  loved,  and  as  the  years  crept  over  my  young  head 
I  craved  it  from  all  with  whom  I  came  in  contact.  My 
sister  Irene  professed  to  love  me,  but  my  father  held 
first  place  in  her  heart.  This  knowledge  rankled  with- 


A  BIRD'S-EYE   VIEW  OF  THE  WORLD.  7 

in  me.  The  more  so  as  he  absorbed  almost  her  entire 
attention,  and  I  alone  o!  his  three  children  was  not 
admitted  within  the  sacred  precincts  of  his  "study." 
I  envied  her  in  those  days  because  she  was  so  much  to 
him,  though  her  youth  was  an  era  of  untiring  self-de 
nial  in  his  behalf  of  ceaseless  sermon  writing,  parish 
visiting,  and  strenuous  efforts  to  cover  a  loss  which, 
from  constant  brooding,  had  changed  his  nature. 

Leo,  my  brother,  and  elder  by  three  years,  was  also 
fond  of  me  in  his  careless,  school-boy  fashion,  and  when 
he  condescended  to  play  with  me  I  was  happy;  but 
when  not  attending  school  or  rehearsing  lessons  with 
our  parent,  his  inclinations  more  often  led  him  away, 
while  I,  being  a  girl,  must  remain  at  home,  and  when 
the  iron-latched  gate  of  our  high  board  fence  clanged 
behind  him,  I  don't  believe  the  young  chick,  hatched 
out  by  mistake  among  a  brood  of  ducklings  and  seeing 
them  take  to  water  for  the  first  time,  felt  more  desolate 
than  I. 

My  father's  indifference  was  a  source  of  great  dis 
quietude  to  me,  and  many  and  varied  were  the  plans 
concocted  in  my  childish  brain  for  gaining  his  approval; 
each  one  more  fruitless  than  the  last.  Being  charita 
bly  disposed  by  nature,  among  other  things  I  one  day 
conceived  the  idea  of  ingratiating  myself  into  his  good- 


8  PANDORA. 

will,  as  well  as  that  of  a  sick  parishioner,  by  unusual 
magnanimity.  Something  similar  to  the  missions  of  love 
I  had  seen  my  sister  perform,  vary  ing  only  in  that  I  was 
ignorant  of  the  laws  of  economy  or  equal  distribution; 
therefore  the  pleasant  surprise  long  planned,  in  which 
I  was  to  be  suddenly  transformed  from  the  realms  of 
despair  to  a  pinnacle  of  glory,  fell  far  short  of  my  ex 
pectations,  and  really  seemed  the  turning  point  in  my 
life.  It  consisted  in  confiscating  our  Sunday  dinner 
from  the  kitchen  during  cook's  temporary  absence,  and 
having  escaped  the  vigilance  of  the  others,  with  much 
difficulty  conveyed  the  greasy,  cumbersome  substance 
half  a  mile,  unaided,  being  unwilling  to  share  the  glory 
with  any  other,  triumphantly  depositing  it,  basket  and 
all,  upon  the  exterior  of  an  old  neighbor  woman's  stom 
ach — who  was  suffering  with  cancer  of  that  organ — 
while  she  lay  in  bed.  My  intentions,  as  I  explained 
before,  were  the  best,  but  the  enormity  of  the  offense 
was  made  so  palpable,  I  felt  compelled  to  renounce  all 
Good  Samaritan  proclivities,  and  turned  elsewhere 
for  diversion. 

Endowed  with  an  active,  ambitious  nature,  the  mo 
notony  and  aimlessness  of  my  existence  seemed  unbear 
able,  intensifying  with  the  seasons.  My  whole  soul  re 
belled  against  such  isolation,  and  longed  for  a  change. 


A  BIRD'S-EYE  VIEW  OF  THE  WORLD.  9 

Nurse  Fetterly  continually  told  me  I  was  beautiful, 
and  having  nothing  else  to  divert  my  mind  I  mused 
much  over  it,  longing  to  hear  it  from  others,  and  when 
my  fourteenth  birthday  arrived  I  resolved,  come  what 
might,  to  go  to  my  father,  and  apprising  him  of  the 
fact,  request  equal  privileges  with  Irene  and  Leo — the 
privilege,  at  least,  of  an  occasional  walk  in  the  village, 
unattended  by  Nurse  Fetterly,  and  minus  the  unsightly 
sun-bonnet  which  screened  my  features  from  view. 

He  was  dictating  a  sermon  to  Irene  as  I  entered,  and, 
glancing  nervously  over  his  shoulder  in  my  direction, 
half  rose,  as  though  to  avoid  the  scene  my  unusual 
presence  and  determined  face  might  indicate,  but  find 
ing  the  entrance  obstructed,  reseated  himself,  looking 
inquiringly  at  Irene,  who  appeared  worried,  while  I  felt 
relieved  to  see  her  there. 

"What  is  it,  dear?"  she  said,  a  little  impatiently,  glid 
ing  toward  me,  and  endeavoring  with  one  arm  about 
my  waist  to  lure  me  outside;  but  I  maintained  my 
ground  regardless  of  her,  firmly  and  doggedly  stating 
my  mission. 

He  listened  with  the  resignation  of  despair  until  I 
announced  the  momentous  occasion  of  my  birthday  an 
niversary,  which  I  had  withheld  to  the  last  as  a  reserve 
force,  when,  starting  up  suddenly  with  white,  accusing 


10  PANDORA. 

face,  he  waved  me  from  him.  I  watched  Irene  run, 
terror-stricken,  to  him  with  a  glass  od:  water,  and  help 
him  to  a  lounge,  then,  turning,  fled.  Disappointed, 
snubbed,  angry,  and  feeling  only  sympathy  with  myself 
for  being  alive,  I  defiantly  tore  the  obnoxious  sun-bon 
net  from  my  head,  rending  it  into  shreds.  Experienc 
ing  afterward  the  utmost  satisfaction  in  surveying  the 
wreck,  and  intensely  relieved  from  the  encumbrance,  I 
raced  desperately  about  the  grounds  with  my  brother, 
in  mad  pursuit  of  gaudy-winged  butterflies,  then, 
breathless  and  panting,  flung  myself  down  upon  the 
unmowed  grass  to  rest,  each  beautiful,  quivering  cap 
tive  of  the  chase  pinned  securely  and  ruthlessly  to  my 
bib.  My  brother  stood  surveying  me.  A  new  light 
seemed  to  have  dawned  upon  him,  a  new  interest  in  me 
to  have  developed. 

"Pandora,"  he  said,  regarding  me  less  condescend 
ingly  than  usual,  through,  for  once,  unbiased  brotherly 
blue  eyes,  "you  are  the  prettiest  girl  I  ever  saw,  if  you 
are  my  sister.  Your  eyes  and  hair  are  exactly  the  same 
color,  and  your  skin — I  never  knew  it  was  so  white. 
Ye  gods!  Would  not  the  college  boys  be  your  slaves  if 
they  could  see  you  now/' 

Leo's  praise  was  as  nectar  to  me,  and  when  he  had 
gone  I  gloated  silently  over  his  words,  and  running  to 


A  BIRD'S-EYE  VIEW  OF  THE  WORLD.  H 

a  pond  near  by,  peered  earnestly  into  its  depths,  to 
study  the  situation  for  myself. 

This  is  what  I  saw:  An  oval  face  with  skin  of  almost 
dazzling  whiteness.  Long,  sleepy,  almond-shaped,  hazel 
eyes,  with  lashes  of  inky  blackness  and  unusual  length; 
Grecian  nose  and  perfectly  shaped  lips;  the  whole 
marred  slightly  by  a  shortness  of  chin,  which  I  had 
somewhere  heard  indicated  weakness.  Instinctively  I 
covered  it  with  some  of  the  heavy,  overhanging  loose 
curls.  The  effect  was  more  pleasing;  then,  like  Nar 
cissus  I  gazed  long  and  rapturously,  for,  like  Narcis 
sus,  I  was  in  love  with  my  own  image. 

As  the  captive-reared  lion  accidentally  discovers  his 
strength,  so  did  I  learn  the  power  of  my  beauty. 

Nurse  Fetterly  from  an  upper  window  beheld  the 
sun  play  havoc  with  my  fair  skin,  protesting  loudly, 
unheeded  by  me.  I  was  reckless,  and  chafed  under 
restraint. 

With  longing  eyes  I  regarded  the  high  board  fence 
which  surrounded  our  grounds  and  screened  me  from 
the  outside  world.  Although  forbidden  to  leave  its 
gates  unattended  there  was  nothing  to  prevent  my 
scaling  the  obstruction.  Another  moment  and  I  was 
perched  upon  one  of  its  posts,  both  shapely  legs  dang 
ling  streetward,  beaming  felicitously  with  eyes  un- 


12  PANDORA. 

shielded  by  cotton  sun-bonnet  upon  the  scene  below. 
The  breeze  played  mad  pranks  wiith  my  lilac  frock,  and 
wafted  the  ends  of  my  white  pinafore  backward  like 
cherub's  wings,  but  made  no  impression  upon  the  heavy, 
overhanging,  loose  auburn  curls  which  fell  in  rich  pro 
fusion  about  my  shoulders,  forming  a  charming  back 
ground  for  classic  features,  and  an  interesting  picture 
to  passers-by,  who  paused  to  comment,  while  I  re 
mained  unmoved,  thinking  it  but  my  due. 

Presently,  there  came  in  sight,  with  a  firm,  elastic 
step  and  whistling  some  lively  air,  a  youth  who  pos 
sessed  more  than  passing  interest  for  me.  It  was  Rex 
Hilborne,  only  son  of  our  member  of  parliament  and 
college  chum  of  my  brothers.  I  knew  him  by  a  photo 
graph  of  him  which  hung  in  the  latter's  room. 

Noting  his  absorption  1  felt  I  would  be  unobserved 
unless  something  unusual  happened  to  arrest  his  atten 
tion,  and  I  wanted  him  to  see  me.  In  my  hand  I  held 
a  small  volume  of  the  life  of  Cleopatra,  the  Egyptian 
queen,  which  that  morning  I  had  slipped  surreptitiously 
into  my  blouse,  awaiting  an  opportunity  to  read  it.  I 
dropped  this  upon  the  pavement  at  his  feet. 

Stopping  suddenly  he  recovered  it,  then  turned  a 
laughing,  ruddy  face  upwards,  expecting  to  find  my 
brother  the  culprit,  but  seeing  me  the  smile  died  upon 


A  BIRD'S-EYE   VIEW  OF  THE  WORLD.  13 

his  lips,  and  as  though  intoxicated  by  the  unforeseen 
apparition  he  let  the  volume  fall  again,  reddening 
visibly. 

Child  though  I  was,  I  realized  my  influence,  bring 
ing  it  immediately  into  play. 

'Tick  that  up,"  I  said,  imperiously.  Without  a  word 
he  did  so,  standing  submissively  before  me. 

"Now  hand  it  to  me,"  I  commanded.  He  obeyed 
again  in  a  dazed  way,  after  glancing  hurriedly  at  the 
title. 

"Why  do  you  not  go  now?"  I  asked,  for  he  stood  hat 
in  hand,  irresolute. 

"I  want  you  to  promise  me  one  thing  first,"  hesitat 
ingly- 

"Well?" 

"Do  not  read  that  book." 

"Why  not?"  I  asked,  though  knowing  I  had  seen 
proper  to  conceal  it,  and  secretly  appreciating  the  in 
terest  he  displayed  in  me. 

"Because — well  I  don't  know,  but,"  stammering,  "if 
I  had  a  sister  I  should  not  allow  her  to  read  it." 

"Pugh,"  I  said,  pursing  my  lips  in  mock  disdain,  "I 
don't  believe  I  should  like  you  for  my  brother,  then. 
Leo  lets  me  read  anything  I  choose,  and  never  tells  on 
me,  either.  But — but,"  kicking  the  boards  of  the 


14  PANDORA. 

fence  with  one  heel  of  iny  shoe,  and  causing  little  flakes 
of  dust  to  fall  into  his  eyes,  which  he  was  compelled 
to  rub  vigorously  in  consequence,  "he  will  not  read 
them  to  me,  and'' — falteringly — "I  cannot  always  make 
out  the  big  words.  He  says,"  with  downcast  eyes, 
while  I  pleated  vigorously  little  tucks  in  my  freshly 
laundered  bib,  "that  there  is  no  fun  in  wasting  so  much 
time  on  one's  own  sister." 

I  peeped  sideways  at  him.  He  was  industriously 
tracing  some  letters  on  the  earth  sidewalk,  which  my 
quick  eye  detected  to  be  PANDORA.  "Do  you  ever 
read  stories  to  other  fellows'  sisters  ?"  I  asked,  encour 
aged  by  the  observation,  and  glancing  down  coquet- 
tishly  at  him  from  beneath  my  long  eyelashes. 

By  this  time  he  had  rubbed  all  the  dust  from  his 
eyes,  which  beamed  back  radiantly  into  mine  at  the  im 
plied  suggestion,  and  without  hesitation,  answered, 
"Yes,  if  they  ask  me  to." 

"Cleopatra?"  I  queried  again  in  questioning  surprise, 
not  unmixed  with  chagrin,  thinking  he  might  have 
framed  himself  some  other  excuse  for  seeing  me,  as  I 
had  an  inborn  intuition  of  right  and  wrong,  and  this 
musty,  worm-eaten  volume  which  Nurse  Fetterly  had 
ferrited  from  her  own  belongings  for  my  edification, 
with  the  injunction  that  1  keep  it  out  of  sight  of  niy 


A  BIRD'S-EYE  VIEW  OF  THE  WORLD.  15 

father  and  Irene,  was  to  me  the  outside  limit  of  gor 
geous  depravity. 

"Why  not?"  a  little  sheepishly,  then  in  more  persua 
sive  tones  as  he  turned  to  go.  "May  I  not  come  to 
morrow?  I  like  to  read  to  other  fellows'  sisters." 

"Would  you  read  it  to  rne  if  I  were  your  own  sister," 
I  persisted,  for  something  in  his  face  angered  me,  but  he 
turned  laughingly  away  without  replying,  and  I  was  un 
willing  now  that  he  should,  and  called  to  him,  having 
become  in  a  perfect  fury  by  this  time. 

"Come  back,  I  have  lost  my  slipper."  Retracing  his 
steps  he  recovered  it,  and  was  tenderly  attempting  its 
adjustment,  I  having  placed  my  foot  in  a  position  indic 
ative  of  it,  when,  without  warning,  I  shot  that  member 
out  with  marvelous  dexterity,  striking  him  full  in  the 
face. 

I  saw  him  stagger,  and  blood  spurt  from  his  nose  as 
a  result ;  then  quickly  righting  himself  as  I  swayed  back 
ward — having  lost  my  balance  in  the  effort — he  grasped 
me  by  one  leg  in  time  to  avert  a  fall,  which  would  un 
doubtedly  have  broken  my  neck.  Then  with  some  in 
dignation  stamped  upon  his  blood-stained  but  withal 
handsome  countenance  upturned  to  my  downcast,  un- 
regretful  one,  he  reproached  me. 

"You  made  a  request  of  me  and  then  went  into  a 


16  PANDORA. 

rage  because  I  agreed  to  it,  when  you  know  if  I  had  not 
done  so  you  would  have  felt  snubbed,  and  been  still 
more  angry.  I  wonder  you  do  not  kick  me  again  for 
preventing  your  fall  in  such  an  undignified  manner.  If 
I  had  stopped  to  think,"  continued  this  young  philos 
opher,  addressing  no  one  in  particular  this  time,  appar 
ently,  while  he  held  a  handkerchief  pressed  tightly  to 
his  face  in  desperate  efforts  to  stop  the  flow,  lingering 
with  the  hope  that  I  might  relent  sufficiently  to  offer 
some  apology  or  regret,  "I  might  perhaps  have  saved 
myself  many  future  kicks;  but,"  shrugging  his  shoul 
ders  and  walking  disgustedly  away  at  sight  of  my  unre 
lenting  face,  "a  fellow  always  does  make  a  fool  of  him 
self  over  a  pretty  girl." 

When  I  recounted  the  adventure  to  Nurse  Fetterly — 
my  one  confidante — she  laughed  immoderately,  and 
told  me  it  was  but  a  beginning  to  the  mischief  my  eyes 
would  work  upon  all  who  saw  them,  but  clasped  me 
closely  to  her  heart  upon  hearing  of  my  narrow  escape 
from  a  horrible  death.  Afterward,  noting  the  strug 
gling,  pinioned  victims  upon  my  bib,  she  exclaimed: 

"Bless  the  child!  whatever  has  come  over  her,  any 
way.  Not  long  since  she  would  cry  her  pretty  eyes  out 
if  any  creature  were  in  pain;  now  she  takes  pleasure  in 
inflicting  it,  and  every  year  she  grows  worse.  Dear, 
dear,  whatever  will  become  of  her  ?" 


CHAPTEK  II. 

A   LESSON   IN   LOVE. 

"A  little  western  flower, 

Before  milk-white,  now  purple  with  love's  wound; 

And  maidens  call  it  love-in-idleness." 

Notwithstanding  my  apparently  discouraging  intro 
duction  to  Rex  Hilborne,  as  a  result  of  the  escapade  a 
warmer  friendship  developed  between  he  and  Leo,  with 
apparent  advantage  to  myself,  as  the  former  frequently 
visited  the  manse,  while  I  had  risen  many  degrees  in 
the  estimation  of  the  latter,  both  boys  inviting  my 
participation  in  their  games,  which  were  well  named, 
as  Bex  would  not  defeat  me  in  anything.  My  most 
exacting  demands  were  law  to  him;  his  servitude  a  de 
lightful  novelty  to  me. 

One  of  the  greatest  benefits  he  conferred  upon  me 
was  to  intercede  with  my  father  for  my  liberty  outside; 
he  finally  consenting  in  order  to  retain  his  own  within, 
and  partly  for  a  great  partiality,  he  possessed  for  the 
petitioner,  while  I  took  "the  goods  the  gods  provided" 
and  asked  no  questions,  triumphantly  joining  them  in 

(17) 


18  PANDORA. 

all  their  excursions.  But  my  gain  proved  Hex  Hil- 
borne's  loss,  as  I  became  associated  with  his  friends, 
who  vied  with  him  in  doing  me  homage.  Then  it  was 
I  learned  some  new  phases  in  his  character  which  would 
only  assert  themselves  when  crossed,  taking  every  pos 
sible  advantage  of  it  to  torment  him,  and  experiencing 
no  difficulty,  as  a  pretty  girl  is  a  power  to  a  college 
boy.  My  slightest  favor  was  more  to  them  than  a 
medal;  their  flattery  and  attentions  to  me  what  bon 
bons  were  to  another  child.  But  to  Hex  Hilborne  it 
proved  vexatious.  From  a  bright,  ambitious  boy,  he 
was  becoming  morose,  irritable,  and  indifferent  to 
studies;  to  everything  in  fact  excepting  myself  and  my 
moods.  His  parents,  whose  whole  hopes  were  centered 
in  him,  wondered  at  and  lamented  the  change,  while  I 
reveled  in  it. 

Owing  perhaps  to  unsympathetic  home  surroundings, 
it  had  grown  part  of  my  nature  to  believe  myself  totally 
incapable  of  the  ability  of  inspiring  love.  Attributing 
every  attention  solely  to  exterior  attractions,  I  experi 
enced  in  consequence  few,  if  any,  compunctions  from 
the  result  of  my  coquetries.  I  knew  regret  only  when 
the  missile  directed  toward  others  would  rebound  upon 
my  own  head,  as  in  the  following  instance. 


A  LE880N  IN  LOVE.  19 

The  afternoon  will  always  be  vividly  impressed  upon 
my  memory  as  one  of  the  last  of  a  series  of  halcyon 
days,  which  in  the  thoughtlessness  of  youth  I  had  be 
gun  to  believe  would  last  for  all  time. 

It  being  an  unusually  warm  day  in  August,  and,  im 
pelled  by  a  desire  for  shade  and  society  I  had  sought 
shelter  in  the  manse  orchard,  where  Leo,  carefully 
concealed  from  our  parent's  .ministerial  eye  behind  a 
hedge  of  blackberry  bushe?,  lay  smoking  a  cigarette. 

The  college  in  our  academic  village  had  closed  its 
gates  for  the  summer  to  boarders,  leaving  me,  with  the 
exception  of  Leo  and  Rex,  destitute  of  friends.  I  was 
sixteen,  Leo  nineteen — an  age  when  other  boys'  sisters 
become  preferable  to  their  own — and  Eex  for  some 
unaccountable  reason,  had  evaded  me  lately.  I  missed 
him,  and  asked  my  brother  for  an  explanation.  In  re 
ply,  he  puffed  smoke  at  me,  looked  wise,  and  turning 
over  on  his  back  to  avoid  further  questioning,  mumbled 
something  about  "girls  not  knowing  when  they  were 
well  off." 

Before  I  could  reply  we  saw  Rex  approaching,  pale, 
and  with  a  fixed,  determined  purpose  in  his  face. 

The  boys  exchanged  cordial  but  mysterious  greetings. 
Leo  made  a  speedy  exit,  and  Rex,  extending  to  me  his 
hand,  without  other  preliminaries  said — 


20  PANDOKA. 

"Pandora,  I  am  going  away  to-night  that  I  may  try 
and  forget  you.  It  is  utter  folly  throwing  my  life  away 
for  one  who  does  not  care  for  me  and  probably  never 
will.  My  parents  know  all  now  and  it  is  either  that 
or" — he  stopped  short  as  though  he  had  said  too  much. 

I  was  astonished  as  well  as  piqued,  never  having 
dreamed  of  such  a  contingency,  but  I  w,as  proud  also, 
and  would  almost  rather  have  stooped  to  anything  than 
an  admission  of  regard  now.  But  when  I  looked  back 
upon  the  dull  vista  of  years  before  he  came  into  my  life, 
and  thought  what  the  future  might  be  without  him,  I 
believed,  at  least,  I  could  compromise  some  way  without 
too  much  degredation. 

"Must  you  go?"  I  asked,  almost  appealingly,  and  sit 
ting  upright  in  genuine  alarm,  while  I  laid  one  hand 
detainingly  upon  his  arm. 

I  was  appalled  at  myself,  then,  for  having  exhibited 
such  concern,  and  thinking  him  not  sufficiently  im 
pressed,  sought  to  modify  it.  "You  surely  would  not 
go  away  and  leave  me  without  a  soul  to  amuse  me?" 
I  asked,  assuming  an  air  of  coquettish  anxiety,  garn 
ished  with  just  sufficient  unseasoned  irony  to  make  it 
unpalatable,  while  I  swallowed  a  rising  lump  in  my 
throat  by  an  enforced  yawn. 


A  LESSON  IN  LOVE.  21 

"Amuse  you?"  he  said,  bitterly;  and  his  face,  which 
had  brightened  perceptibly  at  the  beginning  of  my 
speech,  darkened  as  perceptibly  at  its  close.  "Do  you 
think  I  was  put  into  the  world  for  no  higher  purpose 
than  to  come  at  your  beck  and  call,  as  the  humor  suits 
you,  only  to  be  spurned  when  another  takes  your  fancy? 
Do  you  think  my  future  is  of  so  little  consequence  that 
I  can  afford  to  waste  the  best  years  of  my  life  pursuing 
a  shadow?  No,  Pandora,  I  have  come  to  the  conclu 
sion  that  there  are  others  have  my  interest  more  at 
heart,  and  it  is  to  my  advantage  to  leave  before  I  be 
come  too  much  enslaved." 

"Then  go,"  I  sneered,  deeply  incensed  at  what  I  con 
sidered  my  scorned  concessions.  "Go,"  and  with  mock 
indifference,  "Please  remember  to  forget  me,  as  I  shall 
forget  to  remember  you." 

He  kneeled  wearily  against  an  apple  tree,  upon  the 
gnarled  trunk  of  which  I  sat,  seeming  to  weaken  at  my 
artificial  strength,  and  bending  nearer  said  pleadingly: 

"Pandora,  will  you  be  kinder  to  me,  and  give  me 
sufficient  encouragement  to  pursue  my  studies  if  I  re 
main?" 

Still  burning  from  the  supposed  affront  to  my  dig 
nity,  indolently  rising,  I  stood  insolently  before  him 


22  PANDORA. 

in  all  the  fresh,  lithe  beauty  of  sixteen,  and  with  cynical 
significance  replied: 

"Kinder?  Yes,  I  will  give  you  a  photograph  of  my 
self  to  put  on  your  college  desk.  Will  not  that  be  suffi 
cient?" 

His  face  flushed  angrily.  "If  that  is  your  opinion 
of  me,"  he  said  vindictively,  "let  me  tell  you  that  it  is 
not  to  your  credit  that  you  should  care  to  have  me  re 
main,  even  'to  amuse'  you.  Another  thing — you  may 
abuse,  you  have  abused  me;  you  shall  not  sneer  at  me. 
Good-by;  if  the  result  of  this  interview  prove  disap 
pointing,  blame  yourself."  He  raised  his  hat,  haugh 
tily,  and  without  another  word,  or  look,  walked  rapidly 
away,  leaving  me  in  a  state  of  wondering  trepidation, 
and  possessed  of  an  intense  longing  to  recall  him;  but 
lacking  the  moral  courage,  endeavored  to  reassure  my 
self  with  the  thought  that  I  would  meet  him  soon  again 
and  matters  would  right  themselves. 

For  an  hour  I  sat  there  after  he  had  gone,  forming 
new  resolutions  with  regard  to  him,  always  hampered 
by  the  thought  of  humiliating  myself  unnecessarily, 
because  of  my  disbelief  in  his  possessing  any  deep  re 
gard  for  me,  deeming  it  nothing  but  a  rivalry  among 
boys  for  the  chief  consideration  of  the  fairest  in  the 
village. 


A  LESSON  IN  LOVE.  23 

Not  being  in  a  humor  to  meet  Leo,  who  was  regard 
ing  me  curiously  a  little  distance  away,  I  meant  to 
avoid  him  by  reaching  the  house  to  the  rear  of  the 
shrubbery,  and  upon  emerging  from  its  thickness  came 
suddenly  upon  the  Honorable  Mr.  Hilborne,  the  father 
of  Rex,  and  my  own  parent  in  earnest  conversation, 
which  ceased  abruptly  as  I  approached,  and  was  a  pre 
lude  to  what  followed  when  Irene,  after  dinner,  calling 
me  aside,  timidly  informed  me  that  it  had  been  de 
cided  I  was  to  be  sent  immediately  to  boarding-school. 

"You  know,  dear,"  she  said,  by  way  of  explanation, 
"you  are  growing  quite  a  young  lady  now,  and,  apart 
from  father's  requiring  my  attention  more  every  day, 
I  hardly  feel  myself  competent  to  continue  your  studies 
unaided  any  longer." 

This  was  all;  no  allusion  to  Eex  or  his  departure;  yet 
I  felt  instinctively  he  would  remain,  and  our  late  visitor 
was  instrumental  in  my  hurried  exit.  If  he  had  so 
suggested  it  was  sufficient.  He  was  a  pillar  of  the 
church — I  but  a  thorn  in  his  side.  Then  they  had 
given  me  no  loophole  for  questioning.  I  must  abide 
by  this  evasion  of  the  truth,  or  commit  myself  ridicu 
lously. 

The  idea  of  boarding-school,  as  they  well  knew,  was 
repugnant  to  me,  but  not  more  so  than  an  appeal  for 


24  PANDORA. 

consideration.  Experience  had  taught  me  the  hollow- 
ness  of  such  things.  What  distressed  me  most,  though, 
was  the  uncertainty  as  to  how  far  Rex  was  concerned 
in  it.  One  moment  I  would  bite  my  lips  in  mortifica 
tion  at  even  the  half-hearted  confession  made,  then 
again  think  the  error  lay  in  its  incompleteness.  Final 
ly,  I  left  without  bidding  him  adieu. 

Leo  embraced  me  bashfully  when  I  was  ready  to  go, 
Nurse  Fetterly  hugged  and  cried  over  me  alternately, 
while  my  father,  who  had  risen  early  to  prepare  his 
nerves  for  the  unavoidable  ordeal  of  an  adieu,  awaited 
my  coming  with  Irene  and  smelling  salts  in  the  back 
ground. 

I  entered  almost  at  the  last  moment,  with  Leo  as 
second.  A  feeling  of  hungry  desolation  at  heart,  and 
with  a  lingering  hope  he  would  receive  me  kindly,  half 
raised  my  lips  to  be  kissed. 

He  met  me  with  a  melancholy  forced  smile,  accom 
panied  by  a  sigh,  fumbling  vainly  about  in  his  vocabu 
lary  for  something  to  say.  But  there  was  no  bond  of 
sympathy  between  us,  and  with  pitiable  awkwardness 
he  attempted  to  shorten  the  interview  by  extending  to 
me  in  farewell  one  hand  and  a  bunch  of  tracts.  The 
other  toyed  impatiently,  I  thought,  with  the  leaves  of 
a  Bible,  an  indication  that  its  leaves  would  be  under 
consideration  the  moment  I  made  mv  exit. 


A  LESSON  IN  LOVE.  25 

None  of  these  details  escaped  my  notice.  Dropping 
the  tracts  and  a  mock  courtesy,  with  Irene's  reproach 
ful  kiss  upon  my  lips,  and  the  unaired,  musty  smell  of 
the  "study"  clinging  to  my  nostrils,  half  blinded  by 
efforts  to  conceal  angry  tears,  and  accompanied  by  Leo, 
I  drove  to  the  station — he  endeavoring  to  atone  for 
parental  short-comings  by  unusual  attentions;  I  resent 
ing  the  officiousness  by  alternate  paroxysms  of  ill- 
humor,  and  hysterical  hilarity. 


CHAPTEE  III. 

DEBITS  AND  CREDITS. 

"Love  goes  towards  love,  as  schoolboys  from  their  books; 
But  love  from  love,  towards  school  with  heavy  looks." 

Boarding-school,  after  two  years  of  freedom,  seemed 
insufferable,  particularly  as  I  had  been  unaccustomed 
to  the  society  of  girls,  and  did  not  understand  them, 
nor  they  me.  Consequently,  I  was  unpopular.  They 
did  not  attempt  to  disguise  their  admiration  for  my 
beauty,  but  resented  what  they  termed  hauteur  in  one 
of  the  shabby-genteel  type,  and  stood  aloof,  leaving  me, 
with  an  unquenchable  desire  to  be  one  of  them,  and  not 
even  a  Borrienne  for  consolation. 

Inasmuch  as  I  was  ignorant  of  my  summary  dismissal 
from  home,  I  determined  to  hold  communication  with 
none  of  them;  a  resolution  steadfastly  adhered  to  until 
their  letters  finally  ceased. 

Months  passed,  I  hearing  nothing,  knowing  nothing. 
Watching  my  schoolmates  receive  numerous-  and  affec 
tionate  missives,  I  longed  for  an  excuse  to  remove  the 
barrier  formed  by  myself:  It  came  in  the  form  of  a  let- 

(27) 


28  PANDORA. 

ter  from  Hex.  I  apologized  to  myself  for  my  eagerness 
in  opening  it  by  the  fact  of  its  opportune  arrival. 

He  had  written,  he  said,  at  the  request  of  my  family. 
It  was  solicitous  and  interesting,  but  not  affectionate. 
Enclosed  was  a  line  or  two  from  Leo,  extolling  the  for 
mer's  good  qualities,  and  enlarging  upon  the  pleasure 
both  boys  were  deriving  from  the  smiles  of  a  new 
beauty. 

I  retired  to  my  dormitory  disappointed,  resolving, 
after  a  fierce  conflict  between  pride  and  passion,  to  leave 
the  letter  unanswered,  being  rewarded  three  weeks  later 
by  the  receipt  of  another,  so  demonstrative  in  profes 
sions  of  love  and  fidelity,  I  wondered  if  he  had  not  been 
imbibing  too  freely  of  the  "cup  that  cheers"  as  well  as 
inebriates;  but  at  least  he  had  furnished  me  with  suffi 
cient  excuse  to  reply,  and  when  it  seemed  time  enough 
had  elapsed,  I  responded,  in  as  formal  a  strain  as  I 
could  command. 

The  correspondence  grew,  and  ripened,  interspersed 
with  occasional  home  letters.  I  watched  anxiously  for 
replies  from  Eex,  even  worrying  when  they  were  a  day 
late,  but  always  studiously  avoiding  any  clew  to  my  feel 
ings,  and  growing  more  incredulous  as  he  became  in 
tense. 


DEBITS  AND   CREDITS.  29 

When  I  had  been  at  boarding-school  three  years 
without  vacation,  a  change  came.  Irene,  who  from  my 
earliest  recollection  was  the  affianced  of  our  curate,  was 
finally  prevailed  upon  by  him  to  change  her  present 
thraldom  for  Hymen's  fetters.  She  also  won  father's 
consent  to  my  return  home,  that  I  might  assume  the 
role  of  bridesmaid  at  her  wedding,  and,  when  all  was 
over.,  father's  amanuensis  in  her  place. 

Had  the  invitation  come  from  him  I  should  have  felt 
flattered,  and,,  believing  a  change  to  have  taken  place 
in  his  feelings  regarding  me,  would  have  been  imbued 
with  a  new  desire  to  please  and  quite  as  enthusiastic 
over  the  work  as  the  wedding.  But  it  was  Irene  who 
wrote,  apparently  solicitous  of  our  parent's  comfort  and 
happiness  only,  leading  me  to  wonder  what  extreme 
influence  had  been  brought  to  bear  in  obtaining  his 
toleration  of  the  innovation  and  the  deprivation  of 
Irene.  But  I  did  not  attempt  to  propound  the  riddle 
then,  being  only  desirous  of  release  from  school,  where 
home  worries  had  occupied  my  mind  to  the  detriment 
of  study. 

Although  Irene  would  be  considered  a  pretty  girl, 
her  beauty  was  not  to  be  compared  to  mine — and  I  must 
apologize  here  for  my  apparent  conceit  regarding  my 
self,  which,  being  in  the  past  tense,  seems  to  me  ex- 


30  PANDORA. 

disable.  In  her  white  bridal  robes,  she  was  as. a  sweet, 
modest  violet;  I,  as  some  grand,  imperial  rose;  and  al 
though  in  planning  our  dresses  everything  had  been 
done  to  avoid  such  a  contingency,  when  I  burst  upon 
the  parish  for  the  first  time,  after  an  absence  of  three 
years,  in  my  becoming  maid-of -honor  costume  of  cream 
chiffon,  those  present  held  their  breath  in  astonish 
ment.  Again,  I  had  grown  half  a  head  taller  than 
Irene,  and  the  bread  and  butter  and  calisthenics  of 
boarding-school  had  rounded  and  developed  my  figure 
to  perfection,  while  she  was  small  and  unusually 
slight — the  contrast  throwing  my  sister  a  little  into 
insignificance.  But  they  loved  her  and  stood  in  awe  of 
me. 

After  the  ceremony  her  friends  rallied.  She  was 
surrounded,  congratulated,  and  caressed,  while,  but 
for  Eex,  I  should  have  been  comparatively  alone  in  my 
miserable  glory. 

He  had  stood  at  the  altar  with  me  as  groomsman, 
and  when  liberated  rushed  to  my  side,  and  devouring 
me  with  his  eyes,  deluged  me  with  unconcealed  com 
pliments. 

"To  say  you  are  beautiful,"  he  exclaimed,  "would  be 
mild.  You  are  ravishing;  like  a  Greek  goddess."  He 
longed  to  be  a  sculptor  to  immortalize  my  classic  fea- 


DEBITS  AND   CREDITS.  31 

tures,  or  a  painter,  to  transfer  to  canvas  the  Titian 
tints  of  my  hair  and  eyes.  Then  he  would  wish  I 
were  less  lovely — I  seemed  so  impossible. 

Thus  began  my  second  term  of  flattery,  which  upon 
this  occasion  I  turned  from  petulantly,  imagining  it 
tinged  with  sympathy.  For  of  all  people  I  did  not 
want  Rex  to  pity  my  friendlessness. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS. 

"Perhaps  I  know  thee  better 
Than  had  I  known  thee  longer,  yet  it  seems 
That  I  have  always  known  thee,  and  but  now 
Have  found  thee.    Ah!  I  have  been  waiting  long." 

My  new  vocation  of  amanuensis  to  father,  as  might 
have  heen  expected,  proved  a  failure.  He  endeavored 
to  tolerate  me  and  throw  aside  that  restraint  so  diffi 
cult  to  overcome,  once  contracted  between  near  rela 
tives,  and  which  had  hecome  habitual  in  my  presence. 
But  my  sprawly,  school-girl  hand  and  lack  of  interest 
in  the  work,  which  I  felt  was  not  appreciated,  afforded 
him  an  opportunity  of  severing  the  apprenticeship, 
which  had  been  little  short  of  purgatory  to  both  of 
us. 

With  an  intense  sigh  of  relief  I  shook  from  my 
feet  the  dust  of  the  "study,"  which  had  long  since 
lost  interest  for  me,  fraught  as  it  was  with  nothing 
but  unpleasant  memories,  and  wondering  how  Irene 
could  have  been  mad  enough  to  marry  a  curate  and 
continue  in  the  sermon-writing  business  for  all  time 
after  having  once  escaped  the  martyrdom. 


34  PANDORA. 

In  despair,  he  sent  for  his  new  curate  to  continue 
my  disconnected  work,  commissioning  me  to  initiate 
him.  As  a  result,  he  was  horrified  one  Sunday  morn 
ing  on  finding  an  ode  to  my  eyelashes  tangled  up  be 
tween  the  leaves  of  his  sermon,  and  barely  escaped 
reading  it  aloud  to  the  congregation.  The  curate  was 
dismissed,  and  a  tired  looking  benedict  with  a  wife 
and  six  children  substituted. 

As  far  as  I  myself  was  concerned,  there  was  no  oc 
casion  for  alarm,  as  I  was  greatly  interested  in  Eex. 
He  haunted  the  manse.  Morning,  noon,  and  evening 
found  him  by  my  side — when  I  was  not  otherwise  oc 
cupied — in  undisputed  possession,  the  village  being 
again  absolutely  manless  and  little  else  to  divert  my 
attention. 

The  two  years  had  done  much  for  Eex  as  well,  both 
physically  and  mentally.  He  had  grown  exceptionally 
handsome — that  rich,  dark,  Southern  type,  which 
women  so  admire  in  the  opposite  sex,  and  no  one  knew 
better  how  to  be  entertaining  or  agreeable.  He  had 
recently  been  admitted  to  the  bar,  for  which  he  was 
especially  suited,  being  a  fluent  and  persuasive  talker. 
This  new  laurel,  coupled  with  our  long  estrangement 
and  separation,  added  new  zest  to  the  old  friendship, 
until  I  marveled  how  I  could  ever  have  been  dissat- 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  35 

isfied  with  this  one  ardent  admirer,  whose  persistent 
attentions  had  almost  begun  to  convince  me  were  gen 
uine.  In  my  loneliness  of  spirit  I  clung  to  this  hope, 
only  awaiting  a  formal  declaration  of  love,  with  the 
necessary  accompaniment — marriage — as  proof. 

There  were  moonlight  strolls  innumerable,  with 
chaperones  intolerable,  and  nights  when  the  moon  did 
not  shine  at  all,  and  chaperones — not  of  the  cat  spe 
cies' — failed  to  see  the  contrasting  black  sleeve  belt- 
like  about  my  white  dresses,  or  how  unnecessarily  long 
a  time  it  took  Eex  to  help  me  over  a  muddy  crossing, 
or  what  a  difficult  matter  it  was  to  release  my  hand  on 
parting,  which  would  sometimes  even  be  carried  to  his 
lips  undiscovered,  and  of  course  I  did  not  dare  protest. 

Particular  as  father  was,  there  was  one  diversion  to 
which  he  never  seemed  to  object.  Perhaps  he  realized 
some  license  was  necessary  if  he  wished  Eex  to  become 
his  son-in-law,  and  I  believe  now  it  was  one  of  the  am 
bitions  of  his  life,  if  he  possessed  any.  The  diversion 
in  question  was  boating.  Rex  was  the  unhappy  pos 
sessor  of  a  bark  canoe,  only  warranted  to  carry  two. 
That  in  itself  might  have  been  considered  an  advantage 
to  a  man  in  love,  but  it  was  one  of  those  peculiarly  bal 
anced  contrivances  in  which  it  is  almost  necessary  to 
wear  the  hair  parted  in  the  center,  and  be  certain  to 


36  PANDORA. 

smile  equally  upon  both  sides  of  the  mouth  in  order 
to  retain  one's  equilibrium  and  avoid  being  uncere 
moniously  precipitated  into  the  water,  and  as  there  is 
nothing  so  dampening  to  the  affections,  when  arrayed 
for  conquest  in  a  freshly  laundered  shirt  or  summer 
dress,  we  had  to  be  guarded  upon  these  points,  as  well 
as  many  others,  and  I  fear  did  not  half  appreciate  fath 
er's  confidence  in  us.  At  any  rate  Kex  was  thinking 
seriously  of  selling  his  canoe,  and  buying  me  a  cano 
pied  hammock  upon  a  totally  different  scale.  But  all 
this,  if  not  a  digression,  seems  almost  irrelevant  as  a 
forerunner  to  the  accompanying  scene,  for  an  unfore 
seen  calamity  happened  in  the  meanwhile.  The  mar 
ried  curate  had  been  foolish  enough  to  fall  a  victim 
to  what  he  was  pleased  to  call  my  charms,  and  con 
fessing  the  awful  truth  to  father,  begged  release  from 
parish  duties,  that  he  might  take  himself  far  away 
from  the  witchery  of  my  eyes,  endeavoring  as  before 
to  live  in  the  affections  of  his  wife  and  children. 

Almost  distracted  at  this  new  revelation,  and 
thoroughly  disgusted  with  his  unquiet  life  since  my 
return,  father  sent  for  both  Rex  and  myself,  inform 
ing  us  of  the  casualty,  and  astounding  us  by  the  an 
nouncement,  tremblingly  but  none  the  less  firm,  that 
Rex  must  marry  me  immediately,  or  he  would  dismiss 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  37 

me  forthwith  to  some  feminine  institution,  where  I 
could  be  educated  as  a  teacher,  remaining  until  a  posi 
tion  could  be  procured  for  me,  as  he  could  not  have 
me  at  home  to  create  a  disturbance  among  the  curates, 
and  disgrace  him  in  the  eyes  of  the  congregation.  I 
was  horrified  and  incensed,  feeling  neither  of  them 
had  been  given  any  encouragement;  curates  were  not 
to  my  liking.  My  face  burned  with  indignation  and 
shame  at  the  injustice  of  the  outbreak,  while  Eex 
looked  alarmed.  It  seemed  to  me  a  greater  indignity 
could  not  have  been  perpetrated  than  this  indecent 
thrusting  of  me  at  Rex  by  my  own  parent,  were  the 
former  ever  so  willing — and  to  my  excited  fancy  he 
seemed  anything  but  that — just  then.  Eex  was  about 
to  speak — utter  a  protest,  I  supposed — when  I  inter 
rupted. 

"Father,"  I  said,  stepping  up  to  him  almost  threat 
eningly,  voice  and  form  trembling  with  outraged  emo 
tion,  "if  I  am  such  a  hindrance  and  disgrace  to  you  I 
shall  go,  but  I  will  never  marry  Rex.  Had  such  an  idea 
ever  existed  with  him,  you  have  this  afternoon  put  it 
entirely  out  of  my  power  to  comply.  Another  thing, 
you  shall  not  choose  for  me  my  path  in  life.  From 
infancy  you  have  shown  your  entire  lack  of  affection 
for  me.  This  action  is  but  one  more  stumbling-block 


286107 


38  PANDORA. 

in  the  way  of  good  resolutions."  I  paused  for  want  of 
breath,  not  words,  and  father  had  raised  his  arm  as 
though  to  ward  off  the  completion,  while  Rex  laid  his 
hand  upon  my  arm,  appealingly;  but  I  had  not  finished, 
and  drew  away  impatiently. 

"If  I  have  not  matured  as  you  wished,  you  have  only 
yourself  to  blame;  I  had  no  mother  to  guide  me." 

Over  my  parent's  face  a  greenish  hue  overspread  it 
self,  such  as  I  had  seen  on  previous  occasions  at  men 
tion  of  my  mother's  name,  only  worse.  He  gave  sev 
eral  successive  gasps,  and  pointing  to  a  bottle,  indi 
cated  that  Hex  should  bring  it  to  him. 

During  the  absorption  of  this  act  I  hurried  away, 
without  any  set  purpose  in  view,  excepting  to  set  as 
much  space  as  possible  between  these  two  and  myself. 
Passing  through  the  gate  I  wandered  aimlessly  sev 
eral  miles  from  home,  until  coming  to  a  large  tree  in 
the  suburbs  of  the  village,  where  I  sat  down  to  rest 
and  think  over  the  situation,  which,  in  my  highly  agi 
tated  condition,  seemed  appalling. 

^N"ear  by,  some  men  were  at  work,  preparing  the  road 
for  a  new  railway,  but  I  was  too  much  perturbed  to 
notice  the  nature  of  the  work,  and  had  turned  my 
back  to  avoid  observation, when,  without  warning,!  felt 
myself  being  suddenly  lifted  from  the  ground.  An- 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  39 

other  moment  and  I  was  being  rapidly  and  unceremo 
niously  conveyed,  without  any  pause,  over  several  hun 
dred  yards  of  ground  by  a  pair  of  sturdy  male  legs, 
then  quite  as  suddenly  landed  upon  terra  firma  again 
by  my  strange  kidnapper,  who  at  its  termination  stood 
panting  and  exhausted  from  the  exertion  before  me, 
too  much  out  of  breath  to  explain,  even,  and  I  had 
not  regained  my  own  scattered  senses  sufficiently  to 
utter  a  protest,  when  a  deafening  crash,  like  a  loud 
bolt  of  thunder,  came  from  where  the  now  safely  lo 
cated  men  had  been  working. 

A  grayish  pallor  for  an  instant  overspread  my  com 
panion's  face,  then  disappeared,  and  drawing  a  long 
breath  of  relief,  with  clasped  hands  and  eyes  upraised 
to  heaven,  he  said  fervently,  as  though  communing 
with  himself,  "Heaven  be  praised,  for  we  barely  es 
caped  it." 

"Escaped  what?"  I  demanded  angrily,  and  giving 
him  an  indignant  look.  "I  would  like  to  know  the 
meaning  of  all  this,  and  of  what  earthly  use  my  legs 
are  if  I  may  not  be  permitted  to  use  them." 

He  regarded  me  meditatively  a  moment,  then  draw 
ing  nearer  said  seriously,  mopping  the  while  great 
beads  of  perspiration  from  a  brow  which,  now  that  the 
habitual  color  had  returned  to  it,  was  not  much  less 
red: 


40  PANDORA. 

"Little  girl,  we  had  no  time  for  ceremony.  I  just 
happened  to  notice  you  at  almost  the  last  moment, 
and  it  is  well  I  did,  for,"  looking  down  upon  me  from 
his  superior  height,  with  crossed  arms  and  an  expres 
sion  of  reverent  admiration  upon  his  face,  "had  I  not 
seen  you  when  I  did,  I  much  fear  your  folks  would 
not  even  have  had  the  poor  consolation  of  your 
burial." 

A  shudder  passed  over  him  as  he  spoke. 

"Did  you  not  know  my  men  were  blasting?"  he 
asked,  this  time  with  the  slightest  shade  of  petulance 
in  his  tone,  born  of  my  indifference  and  the  sneer  upon 
my  lips,  which  in  turn  had  been  called  forth  by  his  al 
lusion  to  my  people. 

"If  you  doubt  the  danger  you  were  in,"  he  said  im 
patiently  when  I  shrugged  my  shoulders,  "just  look 
there,"  pointing  to  the  spot  from  which  he  had  car 
ried  me. 

I  looked,  and  in  spite  of  myself  also  shuddered,  for 
the  huge  tree  had  been  literally  torn  up  by  its  roots, 
leaving  an  immense  hole  in  the  ground  beside  which, 
all  unconscious  of  impending  danger,  I  had  rested. 

"We  both  regarded  the  spot  in  awed  silence  for  tfre 
space  of  a  minute.  I  was  the  first  to  break  it. 

"Would  it  have  been  a  very  painful  death?"  mus- 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  41 

ingly,  with  my  eyes  bent  now  in  half  regretful  interest 
upon  the  spot. 

Something  in  my  tone  and  demeanor  caused  him  to 
shift  his  gaze  quickly  to  my  face  again.  For  a  mo 
ment  he  studied  me  intently. 

"Painful?"  he  asked,  as  though  not  quite  sure  he 
had  understood  me,  and  then — 

"Well,"  musingly,  "perhaps  not  exactly  that.  Cer 
tainly  not  so  much  for  you  as  for  those  who  would 
suffer  by  your  loss,  for  I  don't  believe  you  yourself 
would  have  known  exactly  what  had  happened  to  you; 
but,"  absently,  "may  I  sit  down  beside  you?  That 
run  has  shortened  my  breath." 

I  could  not  well  refuse  him  a  seat  beside  me  upon 
the  mound,  after  having  saved  my  life,  and  although 
not  in  any  humor  for  entertaining,  acquiesced. 

"Well,"  I  said,  after  he  had  placed  himself  beside 
me,  "I  suppose  I  ought  to  have  been  very  grateful  to 
you  for  having  saved  my  life  at  the  risk  of  your  own, 
but,"  with  a  half  passionate,  and  wholly  miserable 
quaver  in  my  voice,  "if  the  pain  as  you  say  would  have 
been  little  to  myself,  let  me  assure  you  you  have  after 
all  accomplished  little,  for  there  is  not  a  creature  upon 
earth  who  would  suffer  by  my  sudden  taking  off." 

It  was  not  usual  for  me  to  confide  my  affairs  to 


42  PANDORA. 

anyone,  much  less  a  stranger,  but  I  had  to  say  some 
thing  to  him,  and  even  this  slight  inference  relieved 
the  strain  upon  me. 

His  eyes,  which  had  been  fastened  upon  mine, 
seemed  to  have  gathered  from  the  intentness  of  the 
gaze,  their  mist. 

"Why,  how  is  this,  little  girl?"  he  asked  in  perplex 
ity,  and  scrutinizing  me  even  more  closely.  "You  not 
cared  -for?  You  not  caring  to  live?  It  hardly  seems 
possible,"  dubiously,  and  yet  devoid  of  coquetry. 

He  took  one  of  my  hands  which  hung  listlessly  by 
my  side  in  his,  stroked  it  once  in  a  fatherly,  reassur 
ing  fashion,  then  laid  it  gently  down  again,  afterward 
dropping  his  head  meditatively  in  both  palms. 

I  did  not  answer,  but  moved  petulantly  a  little  away, 
and  tapping  my  foot  nervously  upon  the  green  sward, 
wished  he  would  go. 

"Are  your  folks  poor  ?"  he  queried  hesitatingly,  and 
carefully  studying  me  again  from  head  to  foot;  but 
there  was  nothing  in  my  appearance  which  would  in 
dicate  either  poverty  or  affluence. 

From  a  highly  educated  person,  I  would  have  re 
sented  such  a  pointedly,  personal  question,  but  he  did 
not  seem  to  come  under  that  heading  exactly,  and  the 
tone,  and  whole  demeanor,  were  far  from  impudent, 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  43 

besides  I  had  to  excuse  much  under  the  circumstances. 

"Poor  and  unappreciative,"  I  answered,  now  that 
the  "ice  wias  broken." 

He  looked  sympathetic,  and  after  a  still  closer  scru 
tiny  of  my  features  this  time  said,  less  insinuatingly 
than  questioningly: 

''Well,  I  should  think  there  would  be  plenty  of 
young  men  in  your  neighborhood  glad  to  relieve  them 
of  such  a  burden." 

"It  seems  not,  for  I  am  still  in  the  market,"  I  an 
swered  evasively,  and  a  little  amused,  in  spite  of  my 
self. 

The  reply  appeared  to  puzzle  him  considerably. 
For  about  five  minutes  he  remained  silent;  during 
which  time  he  seemed  to  be  looking  into  my  very  soul. 
I  was  becoming  annoyed  and  uneasy  under  the  pres 
sure,  when  he  suddenly  asked  in  as  ordinary  a  tone 
as  though  he  were  inquiring  into  my  nationality: 

"Are  you — your — parents1 — respectable  ?" 

I  laughed  immoderately  at  this.  It  struck  me  in 
such  a  peculiar  light;  but  he  was  strangely  serious. 
And  I  had  begun  to  think  him  quite  as  much  of  a 
curiosity  as  he  evidently  regarded  me.  Upon  regain 
ing  composure  I  set  his  mind  at  rest  upon  that  point 
at  least,  by  revealing  my  identity,  adding  cynically, 


44  PANDORA. 

"If  respectability  is  the  principal  requisite  of  a  Chris 
tian  father  and  minister,  I  am  to  be  envied." 

He  appeared  much  relieved  at  the  information. 
He  said  he  knew  my  father  well  from  hearsay,  intro 
ducing  himself  unostentatiously  as  Donald  Macdonald, 
a  railway  contractor,  and  informed  me  he  only  in 
tended  remaining  in  the  village  long  enough  to  super 
intend  the  most  intricate  portions  of  the  work,  after 
which  business  called  him  to  San  Francisco,  in  Cali 
fornia.  He  enlarged  upon  his  reluctance  to  go  so  far 
away  from  home,  dwelling  particularly  and  regretfully 
upon  his  prospective  loneliness  among  strangers. 
Then  relapsing  once  again  into  silence,  took  another 
long  and  careful  survey  of  my  face. 

Mr.  Macdonald's  name  and  history  were  quite  fa 
miliar  to  me.  The  son  of  a  humble  farmer,  not  five 
hundred  miles  from  where  I  lived,  he  had,  through  his 
own  exertions,  amassed  quite  a  fortune.  He  was  con 
sidered  the  most  proficient  man  in  his  line  in  the  coun 
try,  and  stood  well  in  the  community.  Never  before 
having  seen  him  I  returned  the  scrutiny  with  interest. 

He  was  a  well-built  man  of  between  thirty  and  thir 
ty-five  years;  of  generous  dimensions,  but  clumsy 
movements;  florid  complexioned,  and  red  bearded.  He 
was  arrayed  in  a  conspicuous,  ill-fitting  suit  of  home- 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  45 

spun  plaid,  while  a  tie  of  brilliant  sky  blue  adorned 
his  collarless  neck.  Long,  red-topped  boots  and  a 
huge  straw  hat  completed  the  outfit. 

Having  completed  the  examination  to  his  evident 
satisfaction  he  moved  a  trifle  nearer. 

I  drew  my  hand  away,  fearing  he  would  again  take  it 
in  his,  but  he  did  not  appear  to  notice  the  motive, 
being  wholly  absorbed  in  his  own  thoughts. 

"Miss  Delaney,"  he  began,  a  trifle  nervously,  and 
there  was  a  worried  look  in  his  eyes.  "I  feel  that  you 
are  in  trouble  of  some  sort.  I  have  never  been  used  to 
womenkind,  apart  from  my  mother,  never  even  hav 
ing  had  a  sister,  and  my  efforts  at  sympathy  may  seem 
clumsy  to  you,  but  I  mean  to  be  kind.  Is  it  some 
thing  you  can  tell  me?  Perhaps  there  might  be  a 
way  in  which  I  could  be  of  service  to  you,  if  you  will 
but  trust  me." 

He  looked  appealingly  down  into  my  face  with  such 
a  genuine  kindly  look  of  interest  and  sympathy  for  me, 
so  totally  different  from  anything  I  had  ever  before 
experienced,  that  my  overwrought  nerves  yielded  to 
the  pressure  brought  to  bear,  forcing  the  unbidden 
tears  to  my  eyes,  and  I  barely  escaped  giving  way  com 
pletely. 

Noting  my  discomfiture  and  desperate  efforts  at  com- 


46  PANDORA. 

posure,  he  bent  his  eyes  with  forced  intentness  upon 
his  boots,  until  I  had  succeeded  in  assuming  a  different 
attitude,  then  inquired  solicitously  if  he  might  not  see 
me  safely  to  my  father's  roof,  adding  judiciously  that 
the  late  shock  had  probably  unnerved  me,  and  that  I 
would  feel  better  once  at  home. 

I  declined  his  offer,  flushing  guiltily,  for  I  had  enter 
tained  no  idea  of  returning,  and  his  persistence  forced 
me  to  confess  it. 

"Will  you  not  be  friendly  enough  with  me  to  con 
fide  your  plans  then,"  he  begged. 

I  was  becoming  annoyed  under  the  catechism. 
Then  the  afternoon  was  advancing  and  I  wanted  time 
to  make  them. 

"I  have  none,"  I  answered  doggedly.  "Had  you 
continued  with  your  work  and  left  me  to  my  medita 
tions,  matters  might  have  adjusted  themselves  satis 
factorily." 

"Miss  Delaney,"  he  said,  kindly,  but  firmly,  "you  are 
too  young  to  talk  in  that  way.  I  know  not  your  trou 
ble,  but  if  I  am  not  much  mistaken  I  do  know  it  is 
nothing  serious,  and  that  the  world  still  holds  a  great 
deal  for  you." 

He  endeavored  his  utmost  to  persuade  me  to  re 
turn,  and  there  was  something  about  his  reasoning 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  47 

which  soothed  and  quieted  me,  so  I  found  it  almost 
a  relief  to  confide  in  him  as  to  my  uncongenial  home 
surroundings.  Indeed,  I  was  almost  myself  again  in 
all  but  my  determination  not  to  return.  But  as  I 
progressed,  I  noticed  his  face  grew  longer,  his  efforts 
lessened,  then  ceased. 

He  finally  rose  to  his  feet,  paced  back  and  forth  in 
front  of  me  a  minute  or  so  in  deep  meditation,  then 
abruptly  took  his  seat  beside  me  again. 

I  wondered  what  was  coming,  for  he  looked  much 
as  a  tender-hearted  person  would  who  Had  found  a 
maimed  kitten  and  wanted  to  dispose  of  it  to  the  best 
possible  advantage  to  itself.  I  was  not  long  in  doubt. 

"Miss  Delaney,"  he  began  again,  without  further 
preliminaries,  "do  you  think  you  could  be  content  to 
marry  a  big,  awkward  fellow  like  myself,  and  go  with 
him  to  the  Pacific  Coast?  You  are  not  rich,  and  un 
happy,  I  know;  while  I  at  least  have  means,  and  can 
gratify  your  whims,  which  is  something,  I  suppose,  to 
a  young  girl.  I  am  not  a  university  graduate  nor  yet 
a  society  man,  but  I  will  do  my  utmost  to  make  you 
happy.  It  is  said,  you  know,  that  a  good  son  will 
make  a  kind  husband;  and  I  think  my  folks  will  verify 
the  former,  if  you  can  trust  to  the  latter.  I  pledge 


48  PANDORA. 

you  my  word  I  will  do  my  duty  by  you."  He  again 
bent  his  eyes  upon  his  boots. 

To  say  I  was  surprised  would  not  begin  to  express 
my  amazement.  I  was  dumbfounded.  Rendered  in 
capable  of  speech  for  a  minute.  The  dynamite  ex 
plosion  of  a  short  space  previous  sank  into  insignifi 
cance  beside  it.  Yet,  and  notwithstanding  the  de 
pressed  condition  of  my  mind,  I  could  not  help  seeing 
the  ridiculous  side  of  the  situation. 

To  me  there  was  something  almost  ludicrous  in  thisl 
great,  rough  fellow's  business-like  proposal  of  mar 
riage,  without  the  slightest  pretense  of  a  declaration 
of  love,  and  after  the  brief  acquaintanceship  of  about 
three-quarters  of  an  hour.  But  if  he  was  business 
like,  I  had  been  rendered  so  through  force  of  circum 
stances,  and  after  indulging  in  a  little  laughter  at  the 
situation — much  to  his  disgust — a  reaction  set  dn.  Re 
membering  the  threat  before  leaving  my  father  and 
Rex,  I  realized  the  humiliation  of  my  position  should 
I  return  and  consent  to  one  or  other  of  his  terms.  To 
permit  Rex  to  sacrifice  himself  to  me  upon  the  altar 
of  sympathy  would  be  my  life-long  degradation,  while 
earning  my  own  Irving  would  be  slow  suicide.  I  was 
not  of  the  new  woman  type,  that  could  stand  up  like 
a  man  and  battle  with  emergencies.  Then  what 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  49 

should  I  do?  Here  was  someone  who  had  come  to  my 
rescue,  and  at  a  most  opportune  moment.  Not  to  my 
liking — Ah!  no.  I  shuddered  to  think  of  him  in  the 
capacity  of  a  husband;  but  able,  and  willing  to  keep 
me  in  affluence,  and— yes,  that  seemed  a  great  deal  to 
me,  who  had  always  longed  for  luxuries  and  admira 
tion.  I  chuckled  to  myself  almost  fiendishly  at  the 
thunderbolt  it  would  be  to  my  father,  upon  learning 
the  astounding  news  of  my  unconventional  courtship, 
and  'hasty  marriage  to  a  man  without  refinement,  edu 
cation,  or  social  position,  knowing  he  had  elevated 
ideas  regarding  these  things.  Then  in  my  present 
humor,  the  thought  of  having  opposed  him  lent  new 
zest. 

"Miss  Delaney,"  my  companion  said,  in  half  chid 
ing,  half  pleading  accents,  and  breaking  in  upon  my 
apparently  ill-timed  mirth  and  accompanying  reverie, 
"this  is  no  subject  for  jest.  If  the  proposition  is  dis 
tasteful  to  you,  it  will  be  no  unkindness  to  say  so  now, 
but  in  'heaven's  name  spare  me  the  pain  and  humilia 
tion  of  learning  it  later,  for  if  I  once  become  fond 
of  anyone,  I  love  them  to  the  death." 

I  scarcely  heard  him,  for  by  this  time  I  had  actu 
ally  begun  to  think  seriously  of  the  proposal,  since  he 
was  willing  to  make  me  his  wife,  not  that  he  loved 


50  PANDORA. 

me  or  would  expect  it  in  return,  but  because  of  my 
beauty,  which,  was  something  he  could  be  proud  of, 
and  lavish  his  gold  upon.  A  fine  gem  requires  a  fine 
setting.  He  would  exult  in  my  beauty — I  do  it  full 
justice  with  his  gold. 

Finally,  and  to  my  own  unbounded  surprise,  I  ac 
quiesced,  on  condition  he  would  marry  me  secretly  and 
without  delay.  It  seemed  the  best  way  out  of  my  diffi 
culties,  but  I  wanted  the  affair  consummated  before  I 
had  time  to  think,  and  leave  immediately  after  the 
ceremony. 

He  demurred;  such  undue  haste  did  not  coincide 
with  his  ideas  of  the  proprieties.  But  the  fever  of 
unrest  was  upon  me.  The  atmosphere  of  my  na 
tive  village  seemed  stifling.  I  could  not  breathe.  I 
must  spread  my  wings,  somewhere,  anywhere,  only  to 
be  away.  The  suggestion  suited  my  humor,  and  in 
fear  of  its  rejection,  so  near  consummation,  I  became 
like  one  deranged. 

Forgetful  of  the  fact  that  my  present  trouble  was 
due  to  a  humiliation  forced  upon  me  by  another,  I 
plunged  into  a  still  deeper  one  myself.  I  begged  him 
to  make  me  his  wife,  and  immediately. 

I  firmly  believe  he  wished  himself  well  out  of  the 


WITHOUT  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  51 

affair,  but  either  through  pity  or  some  strange  mag 
netic  influence,  he  seemed  powerless  to  resist. 

Accordingly  it  was  arranged  the  ceremony  should 
be  performed  forthwith,  in  a  neighboring  town,  after 
which  I  was  to  leave  alone  for  San  Francisco,  there 
to  await  my  husband  until  he  should  have  performed 
the  arduous  task  of  informing  my  people  of  our  union, 
and  business  permitted  his  joining  me. 


CHAPTEE  V. 

WITH  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS. 

"Inconstant  to  the  crowd 

Thro'  which  I  pass,  as  to  the  skies  above, 
The  fleeting  summer  cloud 

But  not  to  thee,  oh,  not  to  thee,  dear  love." 

After  the  puritanical  existence  of  a  cold  Canadian 
village,  life  in  the  great  metropolis  of  the  Pacific  Coast 
was  to  me  like  the  transformation  of  a  creeping  cater 
pillar,  long  confined  in  a  chrysalis  state,  into  a  soar 
ing  butterfly. 

I  had  youth,  beauty,  and  spent  money  with  a  lavish 
hand  in  the  fashionable  hotel  where  it  had  pleased  my 
husband  to  secure  apartments  for  me.  They  asked  no 
other  credentials,  extending  to  me  the  utmost  courtesy 
— the  men,  in  honor  of  my  beauty;  the  women,  for 
fear  of  it.  I  was  feted,  flattered,  caressed,  and  sought 
after,  until  there  was  scarcely  a  moment  I  could  call 
my  own. 

This  cosmopolitan  city,  with  its  peculiar  climatic 
changes,  and  gaiety-loving  people,  and  its  near  prox 
imity  to  various  smaller  towns,  of  semi-tropical  beauty, 
(53) 


54  PANDORA. 

profuse  in  fruit  and  flowers,  from  its  very  novelty,  held 
a  strange  fascination  for  me,  and  as  though  moving  in 
an  elysium  dream,  I  gave  myself  up  to  the  intoxicating 
influence  of  the  present,  in  maddened  efforts  to  obliter 
ate  a  disappointed  past. 

Picnics,  parties,  theaters,  luncheons,  balls;  my  days 
and  nights  were  one  ceaseless  carnival,  and  at  the  end 
I  would  fling  myself  down  exhausted  upon  my  couch, 
only  to  renew  the  attack  upon  the  following  morning, 
with  the  fervor  of  one  who  has  his  race  upon  earth  to 
run,  and  would  accomplish  it  at  the  most  rapid  gait 
possible,  without  any  thought  of  the  goal,  for,  what 
is  excitement,  after  all,  but  a  wearying  of  the  flesh,  a 
straining  of  one's  nerves  to  tfie  highest  tension,  only 
to  discover  one's  energies  and  self-respect  upon  a  pre 
mature  decline?  Yet  I  thought  I  enjoyed  my  part  in 
this  new  drama  of  life.  It  was  gratifying  to  suddenly 
find  myself  a  bright,  particular  star  in  this  old  com 
pany  of  actors,  whose  personalities  or  performances 
held  little  interest  for  me,  excepting  as  a  necessary  ad 
junct  to  draw  out  my  own  attractions. 

The  typical  San  Francisco  woman  affects  lusterless, 
blonde  hair,  is  pretty,  wears  her  clothes  well,  pro 
nounces  duty  like  "dooty,"  drives  fast  horses  as  well 
as  her  husband,  and  drinks  wine — of  local  vintage — as 


WITH  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  55 

other  women  do  water.  The  latter  habit  may  be  ex 
plained  by  an  inherited  antipathy  she  possesses  to 
"foreign  matter,"  as  is  frequently  evinced  in  the  sup 
ply  of  the  other  quality  from  the  "Spring  Valley  "Water 
Company."  The  former — home  product— has  the  very 
"material"  effect  of  an  increased  avoirdupois,  which  to 
the  "Native  Son,"  however,  is  "immaterial."  Its  in 
dulgence  may  also  account  for  a  peculiar  faculty  she 
possesses  of  being  able  to  talk  a  great  deal,  without  say 
ing  anything.  „ 

The  Native  Son  is  deficient  in  quantity,  and  western 
in  quality;  wears  a  soft  felt,  broad  brimmed  hat,  and 
a  business  aspect  upon  all  occasions.  The  former  most 
noticeable  in  the  close  confines  of  an  elevator  in  the 
presence  of  ladies;  the  latter,  if  one  has  the  opportunity 
of  meeting  him  at  a  social  gathering,  but  he  is  genial 
and  generous.  They  seemed  happy  and  contented  in 
each  other's  society,  and  believing  myself  lacking  in 
proper  appreciation,  I  endeavored  to  adapt  myself  to 
circumstances  and  be  one  with  them.  The  result  re 
called  my  efforts  once  when  a  lonely  child  to  assume 
the  poise  and  gambles  of  a  litter  of  kittens,  in  order  to 
put  the  feftne  family  at  their  ease  with  me,  and  I  felt 
compelled  to  seek  refuge  again  behind  my  own  indi 
viduality. 


56  PANDORA. 

Generous  checks  were  frequently  forwarded  me  by 
my  husband,  which  I  promptly  cashed,  but  no  word 
came  either  from  home  or  himself,  although  nearly  a 
month  had  passed  since  my  departure.  The  silence 
perplexed  and  worried  me,  as  I  was  intensely  eager  to 
learn  how  the  news  of  my  marriage  had  been  received. 
I  wanted  Rex  to  understand  my  happiness  did  not  de 
pend  upon  him,  and  my  father  to  realize  the  error  he 
had  made  in  thus  cheapening  me;  yet  in  contradiction 
to  it  all  I  was  dreadfully  homesick,  and  during  my  few 
hours  of  respite  would  find  myself  living  over  with  Rex 
again  the  blissful  last  weeks  passed  in  his  society,  before 
that  rude  awakening.  At  the  thought  of  this  latter  I 
would  feel  grateful  to  Mr.  Macdonald  for  having  agreed 
to  release  me  from  the  bondage  of  a  single  woman  in 
Canada  and  giving  me  the  liberty  of  a  married  woman 
in  California,  and  I  would  plunge  deeper  Into  a  sea  of 
amusement  with  the  apparent  enthusiasm  of  a  debu 
tante,  but  in  reality  experiencing  only  the  dry,  flounder 
ing  sensation  of  a  whale  in  shallow  water,  surrounded 
by  smaller  specimens  of  the  "finny"  tribe,  thoroughly 
immersed  themselves,  and  contented  because  in  their 
own  element.  •* 

But  one  morning  the  same  mail  brought  me  two  let 
ters — one  from  Mr.  Macdonald  and,  strange  to  say,  the 


WITH  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.  57 

other  in  the  familiar  handwriting  of  Rex.  My  first 
impulse  was  to  throw  the  latter  into  the  grate-fire  un 
opened,  for  what  motive  could  have  prompted  him  to 
write  excepting  to  apologize  for  having  raised  my 
hopes?  If  he  should  have  done  that,  I  should  loath 
both  him  and  myself.  I  put  it  reluctantly  away,  and 
directed  my  attention  stoically  to  opening  the  other, 
a  huge,  yellow  envelope,  with  one  large  sheet  of  loosely 
written,  ruled,  paper. 

It  began— "Dear  Wife." 

I  could  go  no  further.  It  brought  back  too  vividly 
the  cold  reality  of  my  position.  I  could  not  always 
live  on  undisturbed,  in  an  enchanted  palace,  like 
Psyche.  I  had  sold  myself  to  the  highest  bidder.  Oh! 
Why  had  he  written  by  the  same  mail  as  Eex!  I  flung 
it  impatiently  away,  where  it  fell  into  the  waste  basket, 
unnoticed  and  forgotten;  then  half  unconsciously 
breaking  the  seal  of  the  other,  I  read — 

"Loved  and  Lost: 

"Although  it  suits  me  at  this  moment  to  address 
you  so,  I  cannot  realize,  nor  do  I  believe,  the  latter. 
Oh,  Pandora!  can  it  be  possible  you  have  gone  out 
of  my  life,  in  this  strange,  inexplicable  manner  ? 

"My  brain  seems  in  a  perfect  whirl;  my  mind  in  such 
a  state  of  chaos,  I  can  hardly  recall  the  incidents  of  that 


58  PANDORA. 

dreadful  day.  I  only  know  you  are  married,  and  your 
father— but  forgive  my  selfishness  if  I  do  not  dwell  up 
on  that  now,  and  of  course  he — I  cannot  say  your  hus 
band — has  told  you  the  details  in  full.  I  was  too  un 
nerved  to  write  before,  and  even  now  the  effort  unmans 
me.  I  am  only  buoyed  up  with  the  knowledge  that  you 
love  me,  as  I  love  you.  Do  not  start,  dear.  I  saw  it 
in  your  eyes  the  day  your  father  gave  you  to  me,  and 
had  you  not  been  so  impetuous,  I  would  have  taken 
you  in  my  arms,  and  asked  his  blessing,  but  I  was 
dazed  with  my  happiness,  and  detained  from  following 
you  in  your  flight  by  that  other  calamity.  How  could 
I  know,  before  the  sun  went  down,  you  would  be  the 
wife  of  another?  You,  my  proud,  imperial  queen, 
married,  and  to  such  a  man ! 

"Pandora,  it  was  no  marriage.  You  were  given  to 
me.  By  all  the  laws  of  love,  nature,  and  a  just  Heaven, 
you  are  mine.  I  am  the  Epimephius  for  whom  you 
were  fashioned,  and  I  will  never  believe  it  otherwise. 
Like  your  namesake  you  held  a  casket;  it  contained  all 
our  happiness,  all  our  ambitions;  you  allowed  them  to 
escape ;  hope  alone  remains,  and  in  that  hope — my  very 
life.  Oh,  darling!  I  cannot  live  without  you.  Beneath 
the  shelter  of  the  'Stars  and  Stripes'  we  can  yet  be  one, 
and  I  will  begin  life  anew.  This  is  all  that  remains  for 


WITH  ORANGE  BLOSSOMS.   .  59 

me.  You  cannot  now  doubt  my  love,  for  it  means  so 
much — the  loss  of  friends,  relatives,  home,  inheritance, 
and  country. 

"Without  this  I  have  nothing  for  which  to  live. 
"In  feverish  expectancy—- 

"Yours, 

"REX." 

The  letter  slipped  idly  from  my  fingers  into  my  lap, 
and,  closing  my  eyes  upon  my  present  surroundings,  I 
gave  myself  up  to  a  delightful  reverie,  repeating  over 
and  over  to  myself  the  passionate  passages  I  had  read 
— lingeringly,  lovingly,  like  one  parting  with  those 
dearest  to  him  on  the  eve  of  their  execution,  for  one 
more  glimpse  of  my  magnificent  misery  would  be  con 
vincing  proof  of  the  great  gulf  separating  me  from 
the  one  love  of  my  life.  Oh,  why  had  this  impossible 
food  of  Tantalus  been  placed  within  my  reach!  I  could 
have  borne  hunger  and  thirst  stoically  to  the  end,  feel 
ing  I  had  in  some  way  merited  the  displeasure  of  the 
gods,  but  to  have  it  offered  me  and  then — Oh,  Rex, 
why  did  you  hold  out  this  temptation  to  me? 

I  could  have  worshiped  you  but  for  this.  It  was 
unworthy  of  you,  and  I  did  not  deserve  it.  Was  not 
my  marriage  legal?  Then  how  dare  he  make  such  a 
proposition  ? 


60  PANDORA. 

In  the  intensity  of  my  emotions  I  had  risen,  and  was 
nervously  pacing  the  floor,  my  steps  growing  more 
rapid  as  my  excitement  increased. 

Passing  the  mirror  I  caught  a  glimpse  of  my  face. 
The  habitual,  statuesque  paleness  had  left  it;  a  bright, 
red  spot  burned  in  either  cheek.  I  thought  my  eyes 
unusually  bright,  and  wild.  Surely  I  was  insane,  or 
another  face  was  reflected  in  the  mirror  near  my  own, 
the  sweet,  sad  one  of  Mrs.  Neville,  a  fellow-boarder 
who  dined  at  the  same  table  with  myself. 


CHAPTER  VI. 
"STARS  AND  STRIPES." 

"The  shade  by  which  my  life  was  crost, 
Which  makes  a  desert  in  the  mind, 
Has  made  me  kindly  with  my  kind, 
And  like  to  him  whose  sight  is  lost" 

Immediately  I  was  upon  the  defensive ;  no  one,  not 
even  Mrs.  Neville,  should  guess  my  secret.  When  the 
letter  arrived  I  had  been  making  my  toilette  for  break 
fast.  Luxuriant  masses  of  hair  hung  unconfined  like  a 
glistening  mantle  about  my  pale  blue  dressing-gown. 
I  pinned  them  quickly  into  a  Psyche  knot,  and  turning, 
faced  her  in  my  own  imperious  manner,  with  a  cold 
questioning  look. 

She  was  a  resident  of  • ;  a  widow,  all  sup 
posed,  as  she  invariably  wore  black,  and  seldom  at 
tended  places  of  amusement. 

Apart  from  that  we  knew  nothing,  excepting  that 
she  was  universally  beloved,  and  had  gained  the  name 
of  the  "angel  of  peace/'  from  the  enviable  faculty  she 
possessed  of  being  able  to  smooth  over  any  little  diffi 
culties  which  might  arise  among  the  boarders. 

(61) 


62  PANDORA. 

From  the  first  moment  of  meeting  I  had  been 
strangely  drawn  towards  Mrs.  Neville,  and  she  appeared 
more  than  interested  in  me,  but  I  had  never  felt  quite 
at  ease  with  her.  Those  dreamy  blue  eyes  would  follow 
me  about,  with  a  searching  melancholy  wistfulness  in 
their  depths,  as  though  they  would  pierce  into  the 
innermost  recesses  of  my  heart's  secret. 

"Pardon  this  intrusion,  dear,"  she  said.  "I  missed 
you  from  the  dining-room,  and  came  to  make  inquiries. 
You  did  not  answer  my  knock,  and  fearing  something 
was  wrong  I  took  the  liberty  of  entering  uninvited. 
Why,  you  are  ill,  child,"  taking  my  face  between  her 
hands  in  alarm.  "You  are  feverish;  let  me  help  you 
back  to  bed,  and  have  some  breakfast  sent  to  you.  No  ? 
Well,  then,  I  shall  help  you  to  dress;  no,  don't  object 
because  I  mean  to  assert  my  authority.  What  beauti 
ful  hair  you  have.  Sit  down  here  and  I  shall  dress  it 
for  you.  What,  you  doubt  my  ability?  We  shall  see." 

She  went  about  it  all  so  quietly,  and  with  such  grace 
ful  tact,  it  seemed  impossible  to  resist  her,  nor  did  I 
care  to  do  so.  Like  a  tired  child  I  sank  back  into  the 
divan  she  had  placed  for  me,  and  gave  myself  up  to 
the  magic  of  her  fingers,  which,  as  they  worked,  seemed 
to  exercise  a  soothing  effect  upon  my  brain  and  over 
wrought  nerves. 


"STARS  AND  STRIPES."  63 

"How  did  you  learn  such  an  artistic  touch  ?"  I  asked, 
carried  away  with  admiration  of  her  skillful  white 
fingers.  Without  intending  it  I  had  awakened  bitter 
memories.  Sighing  she  said — 

"Ah,  dear,  that  is  part  of  my  life  history  which  I 
have  never  unfolded  to  anyone;  the  others  in  the  house 
are  such  a  happy,  careless  party,  they  could  not  appre 
ciate  it,  but  I  will  tell  you,  for,  although  you  are  too 
young  to  have  suffered  much,  I  feel  there  is  a  bond  of 
sympathy  between  us.  Well,"  she  began,  going  more 
slowly  to  work,  "I  was  at  one  time  maid  to  my  hus 
band's  sister.  He  was  not  my  husband  then,  of  course, 
but  we  met  often,  and  became  infatuated  with  each 
other.  I  felt  myself  quite  his  equal  socially,  for  I  was 
well  born,  though  poor,  and  highly  educated;  so  when 
he  asked  me  to  become  his  wife,  I  had  no  thought  of 
objecting,  because  his  parents  might,  and  we  married, 
gaining  the  enmity  of  his  whole  family.  Outhbert  was 
threatened  with  disinheritance  if  he  did  not  imme 
diately  consent  to  have  the  marriage  annulled  upon  the 
plea  of  undue  influence  having  been  brought  to  bear  to 
coerce  him  into  the  union.  He  laughed  them  to  scorn, 
for  it  was  a  pure  love  match.  I  cared  nothing  for  their 
money,  and  he  seemed  perfectly  willing  and  glad  to 
work  for  me. 


64  PANDORA. 

"Two  lovely  children  were  born  to  us — a  boy  and  a 
girl — and  all  went  well,  until  one  day  a  letter  came  to 
us  here  in  San  Francisco,  where  we  were  living,  from 
his  old  home.  'His  father  was  dying;  would  he  bring 
the  children,  and  be  reconciled?' 

"Having  perfect  confidence  in  my  husband,  and  not 
wishing  to  appear  vindictive  to  his  parents,  I  urged 
him  to  go,  helping  my  darlings  pack.  "We  clasped 
each  other  in  a  long  embrace,  and  they  reluctantly  left. 
I  have  never  seen  them  since.  A  few  weeks  later  he 
issued  divorce  proceedings  against  me  for  incompati 
bility  of  temper — incompatibility  of  temper,  when  a 
cross  word  had  never  passed  between  us. 

"They  had  weaned  him  from  me.  I  had  no  money 
to  contest  the  case;  there  was  nothing  left  me  but  to 
abide  by  the  decision  of  the  courts,  which  went  against 
me  by  default.  I  was  even  deprived  of  the  custody  of 
the  children,  but  was  awarded  alimony  voluntarily  as 
a  balm.  I  accepted  it,  for  I  was  very  strictly  brought 
up  as  regards  the  marital  tie,  although  an  American, 
and  consider  htm  still  my  husband.  Were  he  in  reality 
otherwise,  I  should  scorn  to  accept  it.  If  he  married 
again,  I  should  be  justified  in  getting  a  divorce  myself, 
but  not  till  then.  None  but  those  who  have  passed 
through  such  experiences  can  realize  the  intensity  of 


"STARS  AND  STRIPES."  65 

my  grief,  for  I  was  a  devoted  wife  and  mother.  I  could 
not  live  in  our  beautiful  little  home,  where  everything 
reminded  me  of  my  loss,  so  I  sold  all  and  moved  here, 
choosing  this  hotel,  because  one  day  a  strange  thing 
happened.  An  odd  little  letter  came  from  my  boy  in 

• .  'It  was  not  papa's  fault/  he  wrote;  'when 

grandpapa  died  they  would  all  come  back/  That  was 
two  years  ago  and  grandpapa  still  lives;  so  do  I  live 
on  and  wait,  and  hope  they  will  yet  return,  for  I  still 
believe  Cuthbert  loves  me. 

"There,"  she  said,  giving  a  finishing  touch  to  her 
work,  and  trying  to  be  cheerful.  "I  have  wound  my 
tale  of  woe  into  the  coils  of  your  hair.  I  hope  it  won't 
make  you  unhappy,  child,"  noting  my  serious  face. 

"Unhappy!"  It  did  not  seem  possible  I  could  be 
more  so  than  I  was;  and  yet  in  a  measure,  her  greater 
grief  had  diminished  mine. 

It  was  my  first  practical  experience  of  the  unstable- 
ness  of  the  marriage  ceremony  in  "Uncle  Sam's"  do 
main,  and  made  a  profound  impression  upon  me.  It 
would  have  been  an  intense  relief  to  have  thrown  my 
self  into  her  arms  and  wept  for  both  our  woes,  as  I 
realized  how  much  we  could  be  to  each  other,  but  I 
could  not  even  find  words  of  comfort  for  her. 


66  PANDORA. 

"Then  you  do  not  belie  vein  this  severing  of  the  mari 
tal  tie  upon  every  pretext?"  I  asked,  with  an  eagerness 
which  must  have  shown  itself  upon  my  countenance, 
for  I  had  a  great  regard  for  her  judgment. 

"No,  indeed  I  do  not,"  she  replied  with  earnestness, 
leaving  no  doubt  in  my  mind  as  to  her  opinion.  Then 
after  a  slight  pause  she  said:  "As  I  said  before,  I  am 
an  American,  and  a  loyal  one,  and  for  that  very  reason 
regret  the  more  the  terrible  blot  these  divorce  laws, 
with  their  attendant  miseries,  make  upon  the  escut 
cheon  of  our  fair  country."  As  she  spoke  she  slipped 
a  breakfast  shawl  I  had  selected  over  my  head,  care 
fully  adjusting  its  folds  about  my  figure. 

"Do  you  believe  any  man  could  respect  a  woman 
who  would  divorce  herself  from  a  husband,  and  consent 
to  marrying  him  because  of  a  greater  preference?"  I 
queried,  turning  my  back  to  her,  presumably  to  ar 
range  the  lace  about  my  throat,  ostensibly  to  conceal 
my  features  from  her  solicitous  gaze. 

"I  do  not  see  how  he  could."  she  said,  "and  believe 
in  the  Bible,  where  we  are  strictly  enjoined  against 
such  things.  One  may  excuse  one's  self  behind  the 
American  laws,  but  only  at  the  sacrifice  of  G-od's." 

My  first  question  surprised  her;  the  second  seemed  to 


"STARS  AND  STRIPES."  67 

throw  a  new  light  upon  her  regarding  me.  She  made 
a  sudden  move  as  though  to  draw  me  towards  her,  then, 
as  if  chilled  by  my  unresponsive  exterior,  withdrew  in 
perplexity. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

AN   AFFAIR   OF   THE   HEART. 

"Oh,  we're  sunk  enough  here,  God  knows! 

But  not  half  so  sunk  that  moments, 
Sure,  tho'  seldom,  are  denied  us 

When  the  spirit's  true  endowments 
Stand  out  plainly  from  its  false  ones, 

And   apprise  it  of   pursuing 
Or  the  wrong  way  or  the  right  way 

To  its  triumph  or  undoing." 

After  breakfast  I  went  in  search  of  a  Bible,  and 
turning  to  the  alphabetical  index  searched,  and  took 
note  of  the  following  texts: 

Matthew,  v  Chap.,  xxxii  verse. 

Matthew,  xix  Chap.,  ix  verse. 

Luke,  xvi  Chap.,  xviii  verse. 

I  Corinth.,  vii  Chap.,  x  verse. 

Mark,  x  Chap.,  xi  and  xii. 

Then  transferring  them  clearly  to  a  sheet  of  paper,  I 
signed  my  name,  "Pandora  Macdonald,"  and,  by  way 
of  postscript,  wrote  with  cruel  decision1 — 

(CI  am  not  the  heathen  my  baptismal  name  would 
imply,  or  you  would  have  me  think." 

(69) 


70  PANDORA. 

This  I  mailed  to  Kex,  and  when  it  had  gone  I  en 
deavored  to  solve  the  problem,  what  should  I  do  with 
my  life?  My  days  and  nights  were  full,  but  of  nothing 
but  emptiness.  As  the  physician's  prescription  fails  to 
have  the  desired  effect  when  oft  repeated  without  an  in 
crease  of  the  dose,  so  might  I  find  alloyed  amusement 
insufficient  to  drown  a  chronic  grief.  Something  was 
needed  to  take  me  entirely  out  of  myself. 

A  faint  fragrance  of  cigarette  smoke  reached  my 
nostrils,  followed  simultaneously  by  a  familiar  tattoo 
upon  the  door,  and,  without  waiting  for  a  summons, 
Mrs.  Beverly  Smart,  another  of  the  boarders,  entered. 
She  patronized  me  a  great  deal  of  late  for  reasons  be 
yond  my  comprehension,  as  it  was  generally  under 
stood  she  was  no  favorite  of  mine,  but  at  this  moment 
I  was  glad  of  any  diversion. 

Dropping  unceremoniously  into  the  nearest  chair, 
with  a  lighted  cigarette  poised  expertly  between  the 
second  and  third  fingers  of  her  right  hand,  she  made 
known  her  mission. 

"We  are  going  to  have  a  Bacchante  supper  to-night," 
she  said,  "and  some  of  the  men  have  deputed  me  to 
invite  you."  She  flipped  an  ash  from  her  extinguished 
cigarette,  and  striking  a  match  in  the  orthodox  manner 
continued,  between  puffs,  and  with  the  air  of  one  who 


AN  AFFAIR  OF  THE  HEART.         71 

expected  and  would  prefer  a  negative  reply.  "Of 
course  you  know  they  are  conducted  upon  the  'go  as 
you  please'  order,  and  might  shock  an  overscrupulous 
person,  but/'  in  an  apologetic  tone,  "they  are  the  best 
thing  in  the  world  to  cure  the  'blue  devils/  and  Beverly 
has  been  becoming  so  horribly  suspicious  lately  over 
nothing,  and  watching  me  so  closely,  I  don't  believe 
anything  short  of  champagne  or  benedictine  would 
bring  me  to  a  proper  frame  of  mind.  How  do  you  feel 
about  it?"  she  asked,  throwing  both  legs  over  an  arm 
of  the  chair  in  the  utter  abandon  of  one  whose  position 
is  assured,  but  born  more  of  a  desire  to  shock  me  to 
the  utmost  limit;  then  coolly  surveying  me  she  awaited 
the  effect  of  it  all. 

At  that  time  it  seemed  Mrs.  Beverly  Smart  could 
not  have  appeared  in  a  more  disparaging  light;  a 
bold  antithesis  to  Mrs.  Neville,  with  whom  I  had  lately 
parted,  but  I  felt  piqued  at  the  latter,  because,  like  all 
I  loved,  she  had  misunderstood  me.  I  was  at  the  stage 
when  it  would  be  a  relief  to  smash  a  window  or  do  harm 
to  something  or  somebody,  and  in  a  humor  to  be  ex 
asperated  at  Mrs.  Beverly  Smart's  anticipation  of  my 
rejection.  Perhaps  the  same  impulse  which  prompted 
me  to  torture  the  fleet-winged,  once-treasured  butter 
flies,  when  a  wild,  rebellious  child,  made  me  accept  with 


72  PANDORA. 

avidity  now  this  invitation  to  the  Bacchante  revel, 
which  I  knew  would  be  displeasing  to  both  Mrs. 
Neville  and  Mrs.  Smart,  though  from  different  points 
of  view. 

"What  do  I  think?"  I  echoed,  changing  my  recum 
bent  position  among  a  nest  of  pillows,  for  the  first  time 
since  her  entrance,  and  looking  her  defiantly  in  the 
face.  "I  think  I  shall  go;  I  need  a  complete  change." 

Mrs.  Beverly  Smart  was  a  woman  of  motives;  there 
was  a  firm  purpose  in  each  step  she  took,  a  fixed  re 
solve  in  every  action.  I  saw  her  plans  had  been  upset; 
it  was  my  turn  to  await  results.  For  an  instant  she 
looked  discomfited,  but  quickly  rallied  her  forces. 

"Do  you  really  mean  it?"  she  said,  giving  me  a  fur 
tive  glance  out  of  her  piercing  black  eyes,  and  throwing 
her  cigarette  away  in  order  to  bend  all  her  energies  to 
the  point  at  issue.  "Well,"  compressing  her  lips 
tightly,  "I  always  thought  you  were  a  fool  not  to  take 
more  advantage  of  your  opportunities.  With  all  the 
men  in  love  with  you,  and  no  one  to  interfere,  you 
ought  to  be  happy."  I  winced  at  this  latter  reminder. 
It  was  not  comforting  to  feel  no  living  soul  thought 
sufficiently  of  me  to  care  how  I  conducted  myself. 
<cEut  then,"  she  continued,  eyeing  me  anxiously,  "you 
don't  have  any  regular  affair.  Why  don't  you  have  an 


AN  AFFAIR  OF  THE  HEART.         73 

affair,  Mrs.  Macdonald?  It  lends  an  interest  to  life." 
She  made  the  suggestion  almost  pleadingly,  while  I 
was  nonplussed. 

"Oh,  you  know  what  I  mean,"  impatiently;  "choose 
a  good  subject  for  a  flirtation,  and  make  it  an  object 
to  interest  yourself  in  him  particularly.  There  is 
Beverly,  for  instance;  you  have  often  expressed  your 
admiration  for  him,  as  well  as  your  amazement  at  my 
supposed  indifference.  It  is  ridiculous  to  expect  a 
woman  to  exhibit  infatuation  for  her  husband  publicly, 
or  that  he  should  be  tagging  after  her  heels  wherever 
she  goes,  but  I  can  forgive  you  all  this,  and  more  if," 
coaxingly,  "you  will  only  bestow  some  special  favors 
upon  my  husband.  Just  sufficient  to  occupy  his 
thoughts,  and  make  him  happier;  he  thinks  so  much  of 
you.", 

"Will  Mr.  Smart  be  there  to-night?"  I  asked,  trying 
to  veil  the  disgust  I  felt. 

"Beverly  at  the  Bacchante  revel?"  laughing  hilar 
iously,  "Oh,  dear!  no;  either  he  or  I  will  have  to  re 
main  away,  and  I  think  it  more  than  likely  to  be  he," 
giggling.  "It  was  that  I  was  worrying  about.  I  hate 
to  leave  him  alone  because — " 

"And  Mr.  Ferrars.     Is  he  going?" 


74  PANDORA. 

It  was  her  turn  to  wince;  she  was  intensely  enamored 
of  this  Mr.  Ferrars,  who  in  his  turn  annoyed  me  by 
persistent  attentions  to  the  exclusion  of  Mrs.  Beverly 
Smart  when  I  was  present,  while  her  devoted  husband, 
whom  all  but  herself  held  in  the  highest  esteem,  ob 
served  her  growing  infatuation  and  grew  thin  with  ap 
prehension. 

I  had  discovered  Mrs.  Smart's  objective  point,  but 
she  should  not  score  it.  "Greek  would  meet  Greek." 

"Yes,  he  will  be  there,  but  why  do  you  ask?"  she  in 
quired  sneeringly,  scenting  design  in  the  query. 

"Because/'  I  replied  in  my  most  suave  tones,  "I  have 
been  seriously  considering  your  proposition.  I  will 
not  disguise  the  fact  that  I  am  deeply  interested  in 
your  husband,  and  would  even  go  out  of  my  way  to  do 
him  a  favor;  formerly  I  have  been  the  same  with  all, 
but  it  does  not  quite  fill  my  life,  and  if  you  thought  he 
would  appreciate  it — " 

"Of  course  he  will  appreciate  it,"  she  interrupted, 
somewhat  perturbed  by  my  unusual  earnestness;  "but 
what  has  Sydney  Ferrars'  going  or  coming  to  do  with 
it?"  with  a  sinister  laugh. 

"Because  I  am  anxious  to  do  a  service." 


CHAPTEE  VIII. 

AN  AFFAIR  WITHOUT  HEART. 

"There  are  flashes  struck  from  midnight, 

There  are  fire-flames  noondays  kindle, 
Whereby  piled   up   honors   perish, 

Whereby  swoln  ambitions  dwindle, 
While  just  this  or  that  poor  impulse 

Which  for  once  had  play  unstifled, 
Seems  the  sole  work  of  a  lifetime 

That  away  the  rest  have  trifled." 

The  midnight  moon,  peeping  for  a  brief  moment 
through  the  blinds  of  our  banqiiet-hall  that  night, 
quickly  concealed  its  face  behind  the  nearest  cloud,  and 
did  not  appear  again,  for  the  Bacchante  revel  was  at 
its  height. 

It  was  a  select  assemblage.  A  fortnightly  gathering 
of  some  of  the  city's  fairest  women,  and  most  favored 
men,  drawn  together  with  the  common  interest  of 
drinking  to  the  one  present  from  whom  a  tangled 
skein  of  matrimony  temporarily  divided  tHem,  and 
drowning  dull  care  in  the  ''bumper";  a  club  in  which 
an  understanding  existed  that  each  participant  or 
member  suffered  from  an  "affection  of  the  heart/'  the 
cure  of  which  one  other  member  alone  could  effect,  and 

(75) 


76  PANDORA. 

whose  strictest  rule  was  the  prohibiting  of  any  lawful 
partner  from  participating. 

This  was  the  uncertain  port  into  which  my  frail 
bark,  driven  hither  and  thither,  without  sail  or  ballast, 
upon  the  sea  of  adversity,  sought  shelter.  Instead  of 
trusting  to  some  favorable  wind  exerting  its  benign 
influence,  and  drifting  me  happily  on,  I  preferred 
taking  desperate  chances  through  treacherous  rocks, 
having  faith  in  my  ability  to  steer,  and  at  the  worst, 
sure  destruction,  oblivion,  seemed  preferable  to  a  tor 
turing  uncertainty.  Besides  I  consoled  myself  for  the 
foolhardy  venture  by  the  thought  that  I  had  an  object 
in  view — that  of  making  another  happy.  In  the  deep 
water,  vainly  endeavoring  to  regain  shore,  I  could  see 
the  despairing  face  of  Beverly  Smart — Beverly  Smart 
to  whom  I  was  strongly  attached  because  of  his  strong 
resemblance  to  my  brother  Leo,  both  in  appearance 
and  personality;  and  if  there  was  a  being  upon  earth 
whom  I  idolized  in  my  own  peculiar  way  it  had  been 
Leo.  If  I  came  that  way  I  might  restore  to  Beverly 
Smart  his  wife.  The  end  might  justify  the  means. 

It  was  a  vision  of  bewildering  splendor  that  met  my 
novice  eyes.  The  air,  sweet  with  the  fragrance  of 
flowers,  intoxicated  me.  Dreamy  strains  of  soft,  sen 
suous  music,  invisible,  entrancing,  stole  upon  my  ear.  I 


AN  AFFAIR  WITHOUT  HEART.  77 

was  dazed  by  the  flash  of  myriad  lights,  and  the  sparkle 
of  many  jewels  upon  the  women,  who,  grouped  about 
in  many  poises  and  places,  elegantly  arrayed  in  all  the 
shades  of  the  Orient,  and  relieved  by  the  dark  dress 
suits  of  the  men  interspersed  among  them,  added  rich 
ness  and  animation  to  the  scene. 

Conveying  what  it  did,  my  arrival  was  the  signal  for 
a  burst  of  applause.  Almost  every  glass  was  refilled, 
raised,  and  drunk  to  the  guest  of  the  evening.  The 
reception  was  gratifying.  I  closed  my  eyes  like  one 
dazed,  and  upon  reopeniDg  them  found  a  more  sub 
dued  light  had  superseded  the  late  illumination,  which 
appeared  more  consistent.  I  stood  as  though  spell 
bound,  not  knowing  whether  to  relinquish  myself  to 
surrounding  influences  or  retire  once  more  into  dark 
ness,  for  it  seemed  should  I  remain,  something  I  could 
never  regain  would  go  out  of  my  life. 

A  sudden  dizziness  came  over  me,  I  had  passed 
through  so  much  that  day;  perhaps  I  reeled  slightly, 
for  in  an  instant  half  a  dozen  of  the  men  hurried  to 
my  side,  one  of  whom  held  to  my  lips  a  glass  of  wine, 
of  which  I  drank  eagerly,  and  revived,  feeling  no 
longer  any  scruples  about  remaining.  A  glow  of  hap 
piness  thrilled  my  whole  being.  The  clouds  in  my  life 
rolled  away,  showing  me  the  world  in  a  roseate  hue, 


78  PAXDORA. 

while  I  chattered  and  laughed  gayly  to  a  knot  of  ad 
mirers  in  the  exuberance  of  my  spirits,  and  the  same 
state  of  beatitude  prevailed  throughout  the  entire  as 
semblage  more  or  less. 

Upon  entering  I  had  observed  Mrs.  Beverly  Smart, 
elegantly  arrayed  in  an  amber  silk  robe,  lounging 
luxuriantly  upon  a  divan  in  a  secluded  corner  of  the 
room,  partially  screened  by  an  accomodating  palm 
and  attended  by  two  of  her  most  favored  followers. 
One  of  the  men  waved  a  fan  back  and  forth  as  an  ex 
cuse  to  linger;  the  other,  Sydney  Ferrars,  held  her 
whole  attention.  These  three  were  the  only  ones  of 
the  party  who  had  not  appeared  to  notice  my  arrival, 
and  when  Mrs.  Smart  did  look  up  she  displayed  both 
surprise  and  chagrin.  It  was  evident  after  all  she  had 
not  expected  a  confirmation  of  the  acceptance. 

I  thought  of  poor  Beverly  Smart's  sorrow,  and 
beamed  radiantly  upon  his  wife's  partner,  which 
brought  him  instantly  to  my  side,  and  the  venom  to 
her  piercing  black  eyes,  growing  more  intense  as  the 
night  wore  on  and  his  preference  for  my  society  in 
creased. 

Her  gaze  made  me  uncomfortable,  but  I  assured 
myself  I  had  come  there  for  a  purpose;  to  retract 
would  be  to  acknowledge  myself  a  Bacchante.  As  for 


AN  AFFAIR  WITHOUT  HEART.         79 

Mr.  Ferrars,  he  was  in  a  state  of  wondering  exuber 
ance  over  my  unusual  and  unlimited  condescension, 
which  former  later  in  the  evening  gave  place  to  quiet 
possession  of  me,  while  others,  conceding  to  him  the 
right,  relinquished  all  claim. 

The  Bacchantes  assumed  much,  but  had  no  special 
code  of  etiquette  upon  their  evenings,  and  when  Mr. 
Ferrars  asked  me  to  dance  for  the  sixth  time,  I  saw  no 
other  alternative,  but  in  order  to  keep  up  my  declining 
strength  felt  forced  to  accept  a  sixth  glass  ol  wine  also. 

A  delicious  languor  stole  over  me;  surely  no  other 
danced  like  Mr.  Ferrars.  I  seemed  to  be  moving  in 
the  clouds  to  the  rhythm  of  low,  distant  music  and 
honeyed  words. 

Then  we  paused  to  rest.  I  was  faint — at  least  he 
made  me  believe  it  was  so — and  in  order  to  prevent 
my  falling  it  was  necessary  to  keep  one  arm  still  about 
me,  but  no  one  paid  any  particular  attention  to  us;  all 
were  in  different  stages  of  delirious  delight  themselves. 
Even  Mrs.  Smart's  "soul"  soared  far  above  me.  Did  I 
dream,  or  was  she  not,  in  competition  with  several 
others,  a  dozen  or  more,  endeavoring  to  extinguish  the 
chandelier  lights  with  the  toe  of  her  right  foot,  while 
many  more  looked  on,  showing  their  appreciation  of 
the  "fe[e]at"  by  laughter  and  loud  applause?  All  so 


80  PANDORA. 

interested  as  to  pass  unnoticed  another  scene  being 
enacted  in  the  corridor  outside.  The  sound  of  a  firm, 
determined  voice  demanding  admittance  in  the  face  of 
strong  opposition.  A  shuffling  of  feet,  the  falling  of 
heavy  bodies,  a  forcing  open  of  the  door,  and  in  our 
midst  stood  a  stalwart,  plainly  attired  man,  staring  in 
speechless  horror  and  amazement  at  the  whole  per 
formance,  while  the  assembly,  all  unconscious  of  the 
interruption,  waxed  riotous. 

It  is  doubtful  to  what  extremes  they  might  not  have 
departed  under  the  influence  of  Bacchus,  their  favored 
god,  had  not  one  of  the  number  noticed  the  intruder 
and  given  the  alarm,  when  as  though  by  magic  the 
sport  took  another  turn.  A  shout  of  derision  went  up 
at  the  unusual  spectacle,  passing  from  throat  to  throat, 
until  it  reached  my  companion,  who,  becoming  also  af 
fected,  added  three  cheers  for  the  "hayseed."  They 
begged  him  to  participate  in  tones  of  mock  entreaty, 
and  with  ironical  solicitation  implored  the  address  of 
his  barber  and  tailor,  but  ventured  no  further.  Some 
thing  in  the  stranger's  face  and  bearing  warned  them 
there  was  a  limit  to  his  powers  of  endurance,  though 
one  little  coquette,  accustomed  to  being  made  much  of, 
creeping  insinuatingly  toward  him,  grasped  one  of  the 
large,  labor-stained  hands  in  her  two  white,  jeweled 


AN  AFFAIR  WITHOUT  HEART.  81 

ones,  claiming  him  as  a  partner  in  the  next  waltz.  He 
put  her  gently,  but  firmly,  from  him,  drawing  his  much 
despised  clothing  aside  as  though  fearing  further  con 
tamination,  while  the  others  who  forced  his  recogni 
tion  he  rewarded  by  a  glance  of  sympathetic  scorn. 
His  business  was  not  with  them. 

From  my  retired  corner  I  had  witnessed  the  whole 
by-play,  but  not  participating  excepting  to  rivet  my 
gaze  upon  the  newcomer  from  the  moment  of  his  en 
trance  in  a  dreadful  fascination,  wishing  the  while  a 
few  boards  in  the  floor,  parting,  would  let  me  through, 
then  forever  conceal  me.  Though  only  once  seen,  that 
face  was  strangely  familiar. 

Several  times  his  keen  eyes  swept  past  me,  scanning 
anxiously  every  secluded  place,  then  with  unwilling 
credulity  rested  upon  myself  and  companion. 

Partially  realizing  my  position,  I  wrenched  myself 
from  the  latter's  grasp,  attempting  to  rise,  but  stag 
gered,  and  was  only  prevented  from  falling  by  the  new 
comer's  strong  arm,  which  I  sulkily  allowed  to  lead  me 
away  amid  the  claps  and  cheers  of  my  confreres,  who 
thought  it  an  admirable  piece  of  acting  upon  my  part, 
while  I  was  at  a  stage  to  resent  the  slightest  error. 

It  was  difficult  to  know  just  then  which  humiliated 
me  most,  my  connection  with  them  or  him,  but  the 


82  PANDORA. 

slurs  thrown  upon  the  latter  by  the  former,  and  the 
dignified  spirit  in  which  they  were  taken,  even  in  my 
irresponsible  condition,  quickly  made  me  realize  their 
inferiority.  I  was  ashamed  of  my  connection  with  him 
among  a  people  whom  I  knew  regarded  exterior  ap 
pearance  of  paramount  consideration,  and  yet  filled 
with  mortification  at  even  my  own  minor  part,  in  the 
presence  of  one  who,  though  of  rough  exterior,  at  least 
bore  an  unblemished  character,  and  meekly  submitted 
to  the  proffered  shelter  of  his  great  coat,  as  a  shelter 
from  the  curious  gaze  of  onlookers,  which  latter  now 
recognizing  his  superiority,  either  of  strength  of  char 
acter,  muscle,  or  both,  permitted  his  exit  without 
further  molestation. 

As  he  hurried  me  into  a  carriage  under  the  glare  of 
an  electric  light,  with  half -closed,  glowering  eyes,  I 
glanced  furtively  at  the  face  of  the  man  to  whom  but 
one  month  previous  I  had  so  strangely  allied  myself. 
It  was  crimson  with  the  shame  I  had  brought  upon  him, 
but  in  the  kindly,  limpid  eyes  no  anger  gleamed;  only 
the  utmost  pity  for  my  weakness. 

I  hated  him  for  it.  Why  did  he  not  upbraid  me, 
that  I  could  answer  in  kind — tell  him  that  he  should 
have  taken  time  to  see  if  there  were  possible  flaws  in 


AN  AFFAIR  WITHOUT  HEART.         83 

his  apparently  priceless  pearl?  But  then,  how  could 
he?  The  gem  had  been  thrust  upon  him.  I  covered 
my  burning  face  with  both  hands  to  shut  out  the 
thought;  then  at  sound  of  his  voice  dropped  them 
quickly  again,  facing  him  defiantly.  After  all,  what 
had  I  done  that  was  so  dreadful?  Let  him  dare  re 
sent  it! 

"We  had  driven  several  blocks  without  even  so  much 
as  an  attempt  at  greeting,  when  my  reverie  was  sud 
denly  interrupted  by  my  companion. 

"Girl,"  he  said,  his  voice  trembling  with  suppressed 
emotion,  and  evincing  the  first  show  of  spirit,  "was  it 
not  enough  that  you  should  disgrace  me,  and  bring 
low  the  respected  name  of  my  good  old  father  ?  Could 
you  not  have  put  off  your  'devil  dance'  until  your  own 
poor  father  was  cold  in  his  grave,  or  at  least  be  ready 
to  welcome  your  husband  when  he  wrote  you  he  was 
coming?" 

"When  he  wrote" — the  fault,  then,  of  this  inop 
portune  arrival  and  consequent  disclosure  was  mine. 
What  a  fool  I  had  been  not  to  read  his  letter.  He 
must  have  left  for  California  immediately  after;  but 
my  father  not  cold  in  his  grave — what  could  he  mean? 
Was  my  condition  such  that  I  could  not  hear  aright? 


84  PANDORA. 

My  father  was  very  much  alive — alive  to  everything 
but  my  happiness.  "Your  people,"  he  continued, 
"taunted  me  with  not  "being  your  social  equal;  all  they 
could  bring  against  me.  If  what  I  saw  to-night  is 
some  of  the  doings  of  what  you  call  the  best  society, 
then  the  best  is  the  worst,  and  I  want  neither  me  nor 
mine  in  it." 

At  last  he  had  shown  resentment.  I  was  grateful 
for  it.  Pugh!  What  did  I  care  for  his  opinion  of  my 
set  or  of  me  either,  for  that  matter.  I  hated  them 
also — hated  him,  everyone  who  had  been  instrumental 
in  separating  me  from  Eex.  I  wanted  satisfaction 
now,  revenge  on  those  who  had  blighted  my  life. 

So  my  high  and  mighty  relatives  did  not  take  kindly 
to  the  alliance!  This  much  I  understood,  and 
chuckled  inwardly,  then  outwardly,  gleefully,  immod 
erately,  while  my  husband  looked  on  in  wondering 
trepidation.  I  felt  a  trifle  more  generously  disposed 
toward  him  for  having  been  the  means  of  causing  them 
discomfiture,  and  having  subsided  somewhat,  unmind 
ful  of  the  thrusts  I  had  received,  could  not  refrain 
from  putting  the  question  to  him: 

"But  my  father;  tell  me  how  he  received  the  news." 

He  stared  at  me  a  moment  in  blank  amazement,  then 


AN  AFFAIR  WITHOUT  HEART.  g5 

seeming  to  realize  my  ignorance,  lack  of  discernment, 
or  something  else,  his  demeanor  changed. 

"Then  you  did  not  get  my  letter?"  he  said,  leaning 
toward  me  anxiously,  but  with  more  hope.  "Poor 
girl,  I  am  afraid  I  have  been  cruelly  harsh  with  you, 
and  I  am  not  one  to  break  bad  news,  at  the  best,  but 
you  must  know.  Your  father  never  heard  of  our  mar 
riage;  he  died  before  it  took  place."  He  had  taken 
possession  of  my  hand  at  the  last  and  there  was  a  sym 
pathetic  quaver  in  his  voice. 

Perhaps  I  did  not  realize  in  my  then  nervous  condi 
tion  the  full  purport  of  his  words,  for  some  way  the 
pressure  of  his  fingers  seemed  more  awful,  and  I  re 
member  experiencing  a  feeling  of  disappointment, 
which  held  precedence  over  everything,  and  helped  to 
irritate  me. 

"Don't  touch  me,"  I  almost  screamed,  wrenching 
mine  away,  and  retreating  to  the  farthest  corner  of  the 
cab.  Then  sullenly,  but  a  trifle  more  subdued,  "I  did 
get  your  letter,  but  never  took  the  trouble  to  read  it, 
and  what  difference  does  it  make,  anyway?"  almost  in- 
audibly.  "I  am  no  more  fatherless  than  I  have  ever 
been ;  he  is  no  more  dead  to  me  now  than  I  have  al 
ways  been  to  him.  'I  should  be  sorry,'  did  you  say? 


86  PANDORA. 

So  I  am — sorry  that  he  could  not  have  lived  to  see  the 
brilliant  career  he  marked  out  for  me."  I  laughed 
ironically,  savagely,  and  having  once  begun,  found  it 
quite  impossible  to  stop — laughed  and  cried  in  turn, 
until  I  seemed  to  lapse  into  a  state  of  semi-uncon 
sciousness. 


CHAPTEE  IX. 
MORE  "STRIPES." 

"A  soul  exasperated  in  ills  falls  out  with  every 
thing—itself,  its  friend." 

A  few  weeks  after  the  events  just  recorded  I  awoke 
one  day  to  a  consciousness  that  I  had  been  very  ill  from 
that  date,  and  was  still  helplessly  weak.  The  first  ob 
ject  that  met  my  gaze,  after  emerging  from  a  comatose 
condition  was  Mrs.  Neville,  flitting  noiselessly  about, 
administering  unostentatiously  to  my  comfort.  Quick 
ly  discovering  an  improvement  in  her  patient  she 
glided  to  my  side,  and  kissing  me  upon  the  forehead 
expressed  gratification  at  my  recovery  from  a  danger 
ous  illness. 

I  could  feel  the  warm  tears  trickle  down  my  face  as 
an  indication  of  sincerity,  and  experienced  a  sense  of 
comfort  in  her  presence;  but  as  the  days  wore  on  I 
thought  I  gained  discernment  with  strength,  and  no 
ticed  the  tears  lay  very  close  to  her  eyes  at  all  times, 
try  as  she  would  to  repress  them  and  appear  calm.  I 
felt  her  nerves  or  strength1 — perhaps  both — had  been 
(87) 


88  PANDORA. 

overtaxed  by  constant  attendance  upon  me,  and  in 
sisted  upon  a  cessation  of  the  servitude. 

"I  am  unfortunate/'  I  said  with  bitterness,  "in  hav 
ing  but  one  friend  in  need,  even  though  that  one  has 
been  a  host  in  herself";  and  I  took  occasion  to  thank 
her  for  all  she  had  done  for  me.  "But  if  those  who 
ought  to  be  most  interested  in  me  will  not  defray  the 
expenses  of  a  nurse,  I  shall  certainly  not  impose  upon 
your  good  nature  any  longer." 

The  beautiful  eyes  filled  with  tears  as  she  begged 
me  not  to  dismiss  her,  assuring  me  her  services  had 
been  trifling  compared  with  that  of  one  other,  who  was 
even  more  interested,  notwithstanding  my  insinuations 
to  the  contrary.  There  was  a  slight  reproach  in  her 
tone,  which  although  I  recognized,  did  not  make  me 
feel  I  was  in  error. 

"Oh,  how  you  wrong  him,  Mrs.  Macdonald,"  she  con 
tinued.  "He  and  I  together  have  watched  by  you  in 
cessantly;  we  would  not  trust  you  with  a  nurse,  and 
never  have  I  seen  such  devotion  in  my  life  or  such  un 
selfishness  or  solicitude  displayed  by  human  being  be 
fore.  During  my  close  acquaintance  with  him  while 
you  raved  and  tossed  in  the  unconsciousness  of  deliri 
um  I  had  every  opportunity  of  watching  his  character 
closely,  and  have  learned  to  reverence  him  as  one  of 


MORE   "STRIPES."  89 

the  noblest  of  God's  creatures.  Oh,  Mrs.  Macdonald," 
clasping  me  closely  in  the  earnestness  of  her  appeal, 
"do  not,  I  beg  of  you,  as  you  value  your  future,  spurn 
the  love  of  this  true  man  for  one  who  has  already 
displayed  sufficient  weakness  to  endeavor  to  sway  you 
from  the  right  path,  and  might  yet  fail  in  your  expec 
tations.  You  wonder  how  I  have  learned  your  se 
cret?"  for  I  had  started  in  consternation.  "You  did 
not  know  in  your  delirium  your  poor,  sad,  little  life's 
history  was  laid  bare,  and  my  heart  bled  for  the  sorrow 
I  could  not  heal;  but  remember,  dear,  we  are  very  apt 
to  over-estimate  anything  difficult  in  the  attaining,  and 
undervalue  that  lightly  won.  Perhaps,  had  the  path 
to  Eex  Hilborne  been  strewn  with  flowers,  you  would 
have  cast  him  aside  as  lightly  as  many  others.  Since 
your  return  to  consciousness  Mr.  Macdonald's  natural 
delicacy  has  alone  prevented  him  from  seeing  you  until 
summoned.  It  only  remains  for  you  to  give  him  that 
permission,  and  he  will  be  in  an  elysium  of  delight,  and 
in  time  you  will  learn  to  love  him  as  he  deserves." 

While  she  recounted  his  virtues  I  remained  passive; 
it  was  only  in  keeping  with  Mrs.  Neville's  character  to 
speak  well  of  everyone;  but,  as  ever  upon  the  alert  for 
schemes  and  plots  against  my  own  desires,  when  inter 
cessions  began  in  his  behalf  I  grew  suspicious  of  her 


90  PANDORA. 

disinterestedness,  and  disengaging  myself  from  her 
embrace  assumed  a  defiant  attitude.  I  would  resent 
any  officiousness,  even  from  Mrs.  Neville.  This,  how 
ever,  did  not  seem  to  discourage  her.  "Child,"  she 
said,  clasping  me  to  her  again  almost  painfully,  as 
though  she  would  hold  me  there  until  her  point  had 
been  gained,  "promise  me  you  will  give  up  this  false 
existence,  when  your  husband  asks  it  of  you,  and  trust 
your  future  happiness  to  his  keeping.  Let  this  be  the 
turning  point  in  your  life,  I  beseech  you,  for  my  sake, 
his,  and  your  own.  Do  not  allow  yourself  to  drift  with 
the  tide." 

I  felt  only  the  more  convinced  I  was  the  victim  of  a 
conspiracy.  Mrs.  Neville  was  only  trying  to  play  upon 
my  emotions,  while  I  was  in  a  weakened  condition,  in 
order  the  better  to  extract  from  me  a  promise  of  self- 
martyrdom,  for  why  should  a  comparative  stranger  in 
terest  herself  so  in  me  when  no  relative  had  ever  done 
it?  The  whole  thing  revolved  itself  upon  this:  Mr. 
Macdonald,  having  married  me,  was  not  going  to  have 
his  puritanical  ideas  outraged  at  any  cost,  and  had  en 
gaged  Mrs.  Neville  as  an  advance  courier.  The  almost 
idolatrous  regard  I  entertained  for  Mrs.  Neville  deep 
ened  my  chagrin  at  her  supposed  duplicity. 


MORE   "STRIPES."  91 

"Thank  you  very  much  for  your  advice/'  I  said 
haughtily,  "but  this  is  a  matter  which  Mr.  Macdonald 
and  myself  will  be  able,  when  my  health  admits  of  it, 
to  settle  to  our  mutual  satisfaction.  As  I  am  almost 
strong  enough  to  leave  my  rooms  he  will  soon  have  an 
opportunity  of  dictating  his  terms  to  me  unaided.  If 
I  don't  care  to  abide  by  them,  there  is  an  alternative 
for  either." 

The  instant  the  words  left  my  lips  I  hated  myself  for 
their  severity,  and  would  have  given  worlds  to  be  able 
to  retract  them,  even  to  the  point  of  humiliation,  but  I 
did  not  know  how. 

The  sweet  face  turned  a  shade  pinker,  and  the  dim 
pled  chin  quivered  slightly,  but  there  was  no  sign  of 
resentment.  Extending  her  hand  with  a  sad  smile  she 
said: 

"Pardon  my  presumption.  I  did  not  mean  it  as  such 
and  you  were  not  equal  to  the  strain.  I  should  have 
known  better";  then  taking  a  piece  of  folded  paper 
reverently  from  the  folds  of  her  bodice  she  laid  it  as 
reverently  beside  me  upon  the  coverlet,  remarking 
quietly,  "Perhaps  this  little  note  will  be  my  best  ex 
cuse  for  seeming  to  interfere  too  much,  and  make  you 
think  more  kindly  of  me,"  and  sighing  wearily  she  left 


92  PANDORA. 

the  room.     The  note  was  from  her  little  son — an  un 
usual  occurrence — and  read: 
"My  Own  Mamma: 

"I  am  writing  to  tell  you  we  have  a  new  mamma, 
and  I  do  not  like  her  at  all. 

"Last  night  the  governess  told  sister  and  me  we 
must  say  in  our  prayers,  'God  bless  papa  and  our  new 
mamma/  instead  of  'God  bless  papa  and  mamma/  as 
we  used  to  do.  I  stamped  my  foot,  and  went  to  bed 
without  saying  any  prayers,  but  sister  said — 

"God  bless  papa  and  our  two  mammas."  She  slapped 
sister,  and  told  papa  besides,  but  he  (papa)  only  walked 
away  quickly,  and  the  back  of  his  neck  was  awful  red. 

"When  I  get  bigger  I  am  going  to  run  away  with  sis 
ter,  and  come  to  you,  'cause  somehow  I  don't  think 
papa  will  bring  us  now. 

"Your  loving  son, 

"CUTHBERT." 

This  was  her  "cup  of  bitterness";  yet,  even  while 
draining  its  dregs  she  had  ever  a  thought  of  sweetening 
mine,  and  I  had  dashed  it  back  into  her  face.  Oh,  that 
I  had  been  gifted  with  common  sense  and  the  faculty 
of  being  able  to  appreciate  kindness,  instead  of  the 
useless  appendage  of  beauty! 


CHAPTEE  X. 

NORTHERN  BLASTS. 

"Such  clouds  of  nameless  trouble  cross 
All  night  before  the  darkened  eyes, 

With  morning  wakes  the  will  and  cries, 
'Thou  shalt  not  be  the  fool  of  loss.' " 

The  interminable  day  dragged  on,  broken  only  by 
the  arrival  of  my  doctor  and  meal  tray;  but  Mrs.  Nev 
ille  came  not. 

Toward  nightfall  I  watched  the  door  anxiously,  fev 
erishly. 

A  regretful  mood  was  upon  me.  Had  she  but  come 
then  I  felt  I  could  have  atoned  for  anything,  promised 
everything.  The  electricity  was  turned  on.  I  grew 
impatient,  nervous,  uncertain  of  her  and  of  myself; 
then  a  strange  face  appeared  at  the  door. 

"She  had  been  engaged  by  my  husband  in  the  capac 
ity  of  maid/'  she  said;  a  nurse  was  no  longer  necessary. 

"Ah  ha!"  I  reflected  in  vexation,  "Mrs.  Neville  is 
after  all  but  human;  she  resents  my  shortcomings." 
The  thought  made  me  inhuman.  I  positively  glared 
at  the  girl. 

(93) 


94  PANDORA. 

"Go/'  I  said,  "and  tell  Mr.  Macdonald  if  I  have  to 
depend  upon  servants  I  prefer  being  alone." 

The  frightened  maid  turned  to  fulfill  the  commis 
sion,  when  I  arrested  her. 

"Don't  dare  tell  him  that;  have  you  no  sense?"  I 
said  in  direct  contradiction. 

I  directed  her  to  pour  me  out  some  wine — so  much 
she  gasped  in  astonishment,  while  I  regarded  her  an 
grily;  then,  having  assisted  me  to  dress,  I  ordered  her 
away  with  instructions  not  to  return  until  called  for. 

Once  alone  again  I  turned  to  my  desk,  with  the  in 
tention  of  writing  a  note,  and  found  concealed  there — 
purposely  and  judiciously  withheld,  no  doubt,  until  a 
complete  recovery  was  assured' — a  package  of  letters. 
There  were  three,  black-edged,  and  dated  weeks  back. 
These  claimed  my  particular  attention,  recalling  a 
misty,  horrible  remembrance  in  connection  with  my 
father,  and  a  revengeful  feeling,  too  well  satiated,  made 
cruelly  real  by  Irene,  with  the  additional  comforting 
information  that  his  death  lay  at  my  door,  but  she 
hoped  the  dreadful  lesson  would  help  me  control  my 
ungovernable  temper.  In  her  grief  she  forgot  all  else, 
even  to  wish  me  happiness. 

This  was  my  second  congratulatory  letter,  and  the 
first  I  had  received  from  home,  but  in"  its  way  it  was 


NORTHERN  BLASTS.  95 

kind,  for  the  unscreened  accusation  did  much  to 
smother  any  pangs  of  conscience  I  might  have  felt. 
My  lesson  was  yet  to  come. 

Mechanically  I  broke  the  seal  of  the  next — Leo's. 
It  was  about  as  assuring. 

"Bex  had  taken  to  drink  lately,  was  neglecting  his 
profession,  and  running  through  everything.  His  par 
ents  were  distracted.  I  had  made  a  perfect  fool  of  my 
self  and  disgraced  them  all."  I  swallowed  a  rising 
lump  in  my  throat,  winked  back  a  few  truant  tears,  and 
took  one  more  long  draught  of  wine. 

The  third  was  in  a  cramped,  uneducated  hand. 
Poor,  dear,  old  Nurse  Fetterly!  how  much  I  owe  you 
for  joy  and  sorrow  in  my  life! 

"She  was  keeping  house,"  she  said,  "for  Master  Leo" 
(Leo  was  a  full-fledged  physician  now,  practicing  medi 
cine  in  our  village);  "but  how  she  longed  to  be  with 
her  baby" — meaning  myself.  She  "was  glad  I  had 
married  a  rich  man,  though  she  did  feel  awfull  sorry 
for  Master  Eex,  who  was  lookin  dreadfull;  but  now  I 
could  have  all  the  fine  close  I  wanted  to  set  off  my  good 
looks.  She  hoped  I  was  having  a  nice  time,  and  not 
pokin  round  the  house  f rettin  for  company,  and  wear 
ing  out  my  young  life  as  my  mother  did  before  me;  so 
when  a  third  baby  came  she  did  not  have  the  heart  or 


96  PANDORA. 

strength  to  hold  her  own,  but  just  died  because  she  was 
too  tired  to  live.  And/'  she  said,  "there  never  was  a 
young  creature  needed  love  and  admiration  more  than 
this  same  beautiful  mother  of  yours;  it  just  used  to 
scare  your  pa  most  out  of  his  senses  if  any  one  looked 
sideways  at  her,  just  as  though  they  were  going  to  run 
away  with  her;  acting  for  all  the  world  like  he  thought 
beauty  were  a  gift  of  the  evil  one.  And  he  crazy  and 
all  in  love  with  her  never  seemed  to  know  what  killed 
her,  because  she  never  complained,  but  just  blamed  it 
to  you."  She  "was  telling  me  now,"  she  said,  "as  I 
had  gotten  married  offhand,  and  she  had  never  had  the 
chance  to  give  me  any  motherly  advice."  ....  She 
"hoped  I  was  making  good  use  of  my  pretty  face,  as 
God  never  intended  such  beauty  as  my  mother's  and 
my  own  should  be  cooped  up  in  four  square  walls,  with 
no  one  to  admire  it." 

She  gave  me  the  first  details  of  my  father's  death. 
It  had  been  heart  disease.  He  had  died  in  Rex's  arms, 
and  just  as  the  door  closed  behind  me.  She  "had  felt 
dreadful  bad  about  his  sudden  takin  off,  but  never 
took  on  the  way  she  did  when  my  beautiful  young 
mother  died  leaving  me,  her  new  born  babe,  to  care 
for." 


NORTHERN  BLASTS.  97 

I  film  g  the  communications  of  Irene  and  Leo  disdain 
fully  into  the  grate  fire,  and  with  unsisterly  satisfac 
tion  watched  them  curl  and  writhe,  then  smolder  into 
ashes.  It  was  to  me  like  the  severing  of  all  home  ties, 
the  beginning  of  a  new  era. 

Settling  back  in  my  chair  I  reread  Nurse  Fetterly's ; 
if  less  wholesome,  it  was  at  least  more  palatable,  and 
how  refreshing  after  a  cessation  of  weeks  to  hear  once 
again  an  acknowledgment  of  my  beauty.  I  became  im 
bued  anew  with  a  longing  for  adulation;  if  I  could  not 
inspire  affection,  the  world  at  least  should  bow  to  my 
superior  external  charms.  No  one  man  should  im 
prison  me  for  his  own  selfish  whims.  My  mother's  un 
satisfied  life  and  early  death  should  be  my  talisman. 
Arriving  at  a  conclusion  of  some  sort  put  me  more  at 
ease  with  myself  and  everyone  else. 

A  few  hours  later  my  maid  appeared  in  answer  to 
my  summons.  The  continued  solitude  had  made  me 
magnanimous. 

"Bernice,"  I  said,  with  the  air  of  one  conferring  an 
unbounded  favor,  "go  tell  Mr.  Macdonald  that  1  am 
feeling  a  great  deal  stronger  to-day;  that  the  confine 
ment  indoors  is  making  me  yellow,  and  if  he  can  pro 
cure  a  good,  large,  roomy  carriage,  where  I  can  have 


98  PANDORA. 

a  seat  all  to  myself,  he  may  take  me  for  a  drive  out  to 
Golden  Gate  Park.  But  remember,  Bernice,"  I  called 
after  her  as  she  was  leaving  the  room  to  do  my  bidding, 
"he  must  come  immediately,  because  I  do  not  care  to 
be  kept  waiting." 

In  twenty  minutes  she  returned  with  "Mr.  Macdon- 
ald's  compliments;  he  was  pleased  to  hear  she  was  bet 
ter,  but  regretted  that  he  had  an  imperative  engage 
ment,  and  would  be  unable  to  accompany  her." 

I  could  hardly  believe  my  ears;  it  seemed  almost  in 
credible  that  he  whom  I  regarded  as  so  much  my  in 
ferior  should  so  depreciate  the  honor;  but  Bernice  was 
very  precise.  I  knew  there  had  been  no  error  in  the 
delivery  of  either  message. 

"Humph,"  I  muttered,  more  disconcerted  than  I 
cared  to  acknowledge.  "His  lordship  is  getting  very 
independent;  no  doubt  if  I  remain  here  a  week  longer 
he  would  forget  to  inquire  after  me."  I  fancied  I  de 
tected  a  smirk  upon  the  face  of  Bernice,  for  so  sure 
had  I  been  of  his  speedy  acceptance,  I  had  previously 
bidden  her  dress  me,  even  to  my  outside  wraps.  The 
situation  was  awkward.  I  could  not  well  ask  one  of 
my  satellites  to  accompany  me,  and  to  drive  alone 
would  look  forsaken;  there  was  nothing  left  me  but  to 


NORTHERN  BLASTS.  99 

submit  to  the  humiliation  of  disrobing  again,  knowing 
well  that  the  fault  lay  with  myself,  and  although  per 
fectly  well  aware  that  Mr.  Macdonald  had  no  engage 
ment  sufficiently  imperative  to  prevent  his  accompany 
ing  me,  and  that  Bernice  was  also  aware  of  it,  I  jotted 
down  in  my  mental  ledger  one  mark  to  his  credit. 


CHAPTER   XI. 

"LOVE  AND  WAR." 

"Oh,  which  were  best — to  roam  or  rest? 
The  land's  lap  or  the  water's  breast? 
To  sleep  on  yellow  millet-sheaves, 
Or  swim  in  lucid  shallows,  just 
Eluding  water-lily  leaves, 
An  inch  from  death's  black  fingers  thrust? 
To  look  you,  whom  release  he  must; 
Which  life  were  best  on  summer's  eve?" 

An  absence  of  but  even  a  few  weeks  from  table 
d'hote  or  other  assemblages  will  sometimes  seem  to 
produce  strange  changes  in  those  about  them,  and  we 
will  wonder  what  to  ourselves  is  a  matter  of  marvel, 
from  its  very  newness,  has  ceased  to  puzzle  others. 

This  thought  was  uppermost  in  my  mind  when 
ushered  to  a  seat  at  dinner  beside  my  husband,  upon 
the  first  appearance  in  the  dining-room  after  my  ill 
ness,  and  as  he  withdrew  it  for  me,  with  an  accompany 
ing  kind  but  dignified  greeting  and  inquiry  regarding 
my  health,  at  this  our  third  meeting,  I  could  but  stare 
from  them  to  him,  and  from  him  back  to  them  at  the 
change  that  had  taken  place  in  the  former,  but  which 
(101) 


102  PANDORA. 

appeared  to  affect  visibly  none  but  myself,  and  cogitate 
as  to  what  could  have  brought  it  about. 

The  thick  shock  of  hair  upon  both  head  and  face  had 
been  carefully  groomed,  revealing  the  fine  contour  of 
both;  not  that  of  an  Adonis  in  beauty  perhaps,  but 
showing  a  force  of  character,  which  anyone  at  all 
versed  in  physiognomy  could  not  fail  to  notice,  and  at 
tired  neatly,  without  display  or  foppishness.  Few  men 
in  the  great  dining  room  made  a  better  appearance. 
This  appeared  to  me  as  I  looked  about,  receiving  con 
gratulations  upon  my  return  to  health  from  those  near, 
smiles  and  nods  from  those  farther  away,  and  I  felt  re 
lieved,  for  I  must  confess  to  having  undergone  con 
siderable  uneasiness  about  my  husband's  entree;  not 
so  much  the  effect  anything  outr6  mignt  have  upon 
them,  as  the  consciousness  that  the  criticisms  of  some 
would  be  undisguised,  and  pride  might  provoke  my  re 
sentment.  I  noticed  he  was  quite  in  favor,  with 
out  being  able  to  comprehend  just  how  it  had  been 
achieved,  for  no  amount  of  persuasion  or  subterfuge 
could  inveigle  him  into  conversation  when  there  was 
the  slightest  loop-hole  for  escape.  He  watched  and 
listened  attentively,  without  appearing  to  do  so, 
though  a  close  observer  could  see  little  of  it  all  found 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  103 

favor  in  his  eyes.  As  for  me,  I  might  have  been  the 
waiter  at  his  side,  as  far  as  his  recognition  of  me  was 
concerned.  That,  however,  was  quite  in  order;  he  was 
but  becoming  a  "stickler"  for  etiquette. 

But  twice  during  the  meal  did  he  address  me;  once 
to  ask  if  I  cared  to  read  the  paper,  in  which  he  himself 
was  deeply  engrossed,  and  again  to  apologize  for  hav 
ing  by  accident  touched  my  foot  beneath  the  table. 

When  I  entered  those  at  our  table  were  discussing 
the  unfortunate  conditions  in  South  Africa,  and  Eng 
land's  position  with  regard  to  her.  There  were  several 
intelligent  Britons  present,  who,  in  reply  to  unfavora 
ble  comments  upon  their  country's  motives,  endeav 
ored  quietly  to  explain  the  true  situation,  comparing  it 
to  the  late  war  of  the  United  States  with  Spain,  pre 
sumably  upon  humanitarian  motives,  but  without  avail, 
for  the  average  western  American  reads  little  else  but 
the  local  papers,  which — due,  perhaps,  to  the  nearness 
of  the  presidential  election— were  strangely  one-sided 
when  considering  England's  attitude  during  their  own 
trouble.  From  this  the  conversation  diverted  to  the 
American  war,  and  criticism  of  the  Spaniard  ran  ram 
pant.  Those  immediately  interested  in  me  paused 
long  enough  to  tender  me  a  cordial  welcome,  and  then, 


104  PANDORA. 

with  the  exception  of  one  or  two,  were  drawn  again  into 
the  general  vortex. 

Our  table  was  considered  an  exclusive  one,  as  much" 
as  it  could  be  at  a  hotel,  but  I  noticed  several  unfa 
miliar  faces  which  had  taken  the  place  of  absentees 
since  my  illness,  and  in  a  cosmopolitan  city  like  San 
Francisco  it  occurred,  even  to  me,  an  international 
question  like  the  one  under  discussion  was  ill-timed, 
although  my  sympathies  were  with  the  Spaniard  if  I 
thought  about  it  at  all.  There  was  one  other  whose 
were  also,  unmistakably  a  Spaniard  himself  by  his 
complexion  and  accent,  and  his  dark,  handsome  face 
would  flush  and  then  grow  darker  at  the  free  and  ad 
verse  criticism  directed  at  his  race  by  these  outspoken 
people,  whose  large  hearts  usually  turned  toward  the 
down-trodden  and  oppressed,  but  forgot  to  feel  sym 
pathy  for  this  one  solitary  champion  of  his  country. 
To  his  way  of  thinking  Spain  also  had  her  grievances. 
"Tell  me,"  he  said,  "you  who  are  mothers,"  and  look 
ing  vainly  around  for  someone  who  was,  "if  an  outsider 
should  step  in  and  interfere  with  your  management  of 
an  unruly  child,  would  you  not  regard  it  as  a  piece  of 
presumption,  and  resent  to  the  full  bent  of  your  in 
clination  the  unwarrantable  interference  ?" 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  105 

"Certainly,"  replied  a  fellow- boarder,  jocularly, 
"even  to  sinking  a  gun-boat  of  the  'Yankey  Pigs'  in 
Cuban  waters;  let  'em  stay  at  home  and  eat  out  of 
their  own  trough."  He  was  a  man  who  never  took 
anything  seriously,  regarding  life  itself  as  a  ridiculous 
accident;  but  the  "Don"  took  it  for  deep  design,  and 
sneered  his  contempt. 

"With  regard  to  your  simile,"  another  American 
said  with  spirit,  "I  think  an  outsider  would  be  justi 
fied  in  attempting  to  restrain  the  chastisement  of  a 
child — be  he  ever  so  unruly — if  the  parents  were  in 
capable  of  managing  him  excepting  by  brute  force; 
particularly  when  the  outsider  is  next  of  kin.  The 
American  nation,  in  taking  up  the  cause  of  poor,  op 
pressed  Cuba,  was  only  acting  in  the  cause  of  human 
ity;  only  doing  what  the  whole  of  Europe  failed  to  do 
in  the  case  of  England  against  the  Transvaal,  for  fear 
of  losing  something  by  it  themselves.  Americans  are 
pleased  to  stand  alone  in  this,  by  right  of  a  large  num 
ber  of  her  citizens  having  interests  there,  and  the 
whole  world  stood  aloof,  and  wondered  if  she  would 
dare  interfere.  I  am  glad  we  did,  and  think  all  Chris 
tian  countries,  if  not  openly,  secretly  applaud  the  act." 

"That  is  the  American  way  of  putting  it,  of  course," 


106  PANDORA. 

the  "Don"  flashed  forth  again,  "but  we  and  other  coun 
tries  are  of  the  opinion  that  your  philanthrophy  was  of 
the  kind  of  which  you  now  accuse  Great  Britain  in  her 
present  contest,  and,"  he  continued  sarcastically,  "we 
could  not  of  course  he  expected  to  foresee  your  own 
wonderful  management  and  executive  ability,  espe 
cially  as  displayed  in  the  Philippine  Islands,  or  for  the 
good  of  our  people  we  might  have  been  induced  to  re 
sign  in  your  favor  long  ago." 

The  argument  was  growing  unbecomingly  warm,  and 
some  of  the  company  extremely  nervous.  I  scanned 
those  about  me  for  a  suitable  person  to  fill  in  the 
breach  and  save  us  from  further  unpleasantness,  but 
one  might  almost  as  well  have  tried  to  separate  two 
bulldogs  as  an  American  and  Spaniard  over  this  bone 
of  contention,  even  at  this  period.  I  am  sure  many 
thought  of  Mrs.  jSTeville  and  her  wonderful  tact,  wish 
ing  she  were  present.  The  contest  at  this  stage 
seemed  unequal  and  I  was  beginning  to  wish  the  Span 
iard  would  have  his  innings,  he  looked  so  much  in  need 
of  it. 

At  this  juncture  someone,  whose  identity  and  nation 
ality  were  unknown,  interposed.  His  commanding 
presence  and  personal  magnetism  immediately  com 
manded  the  respect  and  absorbed  the  attention  of  all, 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  107 

though  his  expressions  proved  distasteful  to  many,  as 
their  faces  indicated. 

"Permit  me  to  say  a  word  or  two  to  my  American 
friend  here,"  he  said,  addressing  the  last  who  had 
spoken.  "It  is  not  my  desire  to  cast  any  reflection 
upon  the  United  States  for  interfering  with  Spain,  who 
became  impoverished  and  her  strength  and  resources 
weakened  by  a  prolonged  and  discouraging  struggle 
with  her  unruly  children,  making  her  easy  prey  for  any 
country,  great  or  small,  from  whose  shoulder  she  had 
been  unfortunate  enough  to  displace  the  proverbial 
chip.  Neither  would  I  detract  from  the  supposedly 
laudable  motive  of  your  country  in  depriving  a  helpless 
kingdom  of  all  that  earth  held  dear  to  her — her  crown, 
her  throne,  her  queen.  All  made  sacred  to  them  by 
decades  of  historical  tradition  and  tender  memories, 
and  without  even  a  fighting  chance  for  the  liberty 
which  force  of  numbers  enables  the  Transvaaler  and 
Filipino  to  annoy  the  United  States  and  England  by 
prolonged  guerilla  warfare,  though  only  at  the  sacrifice 
of  the  lives  of  numerous  of  their  brave  sons.  But  the 
conditions  are  the  same.  If,  as  you  say,  England  has 
erred,  then  the  United  States  has  erred  also.  One 
country  has  as  much  right  to  make  laws  and  force 
aliens  to  abide  by  them  as  another.  It  is  Great  Brit- 


108  PANDORA. 

ain's  desire  to  not  only  further  her  own  interests,  but 
to  give  other  countries  an  opportunity  of  profiting  by 
her  hard  task  of  teaching  a  lesson  to  the  uncleanly  and 
rapacious  Boer.  An  unprogressive  race,  who  exhibit 
particularly  animosity  to  the  Catholic  and  Hebrew,  and 
in  true  'dog  in  the  manger'  manner,  deny  to  all  for 
eigners,  or  foreign  residents,  what  laziness  and  lack  of 
ambition  make  them  incapable  of  performing  them 
selves.  The  foundation  of  their  religion  being — 

"  'God  bless  me  and  my  wife, 
My  son  John  and  his  wife, 
Us  four,  no  more. 

Amen.' 

"As  I  said  before,  the  conditions  between  the  United 
States  and  Spain,  England  and  the  Transvaal,  differ 
but  little,  unless  it  be  that  your  country  acted  upon  the 
aggressive,  while  England  was  upon  the  defensive  in 
this  instance. 

"I  am  not  a  Briton,  but  I  have  lived  in  England,  and 
I  may  add  I  have  never  heard  a  disparaging  word 
against  your  country  during  all  my  residence  there." 

"Well"  remarked  the  pretty  wife  of  one  of  the 
Spaniard's  most  bitter  American  opponents  in  the  ar 
gument,  "I  don't  know  or  don't  care  anything  about 


"LOVE  AND  WAR:'  109 

the  grievances  upon  either  side,  but  there  would  have 
been  war  in  our  own  camp  if  Fred  had  enlisted." 

"I  think  war  is  just  horrid,"  pouted  another  young 
married  woman,  also  an  American,  whose  husband  was 
absent,  casting  the  while  coquettish  glances  at  the 
good-looking  Spaniard,  and  adding  only  half  jestingly, 
"if  Harry  had  gone  I  should  have  sued  for  a  divorce 
upon  the  grounds  of  desertion." 

The  Spaniard  looked  up  quickly,  and  thinking  he 
saw  a  point,  smiled  back  encouragingly. 

"Does  your  country  grant  divorces  so  easily?"  he 
asked. 

"Oh,  for  less  than  that,"  she  replied  flippantly. 

"What  nonsense,  Laura,"  her  brother  said  testily; 
"you  know  perfectly  well  such  a  thing  as  divorce  from 
a  man  who  had  gone  to  serve  his  country  would  not  be 
tolerated  in  our  courts." 

Then  followed  a  controversy  upon  the  subject  of  di 
vorce,  in  all  its  phases,  some  against,  but  the  majority 
of  Americans  present  for,  it  upon  every  possible  pre 
text,  provided  either  party  should  be  discontent  with 
his  or  her  lot.  Many  examples  were  given;  many  sad 
histories  revealed  of  sacred  vows  pledged  at  God's  al 
tar  and  broken,  only  to  be  renewed  with  other  parties 
— sometimes  scarcely  before  the  first  honeymoon  had 


HO  PANDORA. 

expired.     Heartrending  even  to  hear  were  some  of  the 
stories  told  by  nonbelievers  of  broken  homes  and  bleed 
ing  hearts,  and  sometimes  of  lifelong  regrets  for  a 
hasty  act,  which  new  ties,  induced  by  a  mere  temporary 
spirit  of  spite  and  assisted  by  a  too  lenient  magistrate, 
had  placed  beyond  recall.     There  were  instances  given 
of  children  separated  from  parents,  and  suffering  in 
consequence,  both  bodily  and  mentally,  calling  pitifully 
in  their   dying   moments  for  one  or  other  of  the  es 
tranged  ones  in  vain,  and  of  others  living  with  the 
example  of  their  parents  before  them  and  marrying 
promiscuously,  always  with  a  thought  of  the  simplicity 
of  separation  when  the  novelty  wore  off.     There  were 
murders  and  suicides  innumerable  traceable  to  this  one 
source,  and  many  other   minor    crimes   which   would 
otherwise  not  have  been  committed.     Then,  of  course, 
there  were  cases  quoted  where  divorce  was  an  absolute 
necessity,  and  others  which  warranted  a  separation, 
nothing  more. 

I  was  an  attentive  listener,  and  learned  much  of  in 
terest;  among  other  things  that  one  San  Francisco 
judge,  whose  other  distinguishing  qualities  were  length 
of  limb,  had  gained  the  enviable  ( ?)  reputation  of  being 
able  to  turn  cases  of  the  sort  off  in  court  as  rapidly  as 
a  Dutchman  could  sausages  from  his  mill,  and  that  one 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  HI 

could,  until  quite  recently,  be  remarried  the  following 
day,  if  one  so  desired,  by  the  captain  of  any  tugboat  in 
which  a  couple  chose  to  embark  for  a  day's  cruise  be 
yond  what  was  called  "The  Heads/'  returning  re 
spected  members  of  society;  and  yet  marriage  was  a 
sacrament! 

It  sounded  all  wrong,  and  yet  why  should  I,  not  yet 
out  of  my  "teens/'  set  up  my  judgment  against  older 
and  wiser  heads?  The  wealth,  wisdom,  and  influence 
of  the  country  availed  themselves  of  the  decree. 
Clergy  had  sanctioned  it,  so  these  people  said;  then,  at 
best,  life  was  so  short,  why  punish  ourselves  unneces 
sarily? 

The  Spaniard  also  listened,  aghast  but  exulting. 
His  eyes  flashed  triumphantly;  he  believed  his  hour 
had  come. 

"If  I  may  be  permitted  to  express  myself,"  he  said, 
"without  fear  of  molestation,  and  I  suppose  I  can,  as 
this  is  supposed  to  be  a  free  country,  I  should  suggest, 
in  the  name  of  humanity,  that  as  America  appears  in 
capable  of  making  her  own  laws  and  protecting  her  own 
people,  some  Christian  country  interfere  and  put  an 
end  to  all  this  suffering. 

"Of  course  I  see  these  things  through  the  eyes  of  a 
Spaniard  and  Catholic,  and  might  be  considered  out  of 


112  PANDORA. 

the  'pale'  here,  but  at  least  I  can  echo  an  American's 
sentiments,  'why  not  stay  at  home  and  eat  out  of  your 
own  trough?'  I  did  not  appreciate  his  meaning  before, 
but  there  is  no  one  who  knows  us  after  all  as  well  as 
we  do  ourselves,  and  now,  for  fear  I  should  be  consid 
ered  biased.  I  should  like  to  hear  the  representative  of 
some  other  Christian  country  express  themselves  upon 
this  subject,  if  there  be  such  here." 

The  company  looked  at  one  another  and  smiled,  but 
uncomfortably.  They  had  nothing  more  to  say,  how 
ever.  The  war  had  been  carried  into  their  own  coun 
try.  Everyone  looked  at  everyone  else  for  the  next 
spokesman,  and  then  as  if  with  one  accord  all  eyes 
lighted  simultaneously  upon  my  husband. 

"I  should  prefer  not  advancing  my  views,"  he  said 
in  answer  to  a  general  summons,  and  with  sullen  polite 
ness  pausing  for  one-half  minute  in  the  dissection  of  a 
quail,  then  renewing  the  attack  with  nervous  vigor. 
"Reared  as  I  have  been  they  might  not  meet  the  ap 
proval  of  some  of  this  company."  But  "they  were  all 
perfectly  willing  to  hear  them,  whatever  they  might 
be."  As  matters  stood  now,  Spain  had  rather  the  ad 
vantage;  a  next  door  neighbor  might  help  matters. 

"Oh,  come,   Mr.   Macdonald,"  they   clamored,   "you 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  113 

cannot  escape  us  that  way;  we  are  all  so  anxious  to 
know  what  a  Canadian  thinks  of  us." 

I  looked  up  into  his  face  and  wished  they  had  no? 
been  so  persistent. 

"Then  hear,"  he  said,  with  the  recklessness  of  one 
who,  feeling  himself  in  the  right,  is  regardless  of  con 
sequences,  and  his  face  was  set  and  stern.  "But  first," 
turning  to  the  Spaniard,  who  was  all  interest,  "remem 
ber  I  see  things  through  the  eyes  of  a  Canadian  and 
Protestant,  who  has  nothing  but  kindly  feelings  for 
America  and  Americans  as  a  whole,  or  any  other  coun 
try;  but  I  deem  the  man  or  woman  who  would  discard 
his  or  her  lawfully  wedded  mate  for  another,  under  any 
other  pretext  than  the  breaking  of  the  seventh  com 
mandment,  guilty  of  a  flagrant  offense  before  God,  and 
worse  than  the  Turk,  who,  in  gathering  to  his  harem 
his  several  wives  according  to  his  financial  condition, 
only  follows  the  dictates  of  his  creed,  while  at  least 
they  have  each  and  all  a  protector  and  provider  of  their 
creature  comforts. 

"Worse  than  the  much-despised,  one-time  Mormon, 
who,  for  the  'purity  of  the  American  home/  failed  to 
obtain  a  seat  in  Congress,  because  he  provided  a  home 
himself  for  every  woman  with  whom  he  stood  at  the 
altar  and  refused  to  disown  his  children. 


114  PANDORA. 

"Worse  than  the  'rake/  who,  rather  than  defile  that 
altar  with  false  vows,  and  bring  unspeakable  misery 
upon  innocent  women  and  children,  will  live  a  life  of 
open  lasciviousness;  or  the  unfortunate  women  who 
may  never  have  received  the  benign  influence  of  judi 
cious  home  training,  or  perhaps  through  the  cruelty  of 
others  are  driven  to  despair  and  recklessness.  You  de 
manded  my  opinion;  I  have  given  it  unsparingly/' 

The  sentiments  fell  like  a  bomb  among  them.  At 
the  most  they  had  expected  veiled  criticism,  and  had 
received  open  and  undisguised  censure. 

There  was  a  shuffling  of  chairs,  a  murmur  of  disap 
proval,  a  muttering  of  "The  Bear,"  "The  Barbarian," 
but  only  one  found  connected  words  of  dissent. 

"I  am  afraid,  Mr.  Macdonald,"  he  began  with  an  in 
troductory  sneer  and  profuse  clearing  of  his  throat, 
"your  isolated  existence  among  Canadian  farms  has 
given  you  a  cramped  idea  of  these  things.  There  are 
more  important  points  to  be  considered,  of  which  we 
will  spare  the  ladies  present  a  recital,"  with  a  gallant 
wave  of  the  hand  toward  those  of  my  sex  wEo  had  been 
sufficiently  courageous  to  remain,  and  which  was  re 
sponded  to  by  a  reproving  smile  from  them.  "If  you 
remain  among  us  much  longer,  and  we  trust  you  will," 


AND  WAR."  115 


smiling  this  time  in  my  direction,  "you  will  learn  to  re 
gard  these  things  more  intelligently,  to  look  at  them 
in  the  broad  way.  Matches  were  not  all  made  in 
Heaven,  you  know."  This  last  shaft  was  accompanied 
by  another  glance  in  my  direction  and  a  meaning  smile, 
which  I  responded  to  by  an  upward  curl  of  my  lip,  for, 
much  as  I  regretted  and  trembled  at  the  bold  stand  my 
husband  had  taken  in  the  late  conversation,  Sydney 
Ferrars'  —  f  or  he  it  was  —  efforts  to  hold  him  up  to  rid 
icule  had  only  succeeded,  as  far  as  I  was  concerned,  in 
making  himself,  if  possible,  more  obnoxous  than  ever 
to  me. 

"The  broad  path,"  my  husband  retorted,  echoing  his 
phrase,  and  utterly  ignoring  the  other  remark.  "No 
doubt  you  refer  to  the  broad  way  that  leads  to  destruc 
tion  —  the  way  of  the  destroyer  of  women.  No,  that 
is  not  my  way;  you  and  I  will  have  to  take  different 
paths." 

He  shot  a  glance  of  utter  contempt  and  loathing  into 
the  other's  eyes,  which  dropped  before  his  steady  gaze, 
and  motioning  me  to  follow,  left  the  table  and  room. 

I  did  so  mechanical^,  wondering  how  it  would  all 
end,  for  without  doubt  Mr.  Macdonald  had  recognized 
in  Sydney  Ferrars  my  companion  of  the  Bacchante 


116  PANDORA. 

revel,  and  if  I  did  not  mistake  the  latter,  he  was  not 
the  man  to  let  such  an  affront  as  he  had  received  to 
night  pass  unnoticed. 

Arriving  at  the  large  saloon  my  husband  paused,  and 
with  one  elbow  resting  upon  the  mantel,  rigidly  scrut 
inizing  my  face,  asked  abruptly  if  within  a  week  I 
would  be  strong  again. 

"In  less  time  than  that,"  I  replied  indifferently, 
wondering  what  was  coming. 

"Then,"  he  said  with  decision  in  his  tone,  "in  ten 
days  you  can  certainly  undertake  a  long  journey.  Tell 
Bernice  to  make  preparations,  and  be  ready  to  return 
with  us  to  Canada  at  that  date;  meanwhile  I  want  you 
to  take  no  part  in  the  fandangoes  of  these  people.  The 
pure  country  air  and  the  society  of  the  geese  and  tur 
keys  upon  my  dear  old  mother's  farm  will  be  more 
wholesome  than  present  surroundings." 

I  should  have  known,  sooner  or  later,  it  would  come 
to  this,  and  yet  I  was  never  more  unprepared.  Never 
was  news  more  distasteful. 

In  imagination  I  could  hear  the  quacking  and  gob 
bling  of  the  aforesaid  geese  and  turkeys;  and  my 
mother-in-law,  in  check  apron  and  homespun  up 
turned  skirts,  berating  them  in  Gaelic  tones,  with  up 
raised  broom,  for  invading  the  cabin. 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  117 

I  could  see  my  husband  in  "top"  boots  and  blue  jeans 
mopping  face  and  head  at  the  drinking  well,  prepara 
tory  to  his  shirt-sleeved,  midday  dinner  of  ham  and 
eggs,  and  myself  with  the  traces  of  much  work  upon 
my  hands  and  many  suns  upon  my  face,  swill-pail  upon 
arm,  vainly  endeavoring  to  appease  the  appetite  of  a 
squealing,  quarrelsome  litter  of  pigs. 

In  contrast  I  heard  the  strains  of  a  beautiful  waltz 
and  the  swish-swish  of  silken,  perfumed  skirts.  I 
could  see  my  admirers  clamoring  for  the  honor  of  my 
hand  in  the  next  dance,  hear  their  honeyed  words,  and 
see  the  enraptured  glances  of  all;  and  dropping 
hopelessly  into  a  chair  I  covered  my  face  with  my 
hands  that  he  might  not  see  the  disappointed  tears, 
and  then,  born  of  the  thought  of  my  utter  dependence 
upon  him,  in  direct  contradiction  to  the  attempt  at 
concealment  of  my  regret,  moaned,  half  pleadingly — 

"Oh,  must  we  go?  I  am  so  young  to  be  obliged  to 
give  it  all  up." 

He  remained  silent  a  moment — an  hour  to  me  in  my 
suspense;  then  seating  himself  upon  an  arm  of  my  up 
holstered  chair,  withdrew  both  hands,  exposing  my 
woe-begone  expression.  His  own  was  not  much  less 
so. 


118  PANDORA. 

"Little  wife,"  he  said,  stooping  until  his  face  was 
upon  a  level  with  mine,  "do  you  think  it  is  any  pleasure 
for  me  to  disappoint  you  ?  Do  you  think,  but  for  this 
very  youth,  and  your  plainly  pliable  nature,  a  man 
of  my  years  and  tastes  would  have  taken  such  desperate 
chances  in  marrying  ?  No;  I  thought  to  mold  your 
character  back  to  its  natural  bent,  and  it  is  to  spare 
you  perhaps  still_  greater  cause  for  tears  that  I  now  in 
sist  upon  this  speedy  departure." 

"I  still  insist  upon  this  speedy  departure."  The  die 
was  cast!  It  rang  in  my  ears  like  a  death  knell,  drown 
ing  all  else.  I  thought  him  unreasonable,  cruel. 

With  one  hand  beneath  my  drooping  chin,  he  tipped 
my  head  back  to  learn  the  cause  of  my  silence  and 
saw  this  time  a  sullen,  rebellious  countenance;  then,  as 
though  realizing  my  helplessness  again,  I  buried  my 
face  once  more  in  my  hands  and  wept  bitterly.  When 
I  looked  up  again  he  was  pacing  back  and  forth  the 
long  room,  with  folded  arms  and  dejected  bearing.  It 
did  not  move  me  excepting  to  anger. 

The  topic  of  conversation  at  dinner  was  in  my  mind. 
They  were  right1 — they  must  be;  they  were  in  the  ma 
jority.  His  isolated  life  had  made  him  narrow-minded, 
and  I  must  be  the  sufferer.  Should  I?  A  thought  oc- 


"LOVE  AND  WAR."  119 

curred  to  me  like  an  inspiration.  Why  not  avail  my 
self  of  it?  Once  in  Canada  it  would  be  too  late.  I 
looked  up  again  and  found  myself  alone. 

Hastening  to  my  rooms  I  rang  the  bell,  hurriedly 
wrote  a  telegram,  then  rang  for  a  messenger.  It  woidd 
be  in  time. 

I  went  to  bed,  but  not  to  sleep. 


CHAPTEE  XII. 

THE  GLASS  RAILWAY. 

"With  weary  steps  I  loiter  on 
Tho  always  under  altered  skies; 
The  purple  from  the  distance  dies, 

My  prospect  and  horizon  gone. 

No  joy  the  blowing  season  gives 
The  herald  melodies  of  spring, 
But  in  the  songs  I  loved  to  sing 

A  doubtful  gleam  of  solace  lives." 

In  the  words  of  Horace  Walpole,  "The  severity  of 
summer  had  set  in."  May,  elsewhere  the  most  charm 
ing  of  months,  was  ushered  in  with  "wild  west"  winds ; 
but  the  gods  favor  San  Franciscans  in  this  respect;  by 
their  merciful  dispensation  the  caverns  of  Eolus  are 
opened  wide,  and  the  city  fathers  are  spared  the  an 
noyance  of  disposing  of  an  accumulated  debris  from 
all  parts  of  the  city.  It  is  said  to  be  due  to  this,  and 
the  annual  washing  out  of  ill-smelling  sewers  by  win 
ter  rains,  that  the  city  is  so  free  from  epidemics  of  all 
kinds.  Be  that  as  it  may,  nature's  purifying  process 
is  wearisome  to  those  situated  so  they  cannot  remain 
in  the  country  during  the  summer  months,  and  this 

was  the  position  of  many  at  our  hotel,  who  felt  that 

(121) 


122  PANDORA. 

even  one  whole  day  out  of  doors  with  the  novelty  of 
keeping  one's  eyes  opened  and  ankles  covered  would 
be  in  itself  a  relaxation.  This  time  there  was  a  special 
point  of  interest  to  inspire  them  to  action.  A  scenic 
railway  had  been  built  by  some  syndicate,  some  time 
previous,  to  the  summit  of  Mt.  Tamalpais,  said  to  be 
a  most  delightful  and  novel  trip,  which  few  of  us  had 
taken,  and  an  excursion  had  been  planned  to,  after 
breakfast,  cross  the  ferry,  to  take  the  train  to  Mill 
Valley,  where  the  ride  begins,  and,  partaking  of  lunch 
eon  at  the  crest,  return  on  foot  down  the  gradually 
sloping  and  winding  path,  pausing  at  a  pine  forest  at 
the  base  long  enough  to  gather  fragrant  needles,  for 
souvenir  pillows,  and  rest. 

There  was  much  enthusiasm  displayed  over  the  ex 
pedition,  which  I  had  been  repeatedly  invited  to  join. 
It  was  the  first  social  gathering  whatever  since  Mr. 
Macdonald's  express  commands  against  my  participat 
ing.  He  left  town  the  following  morning  on  subur 
ban  business  and  had  not  returned.  I  felt,  if  I  cared 
to  go,  any  scruples  I  might  possess  against  it  would  be 
inconsistent  under  existing  circumstances;  but,  strange 
to  say,  I  did  have  them,  and  the  prospect  of  a  day's 
outing  did  not  inspire  me  with  the  same  anticipation  as 
formerly;  yet  I  wanted  to  get  away  from  myself  and 


THE  GLASS  RAILWAY.  123 

the  hotel,  where  any  moment  my  husband  might  return 
and  a  tete-a-tete  ensue.  Every  day  pleasantly  passed 
brought  me  more  rapidly  to  the  fruition  of  my  own 
plans.  One  more  would  place  me  beyond  the  possi 
bility  of  frustration,  for  detection  was  also  terrifying, 
and  I  decided  to  go. 

As  we  passed  down  one  of  the  long  corridors  of  the 
hotel  on  our  way  to  take  the  carriage,  which  was  the 
first  step  towards  the  trip,  I  saw  a  white-capped  hospi 
tal  nurse  enter  Mrs.  Neville's  room.  I  had  not  seen 
the  latter  in  the  dining-room  since  my  recovery,  but, 
believing  she  purposely  avoided  me,  had  made  no  in 
quiries. 

"Has  Mrs.  Neville  been  ill,"  I  asked,  and  a  cold  per 
spiration  broke  out  upon  my  face. 

''Why,  yes,"  said  one  of  the  party,  nurrying  me  past 
the  door.  "Did  you  not  know?  The  poor  little 
woman  had  news  which  has  quite  prostrated  her.  I 
hear  her  husband  has  married  again,  and  she  refuses  to 
accept  any  more  alimony.  They  say  it  throws  her  com 
pletely  upon  her  own  resources,  too.  Is  she  not  fool 
ish?" 

"How  long  has  she  been  ill?"  I  gasped. 

"Why,  she  went  to  bed  the  same  day  your  maid  was 
engaged,"  another  said,  "I  happened  to  know,  because 


124:  PANDORA. 

I  was  with  her  at  the  time  she  was  taken  sick,  and 
heard  the  doctor  say  it  was  madness  for  her  to  be  in  a 
sick  room  with  you,  feeling  the  way  she  did.  It 
seemed  to  bother  her  that  she  could  not  go  to  you; 
then  your  husband  sent  immediately  for  a  nurse  for 
you,  or  maid." 

My  knees  shook  beneath  me,  I  felt  as  though  I  were 
going  to  faint,  and  seemed  incapable  of  moving. 

"What  is  wrong?"  some  one  asked,  noting  my  pallor 
and  faltering  steps. 

"Oh,"  I  moaned,  "I  feel  so  dreadfully  about  Mrs. 
Neville.  I  did  not  know  she  was  sick,  and  have  never 
even  inquired  for  her,  and  she  was  everything  to  me 
during  my  illness.  I — I  believe  I  will  remain  and  see 
her  now,"  I  stammered. 

"Oh,  but  you  must  not,"  they  clamored,  simulta 
neously.  ""We  have  made  all  arrangements  for  you 
now;  it  is  too  late  to  turn  back." 

They  were  right.  "It  is  too  late  now  to  turn  back." 
How,  I  thought,  can  I  face  her  now?  A  pocket  flask 
containing  wine  was  handed  me,  to  renew  my  own  flag 
ging  "spirits"  and  steps.  I  drank  eagerly,  generously. 
The  way  seemed  smoother,  but  during  my  journey  I 
was  too  preoccupied  to  be  entertaining  or  entertained. 


THE  GLASS  RAILWAY.  125 

Through  my  whirling  brain  there  kept  repeating  itself 
a  dream  I  had  once  heard  of  a  glass  railway. 

"I  was  in  the  center  of  a  gay  crowd.  The  first  sensa 
tion  I  experienced  was  that  of  being  borne  along  with 
a  peculiar  motion.  I  looked  around  and  found  I  was 
in  a  long  train  of  cars,  which  were  gliding  over  a  rail 
way  and  seemed  to  be  many  miles  in  length.  It  was 
composed  of  many  cars.  Every  car  open  at  the  top, 
and  was  filled  with  men  and  women,  all  gayly  dressed 
and  happy,  and  all  laughing,  talking,  and  singing. 
The  peculiar  gentle  motion  of  the  cars  interested  me. 
There  was  no  grating  such  as  we  usually  hear  on  the 
railroad.  They  moved  along  without  the  least  jar  or 
sound.  I  looked  over  the  side  and  to  my  astonishment 
found  the  railroad  and  cars  were  made  of  glass.  The 
glass  wheels  moved  over  the  glass  railroad  without  the 
least  jar  or  oscillation.  The  soft,  gliding  motion  pro 
duced  a  feeling  of  exquisite  happiness.  I  was  happy. 
It  seemed  as  though  everything  was  at  peace  within 
me. 

"While  I  was  wondering  over  this  circumstance,  a  new 
sight  attracted  my  attention.  All  along  the  road, 
within  a  foot  of  the  track,  were  laid  long  lines  of 
coffins  on  either  side  of  the  railway,  and  every  one  con- 


126  PANDORA. 

tained  a  corpse  dressed  for  burial,  with  its  cold,  white 
face  upturned  to  the  light.  The  sight  filled  me  with 
horror.  I  yelled  in  agony,  but  could  make  no  sound. 
The  gay  crowd  about  me  only  redoubled  their  singing 
and  laughter  at  sight  of  my  agony,  and  we  swept  on, 
gliding  with  glass  wheels  over  the  glass  railroad,  every 
moment  coming  nearer  to  the  bend  in  the  road,  which 
formed  an  angle  with  the  road  far,  far  in  the  distance. 

"  'Who  are  those  ?'  I  cried  at  last,  pointing  to  the 
dead  in  their  coffins. 

"  'Those  are  the  persons  who  made  the  trip  before 
us,'  was  the  reply  of  one  of  the  gayest  persons  near 
me. 

'"What  trip?' I  asked. 

"  'Why,  the  trip  you  are  now  making;  the  trip  over 
the  glass  railroad,'  was  the  answer. 

"  'Why  do  they  lie  along  the  road,  each  one  in  his 
coffin?' 

"I  was  answered  with  a  whisper,  and  half  laugh 
which  froze  my  blood. 

"  'They  were  dashed  to  death  at  the  end  of  the  rail 
road.  You  know  the  railroad  terminates  at  an  abyss 
which  is  without  bottom,  or  measure.  It  is  lined  with 
pointed  rocks.  As  each  car  arrives  at  the  end  it  pre 
cipitates  its  passengers  into  the  abyss.  They  are 


THE  GLASS  RAILWAY.  127 

dashed  to  pieces  against  the  rocks,  and  their  bodies  are 
brought  here  and  placed  in  coffins  as  a  warning  to 
other  passengers;  but  no  one  minds  it  we  are  so  happy 
on  the  glass  railroad.' 

"I  can  never  describe  the  horror  with  which  these 
words  inspired  me.  'What  is  the  name  of  the  glass 
railroad?'  I  asked, 

"The  person  replied  in  the  same  strain: 

"•It  is  very  easy  to  get  into  the  cars  but  very  hard 
to  get  out.  For  once  in  these,  everybody  is  delighted 
with  the  soft,  gliding  motion.  The  cars  move  gently; 
yes,  this  is  a  railroad  of  habit,  and  on  glass  wheels  we 
are  whirled  over  a  glass  railroad  towards  a  bottomless 
pit.  In  a  few  moments  we  will  be  there,  and  they  will 
bring  our  bodies  and  put  them  in  coffins  as  a  warning 
to  others ;  but  you  will  not  mind  it.' " 

Oh,  to  be  able  to  reverse  the  horrible  train  of 
thought  rapidly  whirling  me  toward  some  unknown 
horror;  but  above  the  clamoring  of  my  conscience,  and 
the  more  realistic  wheels  of  the  Sausalito  train,  were 
the  words  of  my  companion  ringing  in  my  ears — 

"It  is  too  late  now  to  turn  back." 

If  I  schooled  myself  I  might  not  mind  it. 

With  others,  a  few  of  them  also  incapacitated  from 
making  the  descent  on  foot,  I  had  digressed,  and  re- 


128  PANDORA. 

turned  to  the  forest  by  the  steam-car  in  which  we  had 
made  the  ascent;  but,  like  the  glass  railroad,  once  fairly 
ensconced  upon  the  down  road  there  is  no  retrograding 
— relentless  little  gates  close  one  in  until  the  engineer 
feels  his  mission  is  fulfilled — only  in  the  latter  case  the 
end  is  less  undesirable,  especially  if  one  is  inside,  and 
has  an  uncongenial  neighbor.  My  amazement  and  dis 
gust  can  hardly  be  depicted  then,  upon  discovering  Mr. 
Ferrars'  effrontery,  or  something  worse,  had  induced 
him  to  take  the  seat  next  me,  though  there  were  nearly 
half  a  score  unoccupied.  Seeing  no  other  alternative 
I  determined  to  make  him  as  uncomfortable  as  he  was 
making  me,  but  I  had  reckoned  without  my  host. 

"May  I  avail  myself  of  this  honor?"  he  asked  in  his 
blandest  tone. 

"It  is  not  reserved,"  I  replied,  summoning  all  the 
hauteur  I  could  command,  and  squeezing  myself  into 
the  farthest  corner,  and  smallest  possible  space. 

"But  you  don't  object?"  incredulously. 

"It  would  not  avail  me  much  if  I  did,  when  we  con 
sider  the  car  is  already  in  motion,"  I  replied  icily. 

"Am  I  in  disfavor  to-day?"  raising  his  eyebrows,  and 
lowering  his  voice  to  the  most  confidential  of  tones, 
with  his  face  as  near  to  mine  as  it  was  possible  to  get  it, 
a  habit  he  possessed,  and  one  which  would  give  an  on- 


THE  GLASS  RAILWAY.  129 

looker  the  impression  all  sorts  of  sweet  nothings  were 
in  exchange.  It  exasperated  me  beyond  everything. 

"Not  more  than  usual/'  I  said,  throwing  my  head 
back  as  far  as  it  would  go  without  endangering  my 
neck.  Disdain  and  dislike  must  have  been  stamped 
upon  every  feature,  for  I  meant  it  should  be  so,  and 
certainly  experienced  both;  but  this  spoiled  darling  was 
pleased  to  misinterpret  things. 

"There  was  a  time,"  he  said,  insinuatingly,  and  look 
ing  affectionately  at  the  dimple  in  my  chin,  "when  you 
were  not  afraid  to  bestow  favors  upon  me." 

"Indeed,  I  can  recall  but  one  occasion  and  then,  had 
you  not  been  even  less  capable  of  reasoning  than  my 
self,  you  would  have  seen  my  favor  meant  disfavor/' 

"That  might  apply  with  many,  but  I  am  forced  to 
disbelieve  it  where  I  am  concerned.  You  have  per 
verted  the  motto  of  our  club,  for  had  there  not  been 
disfavor  elsewhere,  you  would  not  on  that  occasion 
have  favored  me,"  he  said  with  characteristic  self-con 
fidence  in  his  powers  of  fascination. 

The  strained  relationship  was  becoming  unbearable. 
There  was  a  very  perceptible  crick  in  my  neck,  and  pal 
pable  tempest  raging  in  my  bosom.  I  could  not  put 
my  head  in  its  natural  position  without  coming  in  con 
tact  with  his,  which  has  usurped  its  former  position, 


130  PANDORA. 

and  could  see  that  people  were  watching  my  expression 
and  might  misinterpret  it.  I  tried  to  look  better 
pleased,  consoling  myself  with  the  thought  that  after 
all  it  was  a  long  road  that  had  no  termination.  The 
change  of  front  did  not  improve  matters  for  me. 

"It  is  fear,"  he  said,  "fear  of  the  anger  of  another 
that  has  caused  this  change  in  you,  and  fear  alone 
which  makes  you  turn  the  cold  shoulder  to  me  now, 
but,"  mysteriously,  and  looking  wise,  "he  has  publicly 
aired  his  views,  we  know  them,  and  can  prepare  our 
selves.  Sweetheart,  throw  off  this  obnoxious  yoke 
and—" 

"Stop,"  I  cried,  almost  choked  with  indignation,  de 
termined  to  put  an  immediate  quietus  upon  his  ad 
vances  without  creating  a  scene;  and  when  I  could 
command  my  voice  and  expression  I  said  quietly, 
meaning  to  wither  him,  metaphorically: 

"Perhaps  you  are  right;  it  may  be  fear  which 
prompts  this  coldness,  or  whatever  you  are  pleased  to 
call  it,"  and  pointing  to  a  chasm  over  which  our  car 
upon  a  narrow  ledge  was  at  that  moment  crossing. 
Drawing  his  attention  to  it,  I  said,  "I  would  fear  less 
the  fall  from  this  dizzy  height,  than  the  inevitable  one 
of  further  acquaintanceship  with  you." 

Even  then  his  insufferable  conceit  would  not  permit 
him  to  see  the  "drift." 


THE  GLASS  RAILWAY.  131 

"There?"  he  drawled,  looking  back  at  the  precipice 
and  shuddering.  "Ugh!  you  don't  mean  it;  even  to 
stand  there,  alone,  and  unprotected  would  be  dreadful ; 
but/'  looking  unutterable  things  at  me  from  beneath 
his  eyebrows,  "together,  we  need  not  fear  anything,  any 
where." 

"Do  you  not  see,"  I  almost  shouted,  pressed  beyond 
all  powers  of  endurance,  "can  you  not  understand  that 
I  loathe,  I  despise  you,  and  that  you  are  a  despicable 
coward  to  take  advantage  of  this  opportunity  to  force 
your  attentions  upon  me?"  after  which  I  abruptly 
turned  my  back,  but  not  before  it  was  made  known  to 
me  that  the  unwilling  truth  had  finally  come  home  to 
him,  and  that  he  was  not  so  slow  at  resentment,  in  his 
own  way. 

He  also  turned  his  back  after  bestowing  upon  me  a 
satanically  wicked  look,  and  devoted  the  remainder  of 
the  journey  to  assiduously  twirling  the  ends  of  his 
moustache,  varied  only  by  savagely  chewing  the  ends 
of  an  unlighted  cigar — both  alarming  symptoms. 

I  had  succeeded  in  making  him  uncomfortable  but 
greatly  aggravated  my  own  case.  What  would  I  not 
have  relinquished  for  the  rightful  shelter  of  a  protec 
tive  arm  in  this  hour  of  need  ?  But  if  I  brooded  alone, 
over  my  self-inflicted  injuries,  the  hardest  of  all  to 


132  PANDORA. 

bear,  I  knew  I  would  cry  outright  and  increase  my 
humiliation,  so  I  made  spasmodic  efforts  to  divert  my 
mind  by  carrying  on  a  disjointed  conversation  with  an 
inoffensive  looking  young  man  two  seats  in  the  rear, 
and  against  the  wind,  with  the  exasperating  result  that 
he  clung  to  me,  long  after  we  had  alighted,  with  such 
leech-like  pertinacity  I  began  to  fear  he  would  soon  fol 
low  me  to  my  tomb  unless  some  unseen  power  shortly 
interposed.  He  was  one  of  those  spontaneous  beings 
who  relate  anything  of  any  possible  interest  they  know 
within  the  first  half  hour  of  acquaintance,  and  then, 
with  the  exception  of  the  oft-repeated,  intensely  vulgar 
and  inane  query,  "Is  that  so?"  relapses  into  a  compara 
tive  state  of  nonentity  for  all  time. 

He  had  reached  the  latter  stage  and  I  the  desperate 
one,  when  my  eyes,  wandering  willingly  away,  rested 
upon  the  only  animate  objects  in  view  some  one  hun 
dred  feet  distant,  none  other  than  Mrs.  Beverly  Smart 
and  Mr.  Ferrars. 

She  wore  a  gown  of  an  iridescent  effect,  which  scin 
tillated  and  shone,  reptile-like,  in  the  sun  as  she 
walked. 

By  their  gestures  they  appeared  to  be  quarreling. 
I  watched  them  for  several  minutes,  when  they  stood 
still,  held  an  earnest  conversation,  then  separated,  ap- 


THE  GLASS  RAILWAJ  133 

parently  in  anger,  he  disappearing  behind  the  shrub 
bery,  she  advancing  in  my  direction.  Hesitatingly  at 
first,  as  though  reluctant  to  intrude,  then  with  rapid 
strides  she  approached  us;  and  with  the  traces  of  tears 
upon  her  face,  and  every  indication  of  deep  emotion, 
begged  a  private  interview  with  me. 

The  role  was  so  entirely  foreign  to  her  my  curiosity 
was  aroused,  and  she  had  the  faculty  of  always  ap 
pearing  at  such  opportune  moments.  I  wondered  if, 
and  sincerely  trusted  that,  she  also  had  become  dis 
gusted  with  Mr.  Ferrars,  and  promptly  grasped  the  op 
portunity  of  excusing  myself  from  my  dumb  compan 
ion,  who  walked  reluctantly  away,  looking  "daggers" 
at  the  intruder. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS. 

"And  they  could  let  me  take  my  state 
And  foolish  throne  amid  applause 
Of  all  come  there  to  celebrate 
My  queen's  day — oh,  I  think  the  cause 
Of  much  was,  they  forgot  no  crowd 
Makes  up  for  parents  in  their  shroud." 

"I  have  come  to  ask  a  favor  of  you,  and  there  is  no 
time  to  be  lost/'  she  said  with  some  agitation,  laying 
a  long,  slender  hand  upon  either  of  my  shoulders,  and 
peering  lynx-like  into  my  eyes. 

The  contact  was  not  pleasing;  there  are  times  when 
one  feels  those  things  without  being  able  to  account 
for  it.  It  was  as  though  a  hungry  cougar  stood  there, 
purring  with  satisfaction  at  the  nearness  to  my  throat. 

"It  is  about  Beverly  again;  this  time,  though,  I  am 
worried,  dreadfully  worried.  I  fear  I  have  driven  him 
to  extreme  lengths.  In  short,"  sniffling,  "I  believe  he» 
is  going  to  commit  suicide.  I  know  your  influence 
with  him,  and,  if  you  will,  you  can  prevent  it.  Won't 

you?"  pleadingly. 

(135) 


136  PANDORA. 

The  suggestion  that  Beverly  Smart  might  at  any 
time  commit  suicide  was  not  by  any  means  a  prepos 
terous  one.  I  had  heard  its  probability  rumored  be 
fore,  and  seen  it  in  his  face  at  times  when  his  wife  was 
indulging  in  one  of  her  most  violent  flirtations.  Then, 
those  things  appeared  to  run  like  epidemics  in  San 
Francisco.  One  desperate  deed  was  almost  sure  to  be 
followed  by  numberless  others,  and  the  mania  was  on 
the  city  at  the  time. 

That  she  should  have  heart  enough  to  care,  or  how 
I  could  be  expected  to  avert  the  calamity,  was  what 
surprised  me  most;  but  I  liked  her  better  for  it,  and  ex 
pressed  my  willingness  to  do  all  in  my  power.  Any 
thing  within  reason. 

She  thanked  me  profusely  and  leading  me  a  few 
yards  away  to  a  clearing,  pointed  to  an  empty  shanty 
nestling  cosily  among  a  clump  of  trees  in  a  hollow. 

I  looked,  and  though  quite  a  distance  away  plainly 
recognized  Beverly  Smart  making  rapidly  toward  it, 
with  every  indication  of  extreme  agitation. 

When  quite  near  he  paused,  looked  cautiously  about, 
and  drawing  from  his  pocket  a  silver  mounted  pistol, 
carefully  examined,  then  replaced  it. 

"Oh!  be  quick,"  she  cried,  clutching  me  excitedly, 
and  placing  both  hands  tragically  over  her  ears.  "If  I 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS. 


hear  that   report  I  shall    never   forget  the    dreadful 
sound." 

"But  what  can  I  do?"  I  asked,  considerably  exer 
cised  myself  at  thought  of  the  dreadful  tragedy  so 
near,  and  so  soon  to  be  enacted,  and  yet  alarmed  at 
the  responsibility  and  enormity  of  the  task  imposed 
upon  me.  "You  had  better  come  with  me,  it  would 
look  strange  my  being  there  alone  with  your  husband." 

"Ugh!"  she  ejaculated,  disgustedly,  "A  prude  is  a 
most  improper  person,  putting  ideas  into  people's 
heads  which  otherwise  would  not  exist.  I  have  no  pa 
tience  with  prudery,  and  at  a  time  like  this  it  is  crim 
inal.  There,  see!  his  hand  is  upon  the  latch.  Oh, 
what  will  I  do,"  wringing  her  hands.  "If  I  go,  he  will 
shoot  me  also;  he  is  dying  for  just  such  a  chance." 

""Well,  what  shall  I  do  ?"  I  asked,  preparing  to  run, 
having  seen  the  truth  of  the  argument  and  necessity 
for  immediate  action,  but  wishing  someone  else  would 
relieve  me  of  the  job. 

"Why,  tell  him  that  I  will  never  flirt  with  Sydney 
Ferrars  again,  or  —  or  —  any  other  man.  That  it  is  all 
over  between  us,  anything  —  anything  so  long  as  I  gain 
my  end,"  pushing  me  before  her. 

Breathless  and  panting  I  reached  the  place.  Filled 
with  importance  at  my  magnanimity,  and  trembling 


138  PANDORA 

with  trepidation  at  the  possibility  of  failure,  I  burst 
unceremoniously  into  the  room,  and  was  immediately 
confronted  by  the  muzzle  of  a  revolver  in  the  hands 
of  the  would-be  suicide,  who,  coatless,  collarless,  pale, 
and  generally  disheveled,  stood  in  TEe  middle  of  the 
floor,  regarding  me  with  wild,  wondering  eyes. 

"Merciful  Heaven!"  I  ejaculated  inwardly.  "It  is 
worse  than  I  bargained  for;  Beverly  Smart  is  mad." 
My  first  impulse  was  flight;  then  I  reasoned  there  might 
be  more  danger  in  that;  he  would  inevitably  overtake 
me,  and  then — how  unheroic.  If  I  must  die,  let  it  be 
in  the  cause. 

His  next  action  reassured  me  somewhat.  Throwing 
his  revolver  upon  a  pile  of  straw— which  former,  by 
the  way,  I  instantly  appropriated  by  backing  up  in  front 
of  the  latter,  and  pretending  to  fasten  my  shoe,  con 
fiscated  it,  mentally  giving  myself  credit  for  excellent 
presence  of  mind — he  broke  into  uncontrollable 
laughter, 

"You,"  he  shouted,  "of  all  people  in  the  world! 
Why,  I  thought  you  were  the  Vendetti,"  pressing  both 
hands  to  his  sides  and  giving  vent  to  a  regular  cowboy 
yell. 

"Now,"  I  thought,  is  my  time  to  go,  I  have  the  pistol, 
and  he  cannot  so  easily  do  either  of  us  bodily  harm. 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS.  139 

My  back  was  to  the  door,  I  would  retreat  to  it  in  that 
way,  talking  quietly  to  him  the  while,  and,  once  out 
side,  run  screaming  for  help. 

"Wait  a  moment,  Mrs.  Macdonald,"  he  said,  noting 
my  design,  and  speaking  unusually  calmly  for  a  lunatic. 
"I  suppose  your  purpose  is  the  same  as  mine;  perhaps 
together  we  will  have  better  success;  two  heads  are  bet 
ter  than  one,  you  know." 

"Great  Heavens!  this  was  dreadful."  I  shook  from 
head  to  foot  with  a  new  terror.  He  was  going  to  make 
me  assist  him  in  the  deed,  and  if  I  did  not  die  outright 
from  fright,  I  should  be  indicted  for  murder,  or  else — 
he  was  going  to  kill  me  also. 

I  made  a  wild  lunge  for  the  door;  in  some  unaccount 
able  way  it  was  closed,  though  I  had  taken  the  precau 
tion  upon  entering  to  open  it  to  its  widest  extent.  I 
pulled  the  knob  vigorously,  but  it  would  not  yield  to 
my  desperate  efforts,  and  I  fell  fainting  to  the  floor. 

When  I  regained  consciousness  Beverly  Smart  was 
upon  his  knees,  frantically  fanning  me  with  his  straw 
hat,  a  desperate  expression  upon  his  handsome,  boyish 
face. 

"In  mercy's  name,  Mrs.  Macdonald,  give  me  the  key 
of  the  door,"  he  said,  at  the  first  sign  of  animation, 
adding,  "We  will  stifle  here  for  want  of  air ;  every  win- 


140  PANDORA. 

dow  in  the  house  is  barred  up,  excepting  that  blamed 
one  at  the  top,  which  cannot  be  reached." 

"I  have  not  the  key,"  I  said,  in  a  dazed  way,  en 
deavoring  to  stagger  to  my  feet,  but  falling  helplessly 
in  a  heap  again  as  I  recalled  the  circumstances  which 
brought  me  there. 

"Not  got  the  key!"  he  echoed  in  great  consterna 
tion.  "Then  in  Heaven's  name,"  assisting  me  to  rise 
again,  "pull  yourself  together,  for  we  are  locked  in,  and 
must  look  the  situation  in  the  face."  He  pushed  im 
patiently  against  the  door,  a  clumsy,  heavy  contriv 
ance,  formed  mostly  of  logs,  but  made  no  impression 
upon  it. 

"Impossible,"  I  said  bracing  myself  against  the 
dusty,  cobwebby  board  walls,  and  assuring  myself  that 
it  must  have  been  but  a  temporary  aberration  of  the 
mind  which  had  attacked  him,  as  he  seemed  so  rational 
now,  but  congratulated  myself  that  I  had  at  least  been 
the  means  of  diverting  his  attention  for  the  nonce,  rea 
soning  within  myself  that  if  we  could  only  get  away 
without  delay,  all  might  yet  be  well.  "You  must  have 
done  it  while  you  were  crazed  with  grief  and  forgotten 
where  you  placed  the  key,"  I  suggested  nervously,  and 
gasping  for  breath  in  the  close  atmosphere. 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS. 


"Crazed  with  grief/*  he  repeatedly  indignantly,  and 
pausing  in  his  efforts  to  pick  the  lock,  "why  I  was  as 
happy  as  a  clam,  when  you  arrived  and  frightened  me 
out  of  some  of  my  senses,  but  not  to  the  extent  of  lock 
ing  you  in." 

"Then  you  were  not  going  to  commit  suicide?"  I 
ventured  timidly,  and,  without  pretending  to  solve  the 
riddle  of  the  door,  fell  to  wondering  if  I  myself  had 
not  been  the  lunatic. 

"Suicide!"  still  more  indignantly.  "Well,  that  is 
the  'dickens  of  a  note/  and  I  suppose  you  were  coming 
to  play  'Good  Samaritan'?  Someone  has  been  trying 
to  put  up  a  'gag'  on  us,  and  you  'bit.'  But,"  more 
seriously,  "I  don't  blame  you  for  thinking  your  services 
might  be  required,  and  quite  appreciate  it  too;  but," 
with  grim  pleasantry,  "they  had  better  send  someone 
with  more  nerve  another  time.  A  would-be  suicide  does 
not  as  a  rule  make  a  good  nurse.  The  fact  is,  my  wife 
had  sent  me  in  search  of  a  chamois  bag  containing  her 
diamonds,  which  she  claims  she  left  inside  this  shanty 
while  gathering  pine  needles,  and  thoughtlessly  came 
away  without  them.  I  armed  myself,  because  some 
doubtful  characters  had  been  seen  prowling  about,  and, 
pardon  the  return  compliment,  but  I'm  blamed  if  I  did 
not  think  you  were  one  of  them,  diamonds  and  all." 


142  PANDORA. 

He  doubled  up  with  laughter  at  what  he  supposed 
to  be  the  richness  of  the  joke,  while  I  was  too  sick, 
mentally  and  bodily,  to  make  any  comment,  and 
laughter  was  far  from  my  lips.  The  discovery  that  I 
was  not  locked  up  with  a  madman  did  not  overpower 
me  with  the  relief  it  should.  I  could  almost  have 
wished  things  as  I  had  supposed  them,  for  both  our 
sakes.  Madman,  indeed!  Was  there  ever  any  crea 
ture  so  idiotically  stupid  as  I  had  been?  And  why 
could  he  not  see  himself  in  the  same  light' — he  who  had 
been  in  the  world  several  years  longer?  His  buoyancy 
irritated  me.  My  one  desire  was  to  get  out,  or  die; 
but  since  I  had  revived,  the  situation  did  not  so  much 
trouble  him,  and  -I  hated  to  put  a  damper  upon  his  ex 
uberance,  knowing  it  would  come  soon  enough. 

"It  is  not  often  Donna  is  as  kind  to  me  as  she  was 
to-day,  and  I  was  particularly  anxious  to  distinguish 
myself,"  he  went  on,  his  voice  softening,  "but  my  ef 
forts  were  not  crowned  with  success,  and  I  shall  have 
to  dig  down  in  my  'jeans'  and  buy  her  a  new  outfit, 
for  the  poor  girl  will  be  heartbroken  over  the  misfor 
tune,  she  is  so  fond  of  'jhncracks.'  Do  you  know,  Mrs. 
Macdonald,"  confidingly,  and  warming  to  the  one  sub 
ject  at  all  times  nearest  his  heart — his  wife — regard- 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS.  143 

less  of  our  discomfiture  and  danger  under  the  belief 
that  someone  was  willing  to  listen,  passive,  at  least,  "I 
have  to  acknowledge  at  present  that  my  money  is  the 
greatest  hold  I  have  on  Donna.  I  gratify  every  whim 
it  can  procure,  always  feeling  that  she  will  sometime 
tire  of  flirting,  and  love  me  as  she  did  once.  She  is 
clever  enough  to  know  no  court  would  grant  her  a  de 
cree  of  divorce,  with  alimony,  while  I  have  the  money 
to  fight  it,  and  she  has  none.  Of  course,  if  she  had 
a  tangible  accusation  to  make  against  me  it  might  be 
different,  but  everyone  knows — " 

He  paused  suddenly,  gasped  painfully.  The  case 
knife  with  which  he  had  been  listlessly  working  in 
order  to  hold  my  attention  fell  to  the  floor,  sounding 
like  a  sledgehammer  in  the  empty  house. 

For  the  space  of  a  minute  neither  of  us  spoke,  each 
being  busy  with  our  own  particularly  bitter  reflections; 
then  a  trembling  hand  was  laid  upon  my  limp  arm,  and 
a  hollow  voice  asked  fearfully: 

"Did  she  send  you  here?" 

A  sob  and  accompanying  nod  was  all  the  reply  I 
could  make,  calling  forth  a  heartrending  groan  from 
my  companion,  who  seemed  quite  incapacitated  now 
from  bettering  our  condition.  The  perspiration  stood 


144  PANDORA. 

in  great  beads  upon  his  ashen  face.  His  hands  and 
knees  trembled  like  one  with  the  palsy.  "Does  she 
mean  we  shall  die  here?"  I  asked  presently,  staring 
straight  before  me  into  the  semi-darkness,  "because  if 
that  is  her  mission,  she  will  have  soon  accomplished  it. 
I  feel  I  am  going  to  swoon  again,  and,"  indifferently, 
"I  shall  not  revive  this  time." 

"Die?"  desperately.  "No,  that  would  be  kind  by 
comparison,  and  besides,  decency  and  all  the  states, 
require  that  a  genuine  widow  mourn  a  whole  year  for 
her  husband  before  she  thinks  of  marriage  again.  No, 
set  your  mind  at  rest,  she  will  come,  and  with  plenty 
of  sympathizers,  for  our  release  will  mean — her  own. 
Hark!"  his  eyes  starting  almost  from  his  head.  "They 
are  coming  now,  but  before  that  happens  we  must  free 
ourselves,  if  not  one  way — another.  It  is  all  the  re 
turn  I  can  make  for  your  solicitation,"  with  a  harsh, 
metallic  laugh. 

His  voice  sounded  husky  and  far  away  to  me  now. 
He  roused  himself  to  unusual  energy,  in  a  desperate 
effort  to  break  down  the  door,  but  extreme  mental  an 
guish  had  weakened  him. 

"Don't  dare  tell  anyone  she  did  this,  at  your  peril. 
Do  you  hear  ?"  he  said,  suddenly  changing  his  tone,  and 
coming  closer,  shook  a  finger  menacingly  in  my  face. 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS.  145 

"She  never  meant  to  hurt  you;  you  were  only  a  'cat's 
paw/  a  poor,  miserable  'cat's  paw,' "  pointing  disdain 
fully  at  me  this  time. 

Dimly  I  saw  him  fumbling  wildly  among  the  straw 
for  something  no  longer  there,  and  meant  to  tell  him 
what  we  needed  was  concealed  in  my  pocket — I  who 
had  come  there  on  so  entirely  different  a  mission.  Un 
consciousness  alone  prevented  it. 

The  next  thing  I  realized  I  was  in  the  open  air,  the 
fresh  hillside  breeze  playing  upon  my  temples,  and  my 
head  resting  upon  the  lap  of  a  not  unkindly  disposed 
matron  of  our  party,  who  was  endeavoring  her  utmost 
to  instill  proper  circulation  into  my  veins,  and  im 
proper  sentiments  into  my  mind,  with  a  generous  dis 
tribution  of  sound  shakings,  and  unsound  advice — 
novice  attentions  of  which  I  was  too  weak  physically 
and  mentally  to  resent  or  resist,  and  might  have  suc 
cumbed  to  either  treatment,  had  not  cold  water,  if  not 
good  judgment,  been  substituted. 

I  had  known  her  but  slightly,  and  the  brief  acquaint 
ance  had  developed  no  obligation  upon  either  side,  yet, 
of  all  the  apparently  warm-hearted,  staunch  friends 
who  had  rallied  about  me  that  morning  solicitous  of 
my  comfort,  and  anxious  for  my  favor,  no  other  of  my 
sex  could  be  found  who  thought  it  quite  wise  to  ad- 


146  PANDOfiA. 

minister  to  one  guilty  of  such  unpardonably  ill-planned 
and  short-sighted  indiscretion. 

"How  did  we  get  out  of  that  dreadful  place?"  I 
asked  my  would-be  benefactor,  when  the  cold  water 
cure,  in  the  hands  of  a  young  physician — principally 
famed  for  "affections  of  the  heart"1 — had  restored  me 
to  a  sense  of  my  position. 

"How?"  she  echoed,  looking  as  though  she  would 
prefer  to  return  to  her  former  treatment  of  me. 
"Why,  you  foolish  child,  with  the  key  that  locked  the 
door,  of  course." 

"Then  you  know  who  did  it?"  I  asked,  believing  I 
saw  a  gleam  of  hope. 

She  laughed  good-naturedly. 

"Certainly,  we  do;  you  simpletons  made  it  only  too 
palpable.  The  key  was  found  precisely  where  it  had 
dropped  from  the  locked  door  inside,  and  reached  by 
us  from  without.  I  cannot  comprehend  such  a  culpa 
ble  display  of  blockheadedness,"  with  a  sigh.  "One 
would  not  have  expected  it  from  an  adept  in  deceit  such 
as  he  has  proved  himself  to  be.  No  wonder  you 
fainted,  when  we  found  you,  you  poor  thing.  Mrs. 
Smart  is  dreadfully  incensed,  and  mortified  about  the 
matter,  of  course,  particularly  as  Beverly  has  fumed  so 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS.  147 

about  her  little  escapades.  Whether  they  were  inno 
cent  or  not,  we  can  only  surmise,  for  Mrs.  Beverly  has 
remarkable  tact.  It  is  all  in  that,  my  dear,  you  know, 
and  we  must  admire  her  for  it.  It  was  a  humiliating 
position  for  her  to  be  in,  too,  and,  of  course,  one  cannot 
but  help  sympathize  with  her.  You  see  she  had  sent 
Beverly  for  her  diamonds — which,  by  the  way,  she  has 
since  found — and  becoming  alarmed  at  his  protracted 
absence,  asked  a  searching  party  to  look  for  him  with 
her." 

I  was  overwhelmed  with  amazement  and  horror  at 
the  cruel  net  that  had  been  wound  around  us,  in  which 
I  could  plainly  see  double  design,  while  my  companion 
regarded  me  sympathetically.  Brooding  over  my 
wrongs  finally  gave  me  strength.  I  raised  myself  upon 
my  feet,  protesting  my  innocence,  and  stating  the  case 
as  it  stood,  and  was  rewarded  by  an  incredulous  but 
indulgent  smile  at  what  she  no  doubt  believed  to  be  my 
remarkable  inventive  genius. 

"My  dear,  it's  of  no  use,"  she  said,  shaking  her  head 
slowly  and  wisely  from  side  to  side.  "The  whole 
thing  is  self-evident.  The  only  hope  for  you  now  is  to 
'face  the  music'  with  the  best  possible  grace,  and  in 
time  you  will  live  it  down.  You  will  accomplish  it  bet- 


148  PANDORA. 

ter  by  assuming  a  bold  front,  and  keeping  in  the  good 
graces  of  the  leaders  of  our  set;  if  they  can  overlook  it, 
the  followers  will.  Do  not  resent  any  little  chilling  re 
ception  you  may  be  subjected  to,  because,  of  course, 
they  will  grasp  this  opportunity  to  down  you  if  they 
can,  out  of  jealousy,  if  nothing  else.  Just  laugh  and 
talk,  flirt,  and  be  merry  the  same  as  you  have  always 
done.  You  can  afford  to  do  it,  too,  with  your  beauty. 
In  other  words,  make  them  believe  you  are  a  privileged 
character,  and  they  cannot  afford  to  slight  you." 

"But  I  have  done  nothing  to  merit  their  disapprov 
al,"  I  persisted  impatiently.  "If  they  slight  me,  I 
should  demand  an  explanation,  and  make  them  listen 
to  reason.  If  they  will  not,  I  do  not  want  their  pat 
ronage.  I  am  the  victim  of  the  duplicity  of  others, 
and  I  shall  not  suffer  in  silence;  then  I  am  not  the  only 
one  whose  reputation  is  at  stake;  there  is  poor  Beverly 
Smart  who  is  the  soul  of  honor,  and  my — " 

I  was  going  to  say  my  husband  but  stopped  abruptly; 
the  hypocrisy  of  the  thing  appealed  to  me.  Of  what 
use  to  fight  for  a  cause  already  lost?  "Why  walk  out 
of  the  way  to  avoid  one  falling  rock,  when  an  inevitable 
avalanche  awaited  me?  It  was  easy  to  get  on  the 
glass  railroad,  but  oh,  how  hard  to  get  off. 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS.  14.9 

Once  again  I  could  see  my  husband's  kind,  pleading 
face  as  I  had  last  seen  it,  through  eyes  half  blinded  by 
angry  tears,,  and  hear  the  steady  tread,  tread  of  his  feet 
through  the  long,  silent  room,  an  unuttered  groan  in 
every  step,  a  heart  wrench  at  every  turn.  I  could  see 
the  classic  head  bowed  down  with  disappointment,  and 
the  strong,  manly  shoulders  stooped  with  sorrow,  which 
would  so  willingly  have  borne  mine  now,  had  I  not  put 
it  out  of  his  power. 

"It  is  to  save  you,  perhaps,  still  greater  cause  for 
tears,  I  now  insist  upon  this  speedy  departure." 

How  well  he  had  known  me,  better  even  than  I  did 
myself. 

My  new  friend  was  a  woman  of  the  world,  and  per 
haps  surmised  something  of  the  abrupt  termination  to 
my  righteous  indignation;  but  my  championship  of 
poor  Beverly  Smart  was  more  than  her  patience  could 
endure. 

"Have  you  not  sense  enough  to  see,"  she  snapped, 
"that  in  trying  to  vindicate  him  you  only  convict  your 
self?  Never  mind  Beverly;  a  man — with  money  es 
pecially — is  never  hurt  by  calumny,  just  or  unjust. 
You  will  have  all  you  can  do  to  uphold  your  own  posi 
tion  and  reputation,  for  society  will  not  soon  forgive 


150  PANDORA. 

anything  which  once  gets  into  the  papers,  and  that  will 
be  a  natural  consequence  if  you  endeavor  to  clear  your 
self.  You  may,  as  you  say,  be  the  victim  of  a  plot,  but 
you  will  have  difficulty  in  making  anyone  believe  it, 
and  one  cannot  in  safety  make  accusations  without  tan 
gible  proof.  You  see  you  have  'not  a  leg  to  stand  on/ 
unless  you  take  my  advice ;  so  cheer  up,  and  I  will  help 
you  'beard  the  lion  in  his  den/  with  the  assistance  of 
our  mutual  friend;  so  here  is  that  you  may  live  to  down 
all  your  enemies,  and  use  better  judgment  from  this 
experience." 

She  raised  a  flask  of  old  "port"  to  her  lips,  drank, 
and  made  me  finish  the  remainder  with  the  remark 
that,  "The  spilling  of  wine  meant  a  spilling  of  blood 
and  she  must  return  the  flask  empty  to  her  pocket." 

So  I  partook  again  of  my  now  habitual  refuge,  and 
permitted  myself  to  be  led  around  the  winding  path  to 
the  rest  of  the  party.  The  cougar  had  its  teeth  se 
curely  fastened  in  my  throat;  what  would  it  avail  me  to 
oppose  my  one  champion? 

So  I  chatted,  and  laughed,  flirted  and  joked,  took 
snubs,  rebuffs,  and  cuts  outright  without  resentment, 
and  in  every  respect  played  out  my  little  game  of  self- 
renunciation  to  perfection,  gaining  the  secret  admira- 


FAVORS  VERSUS  DISFAVORS. 


tion,  but  only  partial  toleration,  of  outraged  femininity, 
the  increased  attention  and  marked  presumption  of 
enamored  masculinity,  the  approving  nod  of  my  ad 
viser,  and  the  reproachful  hunted  glance  of  my  fellow 
sufferer,  hating  myself  at  the  end  for  not  having  had 
the  courage  to  stand  by  my  colors,  and  trust  to  chance, 
or  some  benign  influence  to  clear  me. 


CHAPTEE  XIV. 

DREAMS. 

"I  do  not  love  thee  less  for  what  is  done, 
And  cannot  be  undone.    Thy  very  weakness 
Hath  brought  thee  nearer  to  me,  and  henceforth 
My  love  will  have  a  sense  of  pity  in  it, 
Majdng  it  less  a  worship  than  before." 

At  the  end,  I  have  said,  for  in  this  world  even  tor 
ment  of  one  particular  kind  has  a  termination.  If  it 
were  not  so  we  might  accustom  ourselves  to  it,  and  it 
would  no  longer  be  deemed  such.  'Tis  the  different 
degrees  which  make  up  our  sum  of  wretchedness  and 
are  so  difficult  to  bear,  whether  deserving  or  not;  for 
some  have  their  full  measure  of  ills  in  this  life,  others 
more  guilty  in  another  existence.  But  the  day  was 
over,  and  I  was  about  retiring  to  my  rooms  to  suffer 
the  reaction  undisturbed,  when  someone  called  my 
name.  I  turned  distractedly  and  found  myself  facing 
once  again  Mr.  Scrimmons,  my  male  friend  of  the  un 
equally  distributed  sentences,  wearing  an  "Is  that  so  ?" 
expression  upon  his  Y.  M.  C.  A.  physiognomy.  I  was 

(153) 


154  PANDORA. 

not  looking  for  a  father  confessor,  and  fear  my  appear 
ance  indicated  it. 

"Well?"  I  said,  with  an  interrogation  point  which 
never  contained  so  much  of  brevity,  but  the  "wheels" 
in  his  head  had  revolved  to  the  communicative  point 
again  and  would  not  be  suppressed  until  the  informa 
tion  had  exhausted  itself. 

"I  have  something  to  say  which  may  or  may  not  be 
of  importance  to  you,"  he  said,  "but  I  could  not  sleep 
until  I  had  relieved  my  mind  of  the  matter,  and  would 
be  glad  if  you  could  spare  me  a  few  minutes  of  your 
time." 

There  was  an  earnestness  in  the  appeal  and  manner 
which  could  not  be  overlooked,  and  seeing  him  cast 
uneasy  glances  toward  the  few  straggling  boarders,  and 
from  them  to  the  near  proximity  to  my  rooms,  I  took 
the  cue  and  strolled  wearily  away  down  the  corridor 
with  him,  where  we  could  see  and  be  seen. 

"If  what  I  have  to  say  is  of  any  service  to  you,"  he 
began,  when  we  had  seated  ourselves  upon  chairs  quite 
four  feet  apart,  "I  hope  you  will  overlook  my  having 
withheld  it  so  long,  but  the  truth  is,"  and  there  was 
such  an  air  of  constraint  and  regret  in  his  tone  and 
bearing,  so  different  from  the  spontaneous  combustion 
of  the  morning,  I  involuntarily  and  respectfully  drew 


DREAMS.  155 

my  chair  nearer,  "you  seemed  so  happy  and  at  peace 
with  your  accusers,  I  thought  my  information  might  be 
out  of — forgive  me — well,  out  of  place,  you  know/' 

I  dropped  my  head  apathetically  and  wondered  what 
was  coming,  he  taking  advantage  of  the  apathy  to 
move  his  chair  away  again. 

"You  see,  after  that  woman  had  called  you  away 
while  we  were  talking  this  afternoon  I  did  not,  as  you 
no  doubt  both  expected,  return  to  the  rest  of  the  party. 
In  place  of  that  I  watched  Mrs.  Smart's  proceedings 
from  behind  some  bushes,  for  I  had  seen  her  previous 
maneuvers  with  that  man  Ferrars,  and  having  known 
her  longer  than  you,  had  a  feeling  I  might  be  of  some 
future  service  to  you.  Well,  I  saw  you  separate,  and 
the  point  aimed  for;  then  I  turned  my  attention  to  Mrs. 
Smart,  who  I  knew  had  sent  you  from  her  gestures, 
and  was  rewarded  by  seeing  her  join  the  man  Ferrars 
again  with  every  indication  of  fiendish  glee  upon  her 
face.  They  talked  earnestly  a  few  minutes,  then  sepa 
rated  again,  she  returning  to  the  rest  of  the  company, 
he  following  you. 

CCI  became  very  uneasy  at  this  last  move,  and  con 
cealing  myself  from  view  at  various  points,  followed  as 
closely  upon  his  heels  as  I  thought  advisable,  not  being 
sure  of  anything,  but  close  enough  to  come  to  your  aid 


156  PANDORA. 

if  I  heard  any  outcry,  for  his  actions  were  too  sneaking 
to  bode  much  good. 

"Well,  I  saw  him  go  to  the  door  of  the  hut  in  which 
you  had  just  entered,  and  was  surprised  to  see  him  re 
main  only  a  moment,  and  then  quickly  retreat  in  the 
direction  of  Mrs.  Smart. 

"Not  feeling  perfectly  assured  yet,  I  waited  to  see 
you  come  out — ten,  fifteen,  twenty,  thirty  minutes,  a 
half  hour  by  my  watch;  still  you  did  not  emerge,  and  I 
was  on  the  point  of  getting  someone  to  accompany  me 
and  solve  the  mystery,  for  I  thought  you  might  not 
approve  of  my  going  alone,  when  I  saw  almost  our  en 
tire  party  making  for  that  direction,  headed  by  Mr. 
Ferrars,  and  watched  them  bring  you  out  unconscious, 
with  the  addition  of  Mr.  Smart,  who  seemed  to  be 
quite  as  helpless  through  nervousness.  I  joined  them 
then,  and  in  silence  heard  their  criticisms,  in  which 
Mr.  Ferrars  was  the  leader  again.  I  kept  silent  then, 
because  I  wanted  time  to  think,  and  when  I  saw  after 
ward  how  lightly  you  regarded  the  matter,  I  drew  my 
own  conclusions  and  kept  my  own  counsel." 

His  recital  had  a  peculiarly  tormenting  effect  upon 
me.  I  felt  like  one  who  had  unnecessarily  submitted 
to  the  torture  of  being  perforated  for  hours  with  poi 
soned  pins;  partly  for  the  pleasure  it  afforded  the  per- 


DREAMS.  157 

petrators,  and  partly  because  of  a  recklessness  induced 
by  a  previously  larger  and  supposedly  fatal  wound  hav 
ing  been  inflicted,  which  if  taken  in  time  could  have 
been  cleansed  of  the  venom.  And  Mr.  Scrimmons  as 
the  physician  who  held  my  fate  in  his  hands,  but  whose 
professional  etiquette  would  not  permit  of  his  offering 
his  services  or  prescribing  a  remedy. 

Having  "relieved  his  mind,"  he  rose  to  go.  I  also 
rose  and  followed  him,  absently,  for  I  had  said  noth 
ing  in  my  own  defense  because  I  had  nothing  to  say. 
My  shame  was  I  had  been  particularly  affable  to  Mr. 
Ferrars  since  the  affair,  for  fear  of  him;  still  I  felt  he 
— Mr.  Scrimmons — should  not  be  allowed  to  go  in  that 
way,  and  I  recalled  him. 

He  fell  back  in  silence,  waiting  for  me  to  speak. 

"Will  you  please  tell  him- — Mr. — my  husband,  what 
— you — have — just — told  me?" 

"Certainly,  if  you  wish  it." 

We  had  been  slowly  walking  back  to  where  he  first 
accosted  me,  when  to  my  surprise  he  stopped  abruptly 
in  front  of  my  husband's  suite,  and  without  warning 
opened  the  door,  as  though  expecting  me  to  enter. 

I  was  greatly  discomfited.  In  the  first  place,  I  had 
not  known  of  his  return,  and  was  so  taken  off  my  guard 
as  to  admit  of  the  ignorance,  yet  I  was  ashamed  to 


158  PANDORA. 

have  it  known  matters  were  not  such  that  I  could  enter 
and  welcome  him. 

"Oh,  no,  not  now,  I — I  meant  if — if  he  should  ask 
you,"  I  stammered,  having  acquired  a  great  regard  for 
the  wisdom  of  fools. 

"Is  that  so?"  he  replied,  having  run  down  again, 
and  I  had  hoped  he  would  move  on,  but  he  stood  there, 
as  though  determined  to  see  me  safely  in. 

Through  the  half -open  door  I  could  see  my  husband 
in  the  room  beyond  reclining  in  an  easy  chair.  His 
eyes  were  closed;  he  was  asleep.  I  would  slip  in  noise 
lessly  so  as  not  to  awaken  him,  remaining  only  long 
enough  to  evade  my  persistent  pursuer,  and  then  slip 
out  unnoticed. 

"Good  night,"  I  said  softly,  and  closing  the  door, 
still  more  so,  listened  anxiously  for  Mr.  Scrimmons' 
footsteps  to  die  away,  but  they  did  not  even  move; 
someone  had  entered  into  conversation  with  him  just 
where  he  stood. 

I  looked  fearfully  toward  Mr.  Macdonald  lest  he 
should  waken,  but  he  had  every  appearance  of  being 
wrapped  in  the  slumber  of  complete  exhaustion.  On 
the  table  near  by  lay  a  partly  written  letter,  and  be 
tween  its  folds  I  could  easily  detect  a  photograph.  An 
alluring  fire  danced  and  sparkled  in  the  open  grate, 


DREAMS.  159 

emitting  at  short  intervals  a  crackling  and  sputtering 
which  would  cause  me  to  start  guiltily,  and  which  made 
long,  arm-like  flames  leap  out  toward  me,  as  though 
beckoning  my  nearer  approach,  then  falling  back,  sud 
denly  transformed  themselves  into  mocking,  grimac 
ing  demons. 

The  reflection  from  the  lurid  glare  had  cast  a  per 
fect  halo  around  the  sleeper's  head  where  it  lay,  other 
wise  in  the  shadow  of  the  dark  leathern  upholstered 
chair.  Perhaps  it  was  this  great  contrast  that  made 
him  appear  pale,  and  combined  with  that  other  illu 
sion,  more  of  Heaven  than  earth;  but  my  eyes  seemed 
fascinated  by  his  peaceful  face. 

Scarcely  more  than  convalescing  from  illness,  wear 
ied  in  mind  and  body  from  the  long  strain  upon  both, 
footsore,  skirt  bedraggled,  dusty,  and  humiliated,  the 
scene  by  contrast  seemed  strangely  restful,  and  like  a 
wounded  fawn  I  would  have  thought  it  a  privilege  to 
have  lain  there,  never  to  wake  again,  were  it  not  for 
the  thought  of  that  last  stab  that  would  surely  over 
take  me.  No,  it  could  not  be;  I  must  bestir  myself, 
conceal  the  pain  of  my  wound,  and  continue  rny  old 
pace,  live  my  lie  out  to  the  death.  But  first — I  crept 
quietly,  cautiously  on  tip-toe  toward  him,  possessed  of 
an  overmastering  desire  to  know  to  whom  he  had  been 


160  PANDORA. 

writing;  and  that  picture — whose  could  it  be?  Surely, 
someone  he  must  hold  in  great  esteem,  perhaps  love, 
that  he  must  devote  the  first  moments  of  his  return  to 
her,  exhausted  and  all  as  he  was.  There  was  no  doubt 
of  its  being  a  woman,  as  it  was  not  in  the  order  of 
things  for  one  man  to  keep  the  carte  de  visite  of  even 
his  dearest  male  friend  so  jealously  near  while  writing. 
My  hand  trembled  as  I  reached  out  for  the  sheet  of 
writing  paper  and  enclosed  picture,  shaking  like  an  as 
pen  leaf  while  I  held  the  latter  up  to  the  light,  then 
grew  steadier.  I  thought  I  had  never  seen  a  sweeter 
or  more  beautiful  face.  It  was  that  of  an  old  lady  with 
snowy  hair,  innumerable  little  curls  of  which  fell  in 
careless  grace  from  beneath  a  softly  frilled  white  cap. 
The  gentle,  guileless  blue  eyes  looked  back  into  my 
young,  worldly-wise,  saddened  ones  with  a  motherly, 
protective  gaze,  startling  me  from  their  resemblance 
to  my  husband.  An  elastic  band  clasped  it  to  another 
and  larger  picture,  like  this  one.  I  turned  it  over  and 
was  held  spell-bound  by  a  charming  pastoral  scene 
upon  the  banks  of  a  grand  old  river — a  river  I  knew 
so  well  and  loved. 


DREAMS.  161 

"Oh,  them  broad  and  grand  St.  Lawrence, 
Flowing  onward  to  the  sea, 
Fraught  with  pleasant  recollections 
Are  thy  sunny  banks  to  me. 
Happy  hours  I've  passed  beside  thee 
Where  thy  bright  blue  waters  flow, 
With  the  vaulted  Heavens  reflected 
On  thy  glassy  waves  below." 

Upon  it  my  old  home  was  situated.  How  often, 
when  a  child,  with  the  ever  faithful  Nurse  Fetterly  at 
my  heels,  had  I  dabbled  my  little  bare  feet  in  its  cool 
ing  waters,  and  in  later  years,  with  Leo,  my  brother, 
and  his  college  friends' — still  more  faithful  attendants 
— indulged  in  the  different  pastimes  it  afforded,  ac 
cording  to  the  varying  seasons — fishing,  rowing,  sail 
ing,  and  wild  fowl  shooting,  or  skating,  sliding,  and 
sleighing  upon  its  broad,  frozen  surface,  returning  with 
the  glow  of  health  upon  our  faces,  and  filled  with 
happy  anticipation  of  all  the  to-morrows. 

It  is  strange  how  one  learns  to  look  backward.  I 
had  all  my  life  before  me,  and  yet  there  seemed  no 
more  to-morrows.  It  was  all  yesterday,  and,  even  had 
I  been  able  to  look  forward,  it  would  still  have  been  a 
going  back. 


162  PANDORA. 

At  the  top  of  a  gradually  sloping  hill,  sheltered  from 
the  hot  suns  of  midsummer  by  Canada's  emblematical 
maple  trees,  an  old  fashioned  homestead  revealed  it 
self — such  a  one  as  is  only  seen  in  settlements  a  cen 
tury  old  or  more — with  its  numberless  gables  and  little 
latticed  dormer  windows  bulging  out  in  all  directions 
like  an  overfilled  Christmas  stocking,  and  large  French 
windows  below,  which  a  peep  through  in  winter  would 
seem  to  reveal  somewhere  one  of  those  once  seen 
never-to-be-forgotten  wide,  open  fireplaces,  with  shining 
brass  andirons,  supporting  huge,  eternally  blazing  logs; 
with  the  glimpse  of  a  mystical  forest  in  the  rear,  show 
ing  from  where  the  logs  might  come,  while  on  either 
side  just  sufficient  could  be  seen  of  orchards,  wheat 
fields,  and  pastures,  with  sleek-looking  cattle  content 
edly  grazing — all  in  such  perfect  harmony  as  to  con 
vince  one  that  the  delights  of  living  in  the  country 
were  underestimated.  At  the  back  of  this  picture, 
written  in  a  trembling  hand,  I  read: 

"My  dear  old  childhood's  home,  remodeled  and  re 
stored  to  me  after  years  of  separation' — through  the 
devotion  and  exertions  of  my  precious  boy,  Donald." 

With  a  feeling  between  self -torture  and  desecration, 
I  picked  up  the  letter  in  my  husband's  handwriting. 


DREAMS.  163 

Only  a  few  lines;  he  had  evidently  been  overcome  by 
sleep  at  its  start,     It  began — 
"Dear  old  Mother: 

"This,  as  you  know,  is  my  birthday — its  eve — andj 
the  first  one  your  boy  has  ever  passed  away  from  home; 
and,  mother,  none  but  yourself  can  understand  the 
trial  it  has  been  to  me,  or  how  homesick,  tired,  and 
lonely  I—" 

I  felt  myself  growing  sick  and  dizzy;  the  room,  my 
husband,  everything  seemed  a  wave-like  mist.  A  ter 
ror  came  upon  me  that  I  should  faint,  and  quickly  re 
placing  the  intercepted  articles  I  hurried  toward  the 
door,  but  was  forced  for  fear  of  falling  to  sink  into  a 
chair.  I  closed  my  eyes,  believing  the  sensation  would 
pass  o£E  in  a  moment,  but,  whether  it  was  dizziness, 
heat,  wine,  utter  exhaustion,  or  all  combined,  I  waa 
instantly  transported  to  the  same  beatific  region  of 
forgetfulness  as  my  husband — "dreaming  dreams  no 
mortal  ever  dared  to  dream  before." 

When  one  succumbs,  it  is  usually  the  last  waking 
thoughts,  impressions,  conversations,  scenes,  etc., 
which,  forming  themselves  into  tangible  shape,  with 
one's  self  as  the  principal,  will  carry  us  away  some 
times  with  a  reality  both  startling  and  difficult  to  dis 
pel  or  define.  It  is  the  inconsistencies  which  assist 


164  PANDORA. 

us  usually  in  banishing  the  hallucination;  but  when,  as 
is  sometimes  the  case,  there  is  a  clear  connection,  as 
smooth  as  the  plot  of  a  well-written  novel,  one  may  be 
deceived  even  in  waking  moments,  especially  when  the 
real  surroundings  harmonize  with  the  imaginary  ones. 
But  let  the  slightest  touch  of  a  discordant  note  sound, 
how  quickly  the  illusion  will  dispel  itself! 

I  awoke  then,  for  my  eyes  were  wide  open  and  look 
ing  confidingly  into  those  of  my  husband,  which 
beamed  back  upon  me  with  an  expression  of  supreme 
beatitude.  His  chair  was  drawn  close  to  mine.  My 
hand  lay  confidingly  in  his.  I  experienced  a  feeling  of 
comfort  and  happiness  such  as  I  had  never  known. 

"Dear  little  wife/'  he  murmured,  drawing  me  to 
ward  him.  "Has  she  learned  to  love  me  a  little,  at 
last?" 

My  head  drooped  naturally  and  willingy  upon  his 
strong  shoulder,  resting  there  contentedly.  An  inex 
plicable  something  had  thawed  out  all  the  frost  from 
my  nature.  I  felt  inexpressibly  relieved  that  it  was 
so. 

"  'Twas  kind  of  you  to  creep  in  here  quietly  when  I 
was  asleep,  so  as  not  to  waken  me,  and  give  me  a  birth 
day  surprise.  My  little  wife  is  after  all  very  thought 
ful- — more  so  than  I  gave  her  credit  for  being,  I  fear; 


DREAMS.  1(35 

but  we  will  try  and  understand  each  other  better  now, 
won't  we,  darling  ?" 

He  raised  my  lips  to  his,  and  was  satisfied  with  that 
assent. 

How  happy  I  was! 

"But  how  did  you  know  it  was  my  birthday,  dear  ?" 
he  asked  again,  looking  puzzled. 

"Why,  you  told  me,  you  dear  old  simpleton,"  I  re 
plied  quite  naturally,  clasping  my  fingers  about  his 
neck,  and  drawing  his  head  down  until  his  cheek  rested 
against  mine. 

"Did  I?"  thoughtfully.  "Oh,  well/'  reassured,  "my 
nap  has  probably  driven  it  out  of  my  head." 

Such  is  the  power  of  dreams. 

"And  how  has  the  wife  passed  her  time  while  I  was 
away?"  he  queried,  after  the  manner  of  new  husbands 
who  have  been  forced  to  absent  themselves  for  ever  so 
short  a  time.  "I  hope  she  did  not  mope  because  of  the 
restrictions  I  put  upon  her." 

"Away?  Restrictions?"  I  looked  up  into  his  face 
confusedly,  and  disengaging  my  arms  from  his  em 
brace,  rubbed  my  eyes  vigorously;  then  I  noticed  the 
clothes  he  wore  were  rough,  working  ones,  such  as 
constituted  his  attire  while  on  surveying  trips,  and 
from  them  I  turned  to  my  own  dust-stained,  bedrag- 


166  PANDORA. 

gled  ones;  then  back  to  the  table  where  I  had  seen  him 
on  first  entering. 

He  had  struck  a  discordant  note! 

I  looked  up  into  his  face  again,  pathetically,  re 
morsefully,  pleadingly,  and  then  in  despair  I  buried 
my  face  in  my  hands  and  wept  convulsively. 

Such  is  tlie  awakening. 

He  allowed  the  paroxysm  to  exhaust  itself  uninter 
ruptedly,  and  as  the  last  sob  died  away  and  the  last  tear 
dried  itself,  it  seemed  almost  as  though  the  flood-gates 
of  my  heart  had  been  thrown  open  suddenly,  permit 
ting  all  the  pent-up  pride,  anger,  and  bitterness  of  a 
lifetime  to  escape  with  them. 

Still  he  sat  there  like  one  transfixed — quiet,  grave, 
and  dubious,  awaiting  an  explanation;  and,  determined 
to  throw  myself  upon  his  mercy,  I  laid  bare  th§.  whole 
wretched  story  of  a  day's  doing  and  my  own  undoing, 
not  omitting  Mr.  Scrimmons'  addition;  then  sank  back 
exhausted  and  trembling  to  await  the  result. 

Still  no  word  passed  his  lips.  I  could  not  read  his 
thoughts,  for  he  had  turned  his  head  to  one  side  at  the 
beginning  of  my  recital,  and,  with  one  elbow  upon  an 
arm  of  the  chair,  one  hand  answered  the  double  pur 
pose  of  supporting  his  head  and  shading  his  eyes.  It 


DREAMS. 


might  be  the  attitude  of  one  in  deep  meditation,  pray 
er,  or  intense  mental  suffering. 

Fully  a  half  hour  passed;  still  no  sound.  I  could 
tolerate  the  suspense  no  longer.  I  thought  I  could 
have  borne  anything  better  than  the  dreadful  silence. 

"Surely/'  I  said,  touching  him  lightly  upon  the  arm, 
"you  do  not  doubt  me?  You  cannot  think  —  " 

A  sob  in  my  voice  checked  further  utterance. 

The  action  roused  him.  S-lowly  he  withdrew  his 
hand  from  his  face,  and  I  was  surprised  at  the  change 
that  had  been  wrought  in  him.  He  looked  fully  ten 
years  older. 

"Think?"  he  repeated,  rising  aimlessly,  and  looking 
down  at  me  through  eyes  from  which  all  happiness  had 
fled.  "Were  it  not  for  the  sin  of  it,  I  could  almost 
wish  I  were  forever  deprived  of  that  power.  Doubt 
you?  No.  "Would  to  God  I  could  doubt  that  you  have 
just  told  me!  I  believe  —  no  more,  no  less.  Neither 
have  I  any  reproaches.  You  have  sat  in  false  judg 
ment  upon  yourself.  It  only  remains  for  me  to  make 
my  wife  appear  a  liar,  that  she  may  be  the  better  be 
lieved." 

By  this  time  my  tears  had  begun  to  flow  afresh. 

"It  is  not  my  purpose  to  cause  you  unnecessary 
pain/'  he  said,  laying  his  hand  gently  upon  my  bowed 


168  PANDORA. 

head.  "One's  own  sins  will  always  find  one  out.  I 
would  be  glad  to  think  your  sufferings  would  end  here. 
At  God's  altar  you  promised  to  love,  honor,  and  obey 
me.  I  anticipated  the  two  former — I  expected  the  lat 
ter.  It  may  be  your  shortcomings  are  due  to  my  own 
deficiencies;  and  I  would  be  willing  to  bear  the  burden 
if  by  so  doing  your  own  could  be  lightened." 

There  are  occasions  when  kindness  is  most  cruel; 
this  was  one  of  those.  My  tears  flowed  the  faster,  and 
refused  to  be  repressed.  My  sobs  increased  tenfold. 
In  vain  he  pleaded  with  me  to  desist,  assuring  me  again 
and  again  of  his  complete  forgiveness;  all  to  no  pur 
pose,  and,  completely  nonplused,  he  sent  for  Bernice, 
declaring  he  had  a  business  matter  of  the  utmost  im 
portance  which  needed  his  immediate  attention,  and 
requesting  that  she  take  me  to  my  rooms  and  assist  me 
to  bed,  as  my  nerves  had  been  all  unstrung  by  a  mis 
hap. 

"Good-by,  little  wife,"  he  said,  kissing  me  gravely 
upon  the  lips,  and  then  whispering  reassuredly  in  my 
ear.  "Try  and  forget  it,  and  to-morrow  we  will  begin 
life  anew,  and  whatever  happens  always  remember  that 
I  forgave  you." 

But  I  clung  to  him  tenaciously,  pushing  Bernice 
away. 


DREAMS. 

"There  is  something  else/'  I  stammered  between  my 
sobs. 

"Fever  mind  now,"  he  interrupted,  endeavoring  to 
appear  calm,  and  putting  me  gently  from  him.  "I 
will  see  Scrimmons  to-night;  no  doubt  he  will  tell  it 
all;  if  not,  you  will  be  calmer  to-morrow." 

To-morrow — always  to-morrow! 

I  was  still  reluctant  to  leave. 

"You  must  scold  her  if  you  want  her  to  go,"  Ber- 
nice  whispered  audibly  to  my  husband.  "If  you  try  to 
reason  with  them  they  get  worse;  a  little  rough  treat 
ment  and  some  chloral  would  quiet  her  down  good." 

Bernice  had  at  one  time  been  an  attendant  in  a  pri 
vate  asylum  for  insane  women;  and  suiting  the  action 
to  the  words,  she  took  me  not  too  gently  by  the  arm, 
and  was  bearing  me  away  in  triumph,  for  I  had  grasped 
the  last  suggestion  eagerly.  "A  little  chloral  might 
make  me  sleep,"  and  then — yes,  "to-morrow"  I  might 
"be  calmer":,  but  I  caught  a  look  in  my  husband's  face 
as  we  passed  out,  which  said — 

"To-morrow  Bernice  shall  go." 


CHAPTER  XV. 

AWAKENINGS. 

"He  strode  to  Gauthier,  in  his  throat 
Gave  him  the  lie,  then  struck  his  mouth 

With  one  back-handed  blow  that  wrote 
In  blood  men's  verdict  there.    North,  south, 

East,  west  I  looked.    The  lie  was  dead 
And  damned,  and  truth  stood  up  instead." 

Yes,  the  chloral  had  made  me  sleep  through  the  long 
hours  of  the  silent  night;  a  sleep  for  which"  I  shall 
never  forgive  myself,  or  Bernice — because  of  the 
awakening. 

The  gray  dawn  crept  stealthily  into  my  window,  and 
about  that  time  the  key  of  my  door  softly  turned  in 
the  lock.  Strange  that  it  should  have  roused  me,  and 
then  I  could  be  permitted  to  lapse  into  unconscious 
ness  again,  but  it  did. 

"Is  that  you,  Bernice  ?"  I  called,  half  dreamily,  and 
almost  the  next  instant  was  breathing  heavily  again, 
the  stupid,  unrefreshing  sleep  produced  by  an  opiate. 

"Sh,"  one  feminine  voice  said  to  another,  'let  her 
sleep  while  she  can,"  and  the  door  softly  closed  again. 

(171) 


172  PANDORA. 

There  are  sights,  smells,  or  sounds  reminiscent  of 
past  delights  or  dreads,  the  slightest  consciousness  of, 
or  contact  with  which  will  awaken  memories  bitter  or 
sweet,  as  the  case  may  be,  and  produce  an  effect  upon 
our  senses  either  disastrous  or  delicious,  seemingly  far 
in  excess  of  the  occasion.  To  me,  the  mystery  of  a 
softly  closing  door  will  distract  me  more  than  the 
squeakiest  hinge  or  noisiest  slamming  of  that  medium 
of  exit  or  egress;  or  the  smell,  the  very  name,  of  chloral 
oppress  me  more  than  the  most  discordant  notes  or 
offensive  odors. 

A  little  laughing  sunbeam,  Aurora's  firstling,  peeped 
through  the  window  pane,  then  danced  and  sparkled 
upon  the  wall,  challenging  me  to  rise,  but  I  slept  on; 
then  the  door  opened  again — not  so  quietly  this  time. 
The  shutters  were  closed,  and  the  sunbeam  disap 
peared.  I  experienced  a  feeling  of  oppression — vague, 
indescribable,  uncertain  as  yet;  still  it  was  there,  and  I 
tried  to  remember  what  great  calamity  had  befallen 
me. 

"Bernice,"  I  called,  "what  is  wrong?  What  has 
happened?" 

It  was  not  Bernice  whom  I  saw  in  the  farthest  corner 
of  the  room,  pale  and  trembling;  her  slender  figure 
swayed  as  if  by  some  deep  emotion,  heroically  en- 


AWAKENINGS.  173 

deavoring  to  stifle  uncontrollable  sobs  with  the  aid  of  a 
handkerchief  pressed  tightly  against  her  lips. 

"You,  Mrs.  Neville  ?"  I  exclaimed,  raising  myself  in 
bed,  alarmed  not  alone  by  the  remembrance  of  her  ill 
ness,  for  it  did  not  require  any  very  quick  intuition 
now  to  convince  me  something  unusual  had  happened. 

"What,  oh!  tell  me  what  it  is?"  I  held  both  arms 
upraised  imploringly.  She  clasped  hers  about  my  neck 
sobbing — 

"Oh,  child,  why  did  they  make  me  leave  you?" 

Her  lips  were  blue.  Her  hands  and  feet — the  latter 
clothed  only  in  bath  slippers — icy  cold,  and  to  my  sur 
prise  I  saw  she  wore  nothing  additional  to  her  night 
robe  but  a  bath  gown. 

I  opened  the  bed-clothing  and  induced  her  to  come 
beneath,  but  her  teeth  chattered  so  it  was  many  min 
utes  before  I  dared  question  her,  though  enduring  the 
most  terrible  inward  torture  myself.  Then  I  offered 
her  some  brandy,  which  she  refused.  It  did  not  occur 
to  me  that  I  might  be  of  any  further  service,  though  the 
contact  of  her  clammy  hands  in  my  warm  ones  might 
have  induced  an  attempt  at  artificial  circulation.  My 
thoughts  were  elsewhere,  yet  I  experienced  the  great 
est  gratification  at  feeling  the  warm  blood  slowly 
course  through  her  fingers  and  the  shivering  subside. 


174  PANDORA. 

"Do  you  think  you  can  bear  to  hear  it  now?"  she 
finally  asked,  deceived  by  my  appearance,  for  I  had  set 
my  teeth  firmly,  and  prepared  myself  as  I  thought  for 
what  was  coming. 

"If  she  knows,  and  can  yet  love  me,  part  of  the  or 
deal  is  over,"  I  reasoned. 

"I  am  pre — pared,"  I  gasped,  drawing  in  my  breath, 
and  tightening  my  hold  upon  her  hand. 

After  a  long,  quivering  breath,  and  having  winked 
back  some  truant  tears,  not  entirely  in  sympathy  for 
me,  she  turned  her  head  aside  to  hide  her  misery. 

"Last  night,  after  I  had  retired,  my  nurse  tells  me 
two  envelopes  were  quickly  slipped  beneath  my  door. 
She  opened  the  latter  quickly  to  question  the  messen 
ger,  but  he  had  already  disappeared,  as  mysteriously  as 
he  came,  and  with  mistaken  consideration  for  me  she 
withheld  them  until  circumstances  forced  their  pres 
entation;  but  too  late.  Oh,  Mrs.  Macdonald,"  cover 
ing  her  face  with  both  hands  distractedly,  "are  there 
any  words  in  the  English  language  equal  in  bitterness 
to  those  two  ?" 

"None,"  I  said,  in  a  voice  that  was  half  a  groan. 

"One  of  those  envelopes  was  in  long,  legal,  documen 
tary  one,  containing  the  last  will  and  testament  of  a 
very  dear  friend  of  mine,  in  which  he  leaves  the  bulk 


AWAKENINGS.  175 

of  his  fortune  in  case  of  accident  to  his  nearest  and 
dearest.  The  other,  a  beautiful  letter  addressed  to 
me,  explaining  that  a  gross  insult  had  been  imposed  by 
a  scoundrel  upon  the  being  he  loved  most  upon  earth, 
and  whom  it  was  his  duty  to  protect;  that  he  proposed 
forthwith  to  choke  the  utterances  back  into  his  vil 
lainous  throat;  then,  armed  only  with  a  horsewhip, 
publicly  thrash  him;  and  in  the  event  of  ill  to  him 
self—" 

She  stopped  suddenly.  I  could  feel  her  now  warmer 
hands  tremble  in  my  rigid  ones,  unconsciously  grasp 
ing  hers  in  a  vise  which  must  have  been  painful.  I  let 
them  go  for  my  own  protection  as  well. 

Why  is  it,  for  the  time,  one  hates  the  bearer  of  ill- 
news  to  one's  self,  and  for  long  after  it  is  often  difficult 
to  eradicate  the  unjust  prejudice  from  one's  mind 
while  in  their  presence?  Yet,  one's  own  best  friends 
are  usually  selected  to  perform  such  missions — 

She  buried  her  face  upon  my  chest  moaning — 

"There  is  no  use;  I  cannot  do  it.  I  never  should 
have  undertaken  it." 

The  blood  seemed  to  have  frozen  in  my  veins;  my 
heart  to  have  stood  still. 

She  stole  a  glance  at  me;  my  eyes  were  fixed,  my 
face  immovable. 


176  PANDORA. 

"Go  on/'  I  said,  in  a  cold,  unresponsive  voice.  If 
she  had  delayed  I  don't  believe  I  could  have  prevented 
myself  from  throttling  her,  much  as  I  loved  her. 

She  took  up  the  thread  of  her  narrative  then  and 
spun  it,  rapidly,  jerkingly — like  one  who  had  lost  pa 
tience  with  my  indifference. 

"In — the — event — of- — ill — to — himself,  he  commis 
sioned — me  to — give  this  to  the  proper  person/'  lay 
ing  upon  my  breast  a  long,  blue,  documentary,  well- 
filled  envelope;  adding,  for  her,  almost  snappishly— 

"The  western  man  always  carries  a  pistol  and  re 
sents  chastisement — whether  deserved  or  otherwise — 
by  a  well-aimed  shot,-  trusting  to  the  western  courts  to 
acquit  him,  upon  the  grounds  of  self-defense." 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

RESULTS. 

"The  ghosts  of  forgotten  actions 

Came  floating  before  my  sight, 
And  things  that  I  thought  had  perished 

Were  alive  with  a  terrible  might." 

Two  days  later  the  newsboys,  those  most  indefatiga 
ble  of  street  urchins,  were  heralding  abroad  the  news 
of  an  elopement  in  local,  high  life1 — that  of  a  fugitive 
from  justice  with  the  wife  of  a  well-known  and  popu 
lar  young  capitalist — the  latter  having  gone  insane  in 
consequence. 

An  elopement  in  San  Francisco  is  more  of  an  event 
than  a  murder  or  suicide ;  but  when  following  upon  the 
heels  and  closely  connected  with  a  tragedy  is  a  matter 
of  unusual  interest  to  the  public,  as  well  as  speculation 
to  the  newsboy,  who  through  broad  experience  has 
learned  to  read  the  public  as  intelligently  as  they  do 
his  papers.  Broken  hearts  or  homes  are  as  nothing  to 
him  compared  to  a  lucrative  sale  of  this  rare  tid-bit. 
It  is  all  a  matter  of  business,  though  upon  a  small 
scale,  but  large  enough  to  him,  for  no  "items  of  inter- 

(177) 


178  PANDORA. 

est"  may  mean  no  supper  and  he  bends  all  his  endeav 
ors  to  the  point  at  issue. 

Up  and  down  the  street  he  goes,  on  and  off  street 
cars,  in  and  out  buildings,  shrieking  his  weird  heading 
into  the  ears  of  all,  and  each  and  every  competitor 
taking  up  the  refrain  as  he  proceeds,  until  it  is  borne 
along  our  street,  then  into  the  corridor  of  our  hotel, 
finally  reaching  Mrs.  Neville  and  myself,  where  we  sit 
in  my  husband's  apartments  in  awed  silence.  Her 
arms  are  about  me.  Her  moist  cheek  is  pressed  af 
fectionately  and  sympathetically  against  mine.  I  can 
not  bear  her  out  of  my  sight,  but  my  own  arms  hang 
listlessly  by  my  sides.  My  eyes  are  strained  always 
in  one  direction — to  the  white,  quiet  figure  before  me, 
which  will  never  rise  again  until  the  last  great  call. 

"Did  you  hear  that?"  she  asks,  endeavoring  to  rouse 
me  from  the  apathy  into  which  I  had  fallen. 

I  started,  for  the  day  of  the  calamity,  in  which  this 
man  Ferrars  had  also  been  the  criminal  actor,  I  had 
received  an  invitation  by  letter  to  fly  with  him,  couched 
in  the  most  audaciously  endearing  and  persuasive  lan 
guage.  Not  recognizing  the  writing,  and  believing  it  to 
be  but  a  letter  of  condolence,  I  had  asked  Mrs.  Neville 
to  open  it  for  me,  thereby  exhibiting  the  disgrace, 
though  merited  insult;  but  the  allowances  as  usual 


RESULTS.  179 

were  all  for  me.  She  had  been  overcome  with  indig 
nation  at  the  time ;  indeed,  I  had  known  no  other  oc 
casion  when  she  had  been  more  so,  while  I  had  said 
nothing,  but  my  cheeks  flamed  crimson,  then  faded 
away  to  a  deadly  white,  and  I  wonder  now  why  it  is 
God's  best  and  noblest  should  be  allowed  to  go,  and 
what  is  worse  than  worthless  remain  to  encumber  and 
poison  the  earth.  Is  it  that  the  souls  of  the  former 
are  already  perfected?  If  we  could  but  be  sure  of 
that,  the  honor  would  be  to  die,  the  punishment  to 
live.  But  there  are  many  who  leave  the  earth  appar 
ently  unfitted,  who  have  indulged  to  the  fullest  bent 
every  wish  of  the  heart,  every  desire  of  the  flesh — 
whose  every  hope  had  been  gratified,  every  dream  ful 
filled  in  this  sphere.  Is  hell  their  hereafter?  In  that 
case  one  would  trouble  less  about  the  trials  of  this 
life;  but  if  we  brought  it  upon  ourselves — what  then? 

I  did  not  care  to  discuss  the  elopement  nor  ques 
tion  as  to  how  it  came  about.  The  very  name  of  Fer- 
rars  was  a  knife-thrust  to  me,  while  the  insanity  of 
the  discarded  husband  seemed  a  natural  consequence. 
It  was  a  merciful  dispensation  of  Providence. 

"Poor  Beverly,"  I  said;  "it  is  better  so.  At  least 
he  cannot  think  and  he  has  no  reproaches.  Oh,  the 
agony  of  being  forced  to  think,  and  think  of  nothing 


180  PANDORA. 

else  but  that  it  was  I  who  killed  him,  I  who  sent  him 
to  his  death." 

"But  at  least  you  have  the  satisfaction  of  knowing 
he  loved  you  to  the  last,  and  died  in  defense  of 
your  good  name.  Your  honor  was  more  to  him  than 
life  itself.  You  stand  cleared  before  the  world  and 
will  meet  him  some  day  with  a  clear  conscience, 
where  there  are  no  more  mistakes,  no  more  tears, 
neither  sorrow  or  sighing.  Think  of  my  position, 
child,  and  you  may  learn  to  feel  less  wretched  by  com 
parison.  I  am  a  wife,  yet  no  wife,  unloved  and  put 
aside,  neglected,  and  forsaken.  I  have  children  who 
are  worse  than  motherless,  whom  I  am  not  even  per 
mitted  to  see,  and  who  may  in  time  be  taught  to  hate 
me,  yet  I  have  all  the  yearnings  of  a  mother,  and  de 
served  none  of  its  deprivations.  Then  compare  your 
lot  with  that  of  those  unfortunate  guilty  fugitives. 
Do  you  imagine  such  love  as  theirs,  if  it  is  love,  can 
last?  What  do  you  suppose  will  be  the  climax  when 
the  first  clash  occurs,  and  each  recalls  the  other's  frail 
ties,  and  that  they  are  indebted  only  to  one  another 
for  loss  of  caste  and  general  misfortune,  with  no  fu 
ture  ahead.  Oh,  child!  You  have  yet  to  learn  there 
are  worse  things  than  death." 

At  that  moment  a  porter  appeared  at  the  door. 


RESULTS.  181 

"A  gentleman  to  see  Mrs.  Macdonald;  he  would 
leave  no  card,  or  name,  but  said  the  lady  would  know, 
having  sent  for  him." 

"It  is  the  florist,"  I  said  wearily,  and  addressing 
Mrs.  Neville,  "I  was  expecting  to  call  for  instructions 
about  that  halo.''"  The  recollection  of  why  I  had  given 
the  order  brought  in  its  wake  a  flood  of  others  in 
finitely  sadder.  I  looked  at  the  empty,  cheerless  fire 
place  so  symbolical  of  my  feelings,  and  sighing  walked 
over  to  his  unoccupied  chair,  and,  crossing  my  arms 
upon  the  table  where  he  had  last  sat,  dropped  my  face 
upon  them. 

''That  was  a  beautiful  idea  of  yours,  dear,"  Mrs. 
Neville  said,  glad  of  a  diversion.  "You  will  need  yel 
low  flowers,  of  course;  the  question  is,  which  will  be 
most  suitable  ?  Had  we  not  better  have  the  man  come 
up?"  she  persisted,  endeavoring  her  utmost  to  inter 
est  me  in  the  subject:  but  I  only  nodded  assent,  sup 
posing  of  course  she  would  remain  and  discuss  the 
question  with  him;  but  to  distract  my  mind  from  its 
morbid  channel  was  her  one  aim  now. 

I  did  not  hear  her  leave  the  room  nor  the  door 
open  some  moments  later;  but  a  feeling  of  heaviness 
oppressed  me.  An  indefinitely  dreadful  something 
seemed  to  have  clutched  my  heart  and  stilled  its  beat- 


182  PANDORA. 

ings;  then  suddenly  relaxing  its  hold  cause  it  to  thump 
and  bound  with  renewed  energy,  so  that  I  could  dis 
tinctly  hear  each  rapid  pulsation. 

Was  I,  too,  going  insane,  or  did  someone  call  my 
name? 

"Pandora!" 

No  one  on  this  side  of  the  continent  addressed  me 
so. 

"Pandora!" 

There  it  was  again,  more  terribly  real,  and  yet  un 
real.  I  wanted  to  call  Mrs.  Neville,  but  did  not  dare. 

The  atmosphere  seemed  laden  with  the  stale,  strong 
odor  of  a  whisky  breath — sickening  and  compelling 
me  to  raise  my  head,  though  knowing  upon  what  my 
eyes  should  fall. 

It  was  worse  even  than  I  expected;  only  the  wreck, 
the  remnant  of  what  once  was,  and  even  yet  showed 
evidence  of  having  been,  attractive;  but  I  only  saw 
the  bloodshot  eyes,  trembling,  nerveless  hands,  twitch 
ing,  uncontrollable  features,  and,  thinking  of  that 
other  presence,  shuddered. 

"In  mercy's  name,  what  do  you  want?"  I  asked, 
though  knowing  only  too  well,  and  rising  to  my  feet 
in  the  desperation  of  my  feelings. 


RESULTS.  183 

Previous  to  this,  my  grief  had  made  me  oblivious 
to  everything;  now  my  shame  for  the  nonce  extermi 
nated  even  that. 

Truly,  Mrs.  Neville  could  not  have  devised  a  more 
effectual  cure  had  she  known;  but  the  remedy  was 
unsuited  to  the  disease. 

Like  the  ostrich  that  buries  its  head  in  the  sand 
when  pursued,  I  turned  my  own  aside  to  shut  out 
the  sight,  the  desecration,  and  with  as  little  effect. 

There  was  a  painful  silence  in  which  I  knew  conflict 
ing  feelings  were  seeking  for  mastery  in  the  brain  of 
my  companion,  dazed  and  all  as  it  was;  even  so  pride 
ruled. 

"What  do  you  want?"  came  the  reply  at  length, 
in  thick,  merciless  tones.  "I  was  always  weakly  gal 
lant  where  you  were  concerned,  and  this  time  traveled 
nearly  four  thousand  miles  at  your  summons;  for  to 
refuse  would  have  been  to  humiliate  you." 

He  paused  to  study  the  effect  of  his  words,  and  see 
ing  nothing  but  shame,  dejection,  and  disgust  in  my 
attitude,  grew  half  apologetic.  "I  was  not  sure  of 
you,  though — one  never  could  be — so  I  may  perhaps 
be  excused  for  having  imbibed  perhaps  too  freely  of  the 
'cup  that  cheers'  just  to  help  me  out.  'Twas  a  habit  I 


184  PANDORA. 

contracted  when  I  thought  I  had  lost  you;  now  I  have 
found  you  again  I  may  discard  if." 

He  laughed  shortly,  cynically. 

I  had  never  seen  him  in  quite  that  humor;  it  was  the 
old  bitterness  when  crossed,  strengthened  by  time  and 
spirits.  It  angered  me.  I  felt  like  a  helpless  rabbit 
in  the  snare  of  the  hunter. 

"Circumstances  have  changed  since  then,  and  I  with 
circumstances.  It  is  nothing  short  of  disgusting  to 
discuss  the  matter  at  a  time  like  this — disgrace  to  pro 
long  the  interview." 

"Disgusting?"  he  sneered.  cr\Vas  it  any  less  dis 
gusting  to  make  the  proposition  you  did  while  he  lived, 
and  you  were  his  wife,  than  to  continue  it  now  he  is 
gone,  and  you  are  free?  Would  it  have  been  any  less 
disgraceful  for  a  married  woman  to  plan  an  elopement 
with  a  view  to  forcing  her  husband  to  obtain  a  divorce, 
than  for  a  free  woman  to  offer  a  premature  ray  of 
hope  to  one  she  professed  to  love,  and  from  whom 
an  unfortunate  combination  of  circumstances  alone 
separated  her?" 

Feeling  the  reproach,  I  hung  my  head.  His  words 
distressed  me,  opening  as  they  did  old  wounds.  I  ex 
perienced  the  anguish  which  a  nature  thirsting  for 
love  feels  when  inspired  by  the  thought  of  a  true  and 


RESULTS.  185 

noble  affection  unknown1 — appreciated  and  requited 
when  too  late,  then  reminded  of  its  folly  and  ingrati 
tude.  The  tears  restrained  since  my  loss  welled  up 
into  my  eyes,  trickling  down  upon  my  face.  He  mis 
took  them  and  softened. 

"Pandora,  if  it  is  time  you  want,  for  God's  sake 
say  so,  and  I  will  wait,  and  hope  on  until  you  can  feel 
your  actions  above  reproach." 

He  spoke  with  something  of  the  old-time  fire,  which 
had  once  been  all  powerful  to  move  me,  while  the  ray 
of  imaginary  hope  had  illumined  his  face  as  I  had 
known  it  during  my  love  dream. 

''Perhaps  I  understand  your  feelings  somewhat,"  he 
suggested,  persuasively.  "The  physician  who  had  mar 
ried  for  monetary  reasons  and  in  consequence  been 
neglectful  of  his  wife  during  her  lifetime,  then,  at  her 
death,  without  delay,  continues  negotiations  for  an 
other  alliance  which  had  been  begun  previous  to  her 
demise,  might  rightly  be  accused  of  having  approved 
of  the  former's  death.  Your  power  of  instilling  hap 
piness  was  the  treatment  you  withheld  until  it  was 
too  late  to  save.  That  was  your  sin  of  omission  of 
which  you  repent,  and  you  think  to  encourage  me  now 
would  be  one  of  commission.  Only  say  this  is  it,  Pan 
dora,  and  I  will  wait  willingly,  thankfully.  Your 


186  PANDORA. 

monument  may  be  as  long  a  term  of  regret  and  self- 
reproach  as  you  deem  suitable,  and  while  you  are 
building  it  I  will  go  away  and  rebuild  my  own — my 
fallen  fortunes  and  reputation.  I  am  not  attractive 
now,  I  will  admit,  but  I  can  make  a  man  of  myself  yet. 
I  will  go  to  the  Klondike  gold  diggings  in  Alaska,  where 
many  another  less  capable  perhaps  has  become  rich, 
and  dig  and  delve  for  your  sake,  returning  only  when 
I  have  won  fortune ;  or  I  will  enlist  with  the  Canadian 
batallion  preparing  to  leave  for  South  Africa  in  the 
defense  of  Great  Britain  against  the  Boers,  returning 
only  when  I  have  won  fame.  Give  me  but  hope — it  is 
all  I  ask,  all  I  want.  "With  love  and  hope,  man  can 
accomplish  almost  anything." 

There  was  a  world  of  entreaty  in  the  plea.  His 
very  life  seemed  to  hang  upon  that  one  word  "hope/' 
while  my  face  must  have  indicated  little,  for  I  had 
none  to  give.  I  had  the  utmost  contempt  for  the 
false  step  I  had  taken,  and  for  him  in  aiding  me.  It 
seemed  his  real  feelings  must  be  the  same  with  re 
gard  to  me.  The  other  had  died  in  defense  of  my 
honor;  this  one  held  the  proof  of  my  dishonor.  His 
presence  at  any  time  now  would  have  irritated  me; 
the  occasion  aggravated  it.  He  had  the  right  to  sup 
pose  I  had  no  love  for  my  husband.  It  is  for  the 


RESULTS.  187 

American  to  "presume."  My  sympathies  were  all  for 
myself. 

"My  love,  my  life,  my  happiness  are  all  buried 
there,"  I  said,  inclining  my  head  reverently  in  the 
direction  of  the  casket,  then  dropping  it  again  upon 
my  chest.  "What  hope,  then,  can  I  hold  out  to  you 
who  have  indirectly  brought  this  upon  me?  If  you 
had  advised,  in  place  of  encouraging  me  by  a  silence 
which  might  mean  anything,  all  might  have  been  dif 
ferent,  and  although  my  humiliation  might  have  been 
greater,  my  self-reproach  would  have  been  less.  If 
you  possess  any  feeling  for  me,  in  pity  show  it  now, 
by  leaving  me  alone  with  my  dead  and  my  sorrow." 

He  staggered  as  though  about  to  fall,  then  braced 
himself  with  a  mighty  effort.  His  strength  was  all 
in  his  scorn  which  reflected  itself  upon  every  feature. 

"Pity!  You  dare  ask  it?  And  from  me?  You 
who  have  been  the  whole  cause  of  my  undoing,  and 
then  spurn  me  for  it  ?  No  boy  ever  started  out  with 
brighter  hopes  and  prospects  in  life  until  I  had  the 
misfortune  to  meet  you.  From  that  moment  you  had 
but  to  beckon,  I  followed.  Your  smiles  had  power 
to  make,  your  frowns  to  mar  me.  .  You  knew  it  and 
used  your  influence  to  wreck  my  life,  and  bring  sor- 


188  PANDORA. 

row  upon  all  who  love  me,  and  yet  you  talk  of  pity, 
of  self-reproach! 

"I  credited  you  with  having  married  from  pique, 
no  thought  of  mercenary  motives  crossed  my  mind  in 
connection  with  you  then,  and  I  was  tempted  to  write 
what  I  did.  Your  scathing  reply,  without  decreasing 
my  love,  increased  my  respect.  In  God's  name,  why 
could  you  not  let  me  retain  the  latter,  and  live  my 
life  out  in  peace,  at  least?  In  time  you  would  have 
become  but  a  revered  memory — a  sacred  page  of  his 
tory;  but  now  my  idol  has  turned  out  but  clay  and 
shattered — my  dream  has  proved  but  a  nightmare. 
What  incentive  have  I  now  to  live?  What  can  the 
future  possibly  hold  in  store  for  me?" 

Again  I  felt  the  sting  of  his  words,  and  thought 
what  a  lawyer  he  would  have  made;  wondering  vague 
ly  if  it  might  not  have  been  different  under  other 
circumstances,  but  the  slightest  indication  of  weakness 
now  would  but  prolong  the  interview  and  consequent 
agony  to  both.  Then  his  denunciation  was  severe. 
While  feeling  I  deserved  it  in  a  measure  it  did  not 
obliterate  my  bitterness.  If  I  had  sinned,  I  believed 
I  also  had  been  sinned  against.  If  he  had  lost  respect 
for  me,  what  could  he  expect  from  one  whom  he  had 


RESULTS.  189 

encouraged  in  a  step  beyond  retraction  in  its  conse 
quences?  Surely,  that  was  not  love. 

As  matters  stood,  this  life  held  most  for  the  one 
with  the  least  turbulent  conscience. 

"You  have  been  gallant  to  a  fault/'  I  said  coldly; 
"had  you  been  less  so,  the  future  might  have  held 
more  for  both  of  us.  Nothing  remains  now  but  to  fill 
up  the  gaps  in  our  separate  ways  to  the  best  possible 
advantage." 

I  made  a  move  as  though  I  would  end  the  inter 
view,  for  I  dreaded  Mrs.  Neville  appearing  on  the 
scene. 

"Stop,"  he  said,  "I  am  not  through  with  you  yet," 
grasping  my  arm  firmly  as  I  turned  to  leave. 

There  was  a  dangerous  light  in  his  eyes,  such  as 
I  had  seen  before  in  our  childish  differences,  only 
doubly  intensified.  I  was  alarmed,  and  struggled  to 
release  myself,  but  he  only  strengthened  his  hold. 

"It  is  an  easy  matter  to  be  loyal  to  the  dead,  for 
they  rise  not  to  disappoint  our  plans,  yet  I  envy  him 
because  you  will  be  faithful  to  his  memory  longer  than 
to  anything  that  has  lived.  There  is  a  mystery  sur 
rounding  death,"  he  continued,  growing  calmer  as  he 
continued,  but  this  very  calmness  frightened  me  the 
more  from  its  unnaturalness,  "a  mystery  which  appeals 


190  PANDORA, 

to  the  sentimental  part  of  your  nature,  and  makes  you 
regretful,  but  it  will  not  last.  Something  more  enliv 
ening  will  divert  your  mind,  and  a  score  or  more  hearts 
will  break  because  of  your  glances.  Your  conscience 
will  not  fully  awaken  until  you  are  driven  into  a  cor 
ner,  then  all  that  is  noble  in  you  will  rise  to  the  sur 
face,  for  you  will  have  time  to  realize  the  depth  of 
love  of  those  you  have  scorned." 

As  he  spoke  he  drew  me  closer  and  closer  to  him 
until  I  was  clasped  in  an  embrace  entirely  inconsistent 
with  his  looks  and  tone,  which  seemed  almost  threat 
ening. 

I  tried  to  call  for  help.  Exposure  was  a  secondary 
consideration  now,  but  I  was  too  paralyzed  with  fear 
even  to  plead  with  him. 

I  could  feel  his  hot,  liquor-laden  breath  upon  my 
face,  which  came  in  short,  quick  gasps  between  the 
sentences. 

"It  is  easier  to  die  than  live,"  he  went  on,  "when 
hope  has  fled,  and  one  can  feel  the  one  he  loves  will 
live  and  regret,  but' — love  none  other." 

In  an  agony  of  suspense  I  watched  him  take  a  short, 
wide-mouthed  bottle  from  his  vest  pocket  and  hold  it 
to  his  lips,  and  believing  it  to  be  whisky  thought  to 
escape  during  the  action;  but  that  other  arm  held  me 


RESULTS.  191 

like  the  vise  of  death.  I  caught  one  look  of  the  most 
intense  suffering  upon  his  face  and  the  label  upon  the 
bottle,  then  at  last — the  truth  of  his  great  love  came 
home  to  me. 

'Tather  in  Heaven!"  I  prayed.  "Let  not  his  light 
go  out.  Oh!  save  me  from  another  such  load  of 
guilt." 

'Tlex,"  I  pleaded,  with  all  the  fervor  I  could  com 
mand,  <clive,  oh!  live  for  me."  At  the  same  moment 
his  other  arm  loosed  its  hold,  and  I  fell  to  the  floor 
with  a  pain  in  my  eyes  the  intensity  of  which  no  lan 
guage  can  describe. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

THE    DIM    FUTURE. 

'.'Peace,  come  away;  the  song  of  woe 

Is  after  all  an  earthly  song; 

Peace,  come  away;  we  do  him  wrong 
To  sing  so  wildly;  let  us  go. 

Come,  let  us  go;  your  cheeks  are  pale; 

But  half  my  life  I  leave  behind. 

Methinks  my  friend  is  richly  shrined; 
But  I  shall  pass;  my  work  will  fail. 

Yet  in  those  ears  till  hearing  dies, 
One  set,  slow  bell  will  seem  to  toll 
The  passing  of  the  sweetest  soul 

That  ever  looked  with  human  eyes." 

There  is  a  hazy,  mellow  feeling  in  the  air,  fragrant 
with  the  smell  of  the  second  harvest  of  hay — new 
moAvn.  A  dreamy,  melancholy  languor  prevails  every 
thing,  everywhere,  for  the  golden  days  are  the  last 
warm  breath  of  autumn — the  harbinger  of  a  long 
Canadian  winter. 

The  swish-swish  of  the  mower's  scythe  through  the 
scarcely  moving  grass  seems  to  breathe  the  echo  of 
an  oft-repeated  sigh,  and  each  crisp  leaf  as  it  drops 

(193) 


194  PANDORA. 

to  its  lowly  position  to  speak  in  its  flight  a  mournful 
adieu. 

Down  the  river  there  comes  the  echo  of  a  sports 
man's  gun — a  splash- — silence — then  a  maniacal  laugh 
• — ha!  ha!  ha!  as  though  in  derision  of  the  fruit- 
lessness  of  the  shot;  startling  to  those  not  accus 
tomed  to  the  sights  and  sounds  of  northern  waters. 
But  it  is  only  the  "loon/'  who  from  force  of  habit 
dives  below  at  the  first  intimation  of  intrusion  upon 
his  territory;  then  arising  at  a  safe  distance  seemingly 
mocks  the  invaders,  knowing  well  his  merits,  if  any,  are 
in  the  "wing,"  not  the  "flesh."  But  the  voice  of 
the  land  bird  is  silent;  only  the  parting  sweep  of  my 
riad  wings  overhead  instinctively  migrating  southward, 
to  remind  us  of  past  blessings,  and  make  us  regret 
ful  for  months  to  come  of  the  most  soul-stirring  of 
open  air  concerts. 

My  face  is  raised  to  Heaven.  My  nostrils  and  ears 
greedily  drinking  in  every  sweet  sound  and  smell; 
they  are  so  much  to  me  now.  Involuntarily  I  upraise 
my  arms  as  though  to  stay  the  flight  of  my  loved 
songsters,  but  they  have  passed  on  out  of  hearing,  and 
I  drop  my  arms  again  with  a  cry  of  disappointment. 

"What  is  it,  dear  ?"  two  loved  voices  anxiously  ask, 


THE  DIM  FUTURE.  195 

and  two  pair  of  arms  are  wrapped  protectingly  about 
me. 

"They  have  gone,"  I  sob,  "all  gone,  and  I  never  half 
valued  them.  I  forget  it  is  not  always  summer  now." 

"But  they  will  come  again,  child,  in  the  spring,  and 
you  will  prize  them  all  the  more  for  having  lost 
them.  Remember,  dear,  it  is  not  always  winter  either, 
nor  more  lengthy  for  you  than  for  those  who  love 
you,  and  will  help  you  weather  it  through." 

I  am  lying  in  a  hammock,  suspended  from  the 
branches  of  two  adjoining  oak  trees,  and  guarded  upon 
either  side  by  Mrs.  Neville  and  my  new-foumd  mother. 
It  is  the  latter's  home  and  my  own  now.  Mrs.  Neville, 
lead  pencil  in  hand,  is  jotting  down  from  my  dicta 
tion  the  finishing  touches  to  the  history  of  my  life, 
which  I  hope  to  have  published  after  I  am  gone;  but 
I  have  begged  as  a  favor  that  this  be  made  the  closing 
scene. 

If  I  had  kept  a  diary  from  my  earliest  youth  the 
story  might  have  appeared  more  realistic.  I  have  tried 
to  throw  myself  into  the  spirit  of  the  scenes  as  they 
here  occurred,  or  as  I  recall  them,  and  if  discrepancies 
or  inconsistencies  seem  to  occur  in  my  characters  by 
my  having  said  those  things  which  should  have  been 


196  PANDORA. 

left  unsaid,  and  leaving  unsaid  things  which  should 
have  been  said,  I  trust  the  reader  will  be  lenient. 

Should  he  accuse  me  of  being  too  melodramatic,  I 
can  but  refer  him  to  our  San  Francisco  "dailies,"  to 
realize  such  scenes  are  of  frequent  occurrence,  and 
"when  we  are  in  Home,"  we  may  write  up  Home. 

Should  he  doubt  my  moods  or  question  my  vagaries, 
let  me  ask  him  if  he  has  ever  noticed  a  sensitive  or 
clinging  vine  which  needs  for  its  welfare  plenty  of  sun 
shine  and  attention,  that  if  neglected  it  will  still  grow, 
though  oftenest  in  the  wrong  direction;  for  in  its  efforts 
to  find  something  to  which  it  can  cling,  susceptible  in  its 
weakness  to  every  wind  that  blows,  it  will  incline  first 
one  way  and  then  another,  always  facing  the  sunshine 
if  it  can  be  found,  unless  a  chance  support  unwittingly 
draw  it  into  darker  places,  when,  robbed  of  its  prin 
cipal  and  natural  sustenance,  it  will  thrive  but  poorly, 
dragging  out  a  miserable  existence  until  beyond 
that  support  also,  when,  poised  in  mid-air  without 
brightness  or  proper  aid,  it  sways  again,  first  one  way 
and  then  another,  finally  breaking  off  at  the  most 
tender  point.  But  even  at  the  last  moment  when 
life  is  almost  gone  and  hope  about  dead,  even  though 
robbed  of  its  one  time  freshness  and  beauty,  and  the 
darkened  experience  for  a  period  stop  its  growth, 


THE  DIM  FUTURE.  197 

should  a  helping  hand  come  to  its  assistance,  bring  the 
sunshine  back  into  its  life,  and  train  it  in  the  way  it 
should  go,  the  strength  of  its  roots  will  still  sustain 
life,  permitting  it  to  follow  its  natural  bent  and  finally 
outgrow  the  shock. 

Upon  the  other  side  of  the  hammock  my  husband's 
mother  sits,  busily  engaged  in  knitting,  an  occupation 
which  seems  almost  inseparable  from  her,  and  contrib 
utes  largely  to  the  comfort  of  the  neighboring  needy. 
I  had  been  listening,  among  other  sounds,  to  the  click, 
click  of  her  needles,  feeling  satisfaction  in  this  proof 
of  her  near  proximity,  for  she  was  very  dear  to  me; 
but  like  Mrs.  Neville's  pencil  and  my  tongue,  they  too 
had  stopped. 

A  spell  seemed  to  have  bound  the  three  of  us  until 
my  interruption.  When  the  elder  one's  arms  slipped 
away  the  knitting  did  not  continue. 

"Are  you  there,  mother?"  I  asked,  lingering  lov 
ingly  over  the  name — it  was  such  a  new  experience  to 
me,  and  feeling  about  for  her  hands. 

"Yes,  daughter,"  and  she  clasped  mine  in  hers 
again.  "But  Mrs.  Neville's  allusions  to  the  seasons 
made  me  thoughtful  of  the  winter  of  life.  Its  snows 
have  long  since  fallen  for  me.  All  this  decay  of  na 
ture  is  but  a  reminder  of  death — spring  the  revival  of 


198  PANDORA. 

a  new  life,  where  I  shall  meet  once  again  the  loved 
who  have  gone  before,  and  angel  voices  will  replace 
the  song  of  birds." 

We  all  three  relapsed  into  silence  once  again,  and  I 
find  myself  becoming  envious  of  old  age,  for  beyond 
the  perpetual  darkness  I  see  four  beatific  faces- — those 
of  my  husband,  my  parents,  and  my  early  sweetheart, 
Rex  Hilborne.  Indirectly  I  have  been  the  cause  of  all 
their  deaths,  but  there  is  nothing  but  love  and  good 
will  upon  their  faces,  as  from  their  different  pinnacles 
of  glory  they  beckon  me  to  come.  But  a  sigh  from 
Mrs.  Neville  arouses  me.  I  draw  her  toward  me  and 
press  her  to  my  heart;  our  tears  mingle,  but  we  do  not 
speak;  each  knows  what  is  passing  in  the  other's  mind. 

There  are  worse  things  than  death. 

"Behold,  we  know  not  anything; 

I  can  but  trust  that  good  will  fall, 
At  last — far  off — at  last,  to  all, 

And  every  winter  change  to  spring." 

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